Dooky Happens
by Coniine
Summary: Zim had forgotten. Dib never realized. All it took was an intergalactic war for Zim and Dib to see that there was no time for a kids game. -light ZADR, rated for violence-
1. Questionable Futures

**Okay, Coniine here. Thank you Illisandria Carthain for volunteering to beta this story! -cheers-**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Zim ;~; or Dib...or the Tallests...or Earth...or anything really. Jhonen Vasquez does. -runs away crying-**

**Okay, you may proceed now.**

Questionable Futures

Four years. Four miserable, stink-filled, germ-infected, acidic years on a ball of dirt with the Dib-human. Even if he did gain some height, the amount of time he spent here pissed him off.

His days were filled with advancing through the meaningless ranks in the horrid skool system, and attempting to enslave the miserable excuse of a dominate species on the backwater planet he was forced to accommodate for the time being. The Dib was his primary threat and hindrance but eliminating him was proving to be harder than he first thought.

When he had the time to (in-between the manic rages that accompanied failing and his next brilliant idea) he experimented to improve his chances at succeeding. He mainly attempted to upgrade his PAK, though he was always very careful, even if he knew his insides very well the possibility of him actually crippling himself were always present and terrified him. The tinkering of and upgrades to his PAK had done some good in the end. For instance, he came across a mysterious chip that he removed to make room for a new laser, which upon first inspection seemed to do nothing but take up space so he left it out. After much study in his lab however, he found it was programmed to regulate growth so that Irkens would not grow erratically due to gravity differences throughout the universe. The effect caused by the removal of the height regulation chip came some years later, when the prolonged exposure to Earth's lighter gravity made him able to gain an increase in his small stature. He grew to a full 5' 3" and caught up with the Dib, which was very satisfying. Zim was proud of his new height and only wished he could have impressed his Tallests but the Tallests hadn't stayed to see the results.

Three years ago was the night his Tallests got bored of their never-ending fa ade. He learned of his eternal banishment, and of the ridicule he suffered at the hands of not only his Tallests but his people. He was to follow new orders. He was to stay, but not conquer or attempt to do anything outside of his Food-drone encoding. It was his last warning, because they said they would not tolerate any more disobedience. The next time he tried to pull a stunt like he did with his Foodcourtia banishment they would terminate his existence and trash his PAK so his essence would never live on.

The depression that followed this news had hit first and it hit hard. It shook his frame down to his very bones. He wouldn't leave his base for weeks. The Dib had come knocking often, shouting about how he was not going to get away with anything, but he just sat in his base and thought to himself '_SSSTtupid Dib. There is nothing to get away with. I've already lost_.' He wouldn't like it, but he would obey because it was an Irken's duty to obey their Tallests.

Following the depression came the denial. Surely the Tallest must be joking, he was ZIM! He was an asset they couldn't afford to lose, an Invader on a secret mission. He started planning again, and went outside. '_Pretend everything is okay, and it will be._' He survived a whole week like this, until the Dib had taunted him.

"Hey, alien scum! Where's your Armada now? Hm? You'll never conquer Earth! Not while I'm around!"

That triggered the anger. He was ZIM dammit! Zim unfurled all the emotions he had bottled up to pretend everything was okay. All the sadness and hurt. Betrayal. Insignificance. Defectiveness. They all came out the only way he knew how: in a blind rage. Dib had barely made it home alive.

Zim had stormed back to his base, destroyed it and ended up deflated and hysterical on the floor of his lab in the lowest level. The onslaught of emotions threatened Zim's already questionable sanity. In a last ditch effort, his PAK reset. It took what an Irken was supposed to feel according to the Invader training that was installed, and regulated Zim's emotional spectrum to fit the picture. Zim had literally shut down, and rebooted.

Awake, rational, and stabilized, Zim started returning to school and pretending to be the old Zim for the Dib's sake. The fights were a bit more brutal, and no more was said about the races they belonged to. It was between Zim and Dib now, not Humans and Irkens. Dib didn't know about Zim's mission abortion, but what Dib didn't know wouldn't hurt Zim in this case.

(::)(::)(::)

"Incoming Transmission from the Tallests." The computer droned.

It took a minute to process what exactly that meant. He had not gotten a call in years. It suddenly shocked something deep in the Irken's mind and he jumped up off the couch and into the labs to patch through the line to his main screen.

The Tallests faces appeared up on the monitor, looking tired and worn.

"Zim. Been awhile. You're...Taller." Tallest Red gave a lame, small, almost guilty smile as Tallest Purple waved half-heartily from behind him. Zim's eyes narrowed, but he saluted nonetheless.

"My Tallest. How nice to hear from you again. I wasn't expecting it." After all, he was still an Irken, and had to follow the order of height, but he didn't have to pretend to be okay with what they did. He felt it was his right to be a bit bitter. Red frowned, catching on to the under toned meaning.

"Listen, Zim, I know that we were hard on you, but you are still a part of the Empire and the Empire needs you. The Resisty has gained a surprising amount of power and is waging war on us. We had gathered our forces around the Massive, and in the near areas, but they are intercepting our transmissions somehow and can plan measures against our attacks before we make them. We can't contact our forces on the outskirts of the Empire or the registered Invaders."

Zim's eyes widened. Anyone going up against the Irken Empire must be strong to have survived this long, and for the Tallests to have trouble was rare. This was serious; they had underestimated the Resisty when they had made their first stand and were paying for it. Red continued.

"Right now, they don't care about you on Earth and you're still registered as a Food-drone. We need you to join the war and start gathering the other Invaders and allies to the Empire. We only have a few more minutes before this transmission is no longer safe and we will not be able to have contact again. We're sending you all the maps and where Irkens were last recorded. Zim, the Irken Empire may not be able to win this war without those masses." Red's eyes narrowed, scrutinizing the smaller Irken, trying to impose on him how big a deal this mission was.

In the background, Purple scoffed. "We're all doomed."

Zim knew the importance of this task. The fate of the Irken Empire rested in his capability. Feeling an overwhelming sense of defensiveness over his homeland and a strong determination, he saluted again, completely serious, surprising both Tallests. There was no declaration of being the best, or angry ranting at the stupidness of the enemies, or even a mention of being reinstated as an Invader and being needed or important. "Yes, My Tallests, you will have your secret army ready. I will head out immediately."

The transmission was cut, and the computer started processing the information streaming in from the Massive. The Irken watched the data upload, letting the relief from being a part of the Empire again swell in his chest, and slumped back into a chair. He would allow himself this moment of weakness, but then it was off to the war, which held no room for such things. He remembered all too well the difference between the Irken life and the Human life, and come morning, he would be in war mode, killing any feeling of attachment or resentment he might have for this place. He would be indifferent to anything else, and he would be focused. He would not tolerate failure from anyone, especially himself.

The Empire before all, and all for the Empire.

**Reviewwww~ It gives me more want to continue this story, or else I'll give up and you wont get to read any more. Also, I'm thinking of updating on Fridays for now.**


	2. Farewells and Vindication

**Yay, Coniine here again, and with a new chapter! \o/ Aaannddd another thanks to Illisandria Carthain for being a wonderful beta. **

**I'm updating a day early because of some family matters that forbid me from working on this for all following days till April 23. v.v I can try to write more during the night, but then my writing will be even worse and I don't want to torture Illisandria like that. HOWEVER, come the 24th, I'll be right on this story again, no worries. **

**Without further pause~ Enjoy.**

IZ Dooky Happens Ch 2

Farewells and Vindication

It had taken about one Earth year, and Zim had collected most of the Irkens, flocking to Earth when they heard of the trouble. Convincing some of them to follow him had been more difficult; since he was known as the clown in the bear suit. He had to show the Tallests' transmission recording over many times which instigated some surprising reactions from the Irkens'; most of them did not know the extent of the war and that it had reached the Tallests' doors, and some did not even know there had been a threat to the _Massive_ in the first place. However, despite the differences in their thought process all of them wanted the satisfaction of killing the enemies who dared stand against their leaders.

The moon was more purple than usual and Dib was the only one to notice it, confronting Zim on the subject a couple of times. Zim shrugged it off seeing as the Dib-worm did not need to know that the surface was covered in the various purple and pink Irken crafts being suited for the upcoming war.

_'This is taking too long. We need to get going if there is any hope for the Empire.'_ Zim had been so focused on his thoughts that he wasn't paying attention to their teacher drone on about doom.

Something buzzed in Zim's PAK, it was an incoming transmission. 'Probably from Tak on the moon, reporting in.' Even she was able to be swayed into working under Zim for the greater good of the Empire.  
Zim stood up and marched deftly out of the room, while Dib yelled at him from behind. He didn't stop until he was inside the boy's bathroom, and then he checked all the stalls for stragglers skipping class.  
A device opened from his PAK, hooking over his shoulder to show a screen in front of his face. The screen flickered for a moment, but then Tak's undisguised face came into view. _"Invader Tak reporting in Taller Zim."_ The Irkens had fallen in to war-time order, using the underused titles of Tall and Taller for Irkens above or about your rank or height (Zim couldn't help from relishing in the title just a little bit since he had been below average for most of his life)._ "All of the ships on the moon have just finished receiving the new power-ups and-"_ Dib burst in panting for breath as Tak continued without missing a beat. _"-we are just waiting on the last hundred lasers. The total count of Irken ships has just reached 100,087 and while all have some sort of weapon 87,003 of those are actual warships. The lower Irken Drones are refreshing the piloting and shooting skills in their PAKs as we speak. All should be ready tomorrow."_ If there was one thing great about the Irkens, it was that they were ready for war at anytime. All Irkens, no matter what their station might be later in life, had basic fighting, shooting, and piloting skills drilled into them almost right after activation.

Zim ignored Dib's gaping mouth for the moment, not even acknowledging he was there. "Very good, Invader Tak. Continue supervising and report in by morning tomorrow, and tell all the pilots to stay on the dark side of the moon, there was a blurry shot of an Irken Voot-Cruiser posted around the town by the crazy alien worshipers. The biochemical warfare preparations will be done in my base later tonight. We'll need to get one of the freights down here to pick it up."

"_Very Well, Taller Zim. Invader Tak, signing off._" The 'Taller' was stressed through her teeth. With that, the device close and retreated back into the PAK and Zim got up again.  
Dib, who had been working on his Irken for all these years, had gotten some of the conversation, such as the "hundred lasers", "100,087 ships", "ready tomorrow" and the "biochemical warfare". His oversized brain went to some horrible and really off-target conclusions.

Zim walked by the stunned Dib, tapping his lower jaw roughly to close his mouth. "You shouldn't keep your pie-hole open, flying germ carriers could get in." With that, he went to open the door leading to the hallway. Dib snapped out of his shock, and whipped around, grabbing Zim by the arm. Zim had to stop himself from shooting out a mechanical leg and pierce the threat in the head; he had to remind himself that he was not on the battlefield yet. Dib noticed the hesitation and the clicking sound in the PAK, but would never know his closeness to death as Zim turned his head to look at the human through synthetic pupils.

"Wait, Zim. What are you planning? Warships? Wasn't that Tak? I thought you hated her and she hated you? You're not gonna get away with this ZIM!" Dib's sudden rant ended by pointing his finger in Zim's face.

"This is nothing you need to concern yourself with, Dib-hyuuman." Zim's eyes narrowed as he pushed the offending finger away, daring the human to go there and let Zim be able to leave. If Dib brought up Earth, Zim would have no regrets leaving their battle for his Empire. A part of him that was quickly squashed, however, called for the opposite. _'Zim could always take Dib with-NO'_

"It's my concern as the Hero of Earth to protect it from whatever you're planning!" There it was.

"Relax, Dib-worm. You're fffilthy planet is safe for now. I have more pressing matters to put my amazing brain to. Irk matters." Zim gave Dib a clearly unimpressed look and a flip of the hand. Dib returned it with a confused look.

"You're not after Earth?" Zim gave an overly dramatic exasperated sigh.

"No, Dib. Get your hearing disks checked. I'm not interested in your pathetic excuse for a planet any longer." Zim turned, swung the door open, and slammed it behind him before the Dib could delay him any longer. Dib stood there, unsure whether to be happy, or hurt. His planet was not pathetic...okay, well the people on it were, but that was not a good reason to not protect them. He was confused though. '_What could make Zim not want Earth? If he was not after Earth, then what could the warships be for_'  
He knew he had crossed the unspoken line when he included the Earth. For awhile now, it was their fight, Zim v. Dib, no planets spoken of. But Zim had returned with Irk, which, if he remembered correctly, was the name of Zim's home planet last time he had hacked into Zim's computers. Last time Zim's home planet or leaders had anything to do with their fight, Dib had gotten seriously beat. What could have changed? Was something happening with Zim's home planet? Why the fuck are these mental games so complicated between them!? Wait a miunte....100,087 warships....where the _HELL_ is he fucking _hiding_ those things?! Dib grabbed his head in frustration and panic.

It was almost 3:00 am Earth time when Tak called again. "_Taller Zim - Invader Tak reporting in._" Zim nodded in response. "_The ships were finished earlier this morning, and I believe that the less experienced pilots are about as good with defensive and offensive maneuvers as they will be considering the time we have. We will be ready to go by sunrise._"

"Very good." Zim tapped his fingers together. "In the meantime, have Skooge fly down a freight to pick up the chemicals.

_"Yes Sir!"_ She saluted and the transmission was cut. Zim went off to the elevator. He needed to check on the packaging of the chemicals and get everything readying for departure. They would not be able to come back for any thing forgotten, and so it was best nothing was forgotten to have to come back for.

Dib had awoken with a start as the floating monitor that was his father sounded off like a horn next to his ear. He groped about for his glasses and glared up at the recording of his father that started to play. "Morning son! Don't forget, today you are to come to the lab at noon, I'm unveiling my latest project and I want both you and your sister there. Remember to eat a healthy breakfast!"

"Shit! Forgot about that!" Dib jumped from his bed, yelled to Gaz to tell her to get ready, took a quick shower and got dressed. Looking at the clock, he realized that they had about an hour till the unveiling. He went downstairs and met his sister for breakfast. It was a relatively normal event for them with the beeping of Gaz's Game Slave 3 and Dib's external monologue on a certain alien who was up to something that he just couldn't figure out. When the time came they walked down the street together to the Membrane lab and to the outside area where the unveiling was. Up on a stage outside, there was a podium and Professor Membrane was talking to some other scientists near it. A crowd was already gathering. Another scientist walked over to the two kids.  
"Hello, are you Professor Membranes roommates?"

"Um, I guess. We're his kids." Dib shot him a flat look.

"Okay, well follow me." They went around the crowd, and up some stairs in the back to get to the stage. When they got to the top, they were greeted by their father and shown to some seats behind the podium.

Skoodge had driven the freight ship down from the moon while avoiding detection with the improved cloaking device (the ship was just too big to not be seen without it). Zim had planned for these ships to bring living needs for all the Irkens, such as food and medical care equipment because they were going in to war and who knew what the damage was over at the _Massive_. Skoodge hovered the ship over Zim's base, close to the top of the roof. He then sent a transmission down to Zim, telling him that he was in position. Zim opened the roof of his house and the chemicals to be loaded were beamed up into the bottom of the invisible ship.

The particular chemical that they were to be using made the Irkens famous in old wars before the Irken Empire was the super-power in the galaxies. The toxin targeted one's brain, destroying functions, both voluntary and involuntary. PAK's filtered out the poison, and so littering the battlefields with this toxin allowed the Irkens to survive, while the other species wilted. It was a deadly and superior tactic that hadn't been needed in hundreds of years so it took Zim all year to recreate. This type of warfare, however, meant that the Irkens could not receive help from allies on the battlefield because they would perish along with the enemies (this was a historical reason why the Irkens dominated and didn't align themselves with other peoples.  
After all of the chemicals were packed, checked for security, and checked again, Zim and Skoodge shut down the house. The wires disconnected from the neighbors and the house retreated into a small drill-like device that unearthed itself, leaving the Voot on the ground. Zim picked up the device and put it away in his PAK, turning to face his companion.

"Skoodge" The unkempt Irken shot to attention, "Wait in the freight and tell Tak to get the masses ready. They are to hover over this Earth's neighborhood. Sightings aren't an issue, we're leaving anyway. I need to make a quick visit, and we will all leave together once I finish this last business." Skoodge looked surprised a first, but saluted and boarded the freight ship. Zim climbed into his Voot to go and say his farewells.

The event was slow, but it was going. The crowd had gathered by one o'clock, and the media was setting up as Membrane got ready for his small speech and the large cloth that covered the invention was rustled in the wind.

"And now - the man without whom this world would fall into chaos, and the inventor of SUPER TOAST - Professor Membrane!" The crowd burst into cheers and some few who where overly excited lost gravity and flew at high speeds into space foaming at the mouth all the while.

"Thank you mankind! Here's what I've been thinking..." Professor Membrane started talking when a gust of wind swept past and a strange, small, purple craft of some sort landed on the edge of the huge stage. The crowd was shocked into silence; just staring wondering if this was part of Membranes invention?  
Dib's eyes opened wide, his mouth gaped open as he recognized Zim's ship._ 'What the hell was he thinking?! Surely even humans would catch on at this! He wasn't supposed to hand himself in; I was supposed to expose him'_

The round top opened and exposed the lounging lean figure of Zim from school. Retaining the air of having all the time in the world, he hopped out onto the stage and strolled over to where Dib had sprung up from his seat. The positioning was better than he could have planned; he was near enough to the microphones to be broadcasted to all the viewers. His eyes fixed onto Dib, holding back his laugh from the shocked and defensive look on the boys face.

"Well, Dib. Hellllooo." A smirk slipped past as Dib's mouth opened, then closed, tried to open again, then set itself into a straight line with an eyebrow raised in question.  
Zim chuckled, and Membrane cleared his throat.

"Aren't you Dib's little foreign friend? You'll have to come back later - we're busy at the moment." He looked down on Zim as if he hadn't come in on a flying ship.

"Well, yes, I am foreign, but I'm not his friend really. I am like-wise busy, and I do not have the time for later. Now will be the time I talk with Dib, and you will wait." Smirk gone, Zim's eyes narrowed on the Professor before returning to Dib. "Dib tell me, what do you know about my species?"

It took a minute to catch the question. He answered warily but truthfully, "Not a whole lot, honestly. I've only recently been able to decode your language, and then you stepped up the firewalls around your information." Zim looked highly amused.

"Well, I'll tell you something. My species are called Irkens, Dib-hyuman. We've forgotten what we do best, kind of like how your species can ignore what is right in front of them to make their life easier. Irkens have forgotten that we fight. That we _win_." The wicked smile that appeared on Zim's face made Dib's skin crawl. Why was he telling him this? "My race has ruled for so long, then we all got comfortable, and now we have a foe. Now, Irkens have remembered, and we shall help them never forget again. I am leaving, Dib, leaving to go and show them who the _hell_ they are messing with." The grin turned downward into a snarl. He ripped the wig from his head, and plucked the contacts from his eyes. Judging from Membrane's face out of the corner of his eye, Zim could tell that here was Dib's vindication. "Sadly, this means I cannot kill you as planned, Dib-beast." Zim's mood became flippant and he picked at his gloves distractedly. "When I leave, I will not come back. When I win and become a hero, I will be given more important missions while a lower ranking soldier comes to Earth."

Dib was shocked. Should he yell about his not-craziness to the crowd? Should he yell at Zim for exposing himself, or thank him for giving him this chance for his future? Not that last one. Should he be happy or angry that Zim was leaving never to return or that the whole Irken race might get erased if they failed? While he fought these points our in his head, he kept a confused and blank look on his face.

Loosing interest in his gloved hand, Zim looked to the sky. Dib followed his gaze and observed the thousands of ships now in plain sight. The sky darkened with the mass of ships that he knew were Irken. The questions in his mind suddenly stopped, along with most of his other brain functions for the moment. The crowed seemed to have done much the same, as they all sat, beholding the humming cloud. One ship separated from the blob and continued down to land next to Zim's. It opened to show Tak, the same height she was last time Dib had seen her. So he assumed that growing wasn't normal then. Her eyes flickered to Dib, and then to Zim. She rolled her eyes and then saluted to the fellow Irken.

"Sir! The army is ready. All weapons are online, and your battle tactics are memorized. The freights are filled and the worm-hole for galaxy crossing draws near. If we hurry, we can enter it." Zim nodded and threw the wig and contacts over to Dib, who caught them with much surprise.

Dib looked to the items to Zim and back again. Settling his eyes on Zim, he voiced a question. "That's it then? We're done?" His voice was surprisingly steady, unlike his insides. It was such a normal line. More like a break-up situation for a couple.

"That's it." Zim confirmed, looking back to the ships. "I commend you on protecting Earth all by yourself all of these years, even if they all thought you were crazy." He gestured lazily to Membrane frozen at the podium. "You were a...sufficient rival. But I guess I lose by default." Zim grinned once more. It was not as bad as he thought it was, admitting defeat to Dib, not when he was going back home. Both of them would live well, both would be heroes, and both would get what they had wanted all along. Zim turned to his Voot, and Tak followed suit.

Dib wanted to stop him. He wanted to do a lot of things, some things he didn't even know what. It was just the overwhelming urge to do something, anything. He clutched the wig and contacts to his chest, trying to fill the hole that started to open. His life goal was leaving. He had won, but he felt he was loosing. His alien was just leaving...just leaving.

"FUCK YOU, ZIM**!**" His voice exploded out of him as the Voot closed and took off into the sky. Dib watched it take the head of the fleet, and didn't stop until the little ship was out of view, lost to the stars. He would not cry. Not now, in front of the world.

And so it was that later, that a white object caught the attention of one paranormal investigator-turned-hero as it was stuck among the black fibers of an alien's wig. He unwrapped the paper from the solid object carefully.  
It was wrapped around a tube with an Irken symbol. It was grey with a square purple end that had a pink button on one side, and a round purple end on the other. He pressed it, and it shortened, opening a drill from the round end. He looked at the piece of paper it had been wrapped it. Unfolding it, he saw a poorly written note. With eager eyes, he read the last thing Zim would ever say to him:

_If you can't stand the way this place is, take yourself to higher places._

_Zim would, and Zim is AMAZING_.

**Thank you to all who have reviewed. It gives me life fluids that make up for the sleep I lose over this story. **


	3. Fight on the Commune

**Yay~ Coniine is back! and with a new chapter! I know it's been a long time and sorry for that. Hope this is good ^^;**

**Kitsune Krazy brought something up in her review that I would like to post, and I do have her permission. She said:**

**"And yes, I must admit that chemical thing is majorly kickass and facinating. Wonder what it is, a compund or element? or something else entirely? Is it naturally occuring or purely Irken made? Hm... these are important questions my friend..."**

**And I will tell you these answers to clear things up! It's a compound. Irkens found a naturally occuring poison, but then experimented with it, and made it deadlier. So this particular chemical Zim made is purely Irken made. Continuing with her questions she asked:**

**"And does the poison being a man-er- irken made weapon count as biological warfar? I tink so but... meh... Hey, hey!!! If its a natural poison its been originally created by either flora or fauna soooo... couldn't there be other creatures naturally immune to it if enough time for evolution were to elapse? Wonder what type of flora/fauna could produce it... mebe a lizard?"**

**And the answer to this is that it's biochemical warfare, not biological, and seeming as chemical warfare involves using the toxic properties of chemical substances as weapons to kill, injure, or incapacitate an enemy, I think that this Irken-enhanced poison qualifies. I don't know where it came from, I don't think Irkens do either. It hasn't been used in hundreds of years, but the Control Brain probably knows. It might have come from some type of space-lizard xD Sounds plausible. But Zim had basic info on the compound stored in his PAK from old times. From this info he recreated it using the basic molecules found where ever he could get them. And while evolution is a funny subject, I don't believe there are creatures that are immune to this posion at this time unless they have a filter much like a PAK. Because this poison was changed after it had been taken from the naturally occuring creature, it is not the same, and so it will harm this creature.**

**Hope that didn't just make things more confusing. And thank you Kitsune Krazy for reviewing and letting me post it here, and also to Illisandria Carthain for being a wonderful beta.**

******Disclaimer: v.v I don't own nothin'...Oh wait...I own Turg and Hmorf...but they're Irkens...and Irkens belong to Jhonen...so does that count? Oh well...I own nothing.**

**On the the Story!**

IZ Dooky Happens Ch. 3

Fight on the Commune

Space travel never really got old, no matter how second nature it is to you. Seeing the distant stars leaving trails of light as you go by was such a comforting and beautiful sight to the Irken. It was nice to be off a planet; Irkens were not made to stay in one place for too long.

Zim let himself slightly slouch in his chair, keeping half his attention on the monitors. It would not do to have the some Resisty ships notice his presence before they got to the Massive (although it was harder to find something you didn't know existed). If the Resisty knew about the nicely sized fleet coming to aid the Massive, they would have had trouble even getting out this far. It seems the transmission from the Tallest was secured enough that no information was tapped which was good…very good.

They had been flying non-stop for about an Earth month, equivalent to about four turns of Irk (seeing as a week for Earth was about a day in Irken time). The Earthlings had some of the shortest lifespans among the other life forms in space while Irkens had some of the longest. It pained Zim to know that, should he had wanted to, it would have been easy to simply wait out Dib's life and win. If he could wait for GIR to stop being annoying while in the brain of the base, he could surely wait out a human life. He chuckled darkly to himself on that thought as a screen came up on one of the monitors.

The Irken on screen looked about to say something, but stopped short at the evil noise coming from the Taller Irken. When Zim shot an annoyed look at the screen, the Irken shrunk back and his antenna went flat back on his head in a submissive fashion. Hating to be interrupted when he was finally enjoying something, he growled at the poor Irken. "Well?" The unnamed Irken on the screen jumped and stammered.

"_I-Irken D-Drone Renik, reporting in from Co-Commune Ship 312. A-A fight has broken out in the main eating room. Captain Drak has gone to try and stop it, but they don't seem to be listening. W-We didn't want to bother you, b-but we're not sure how to h-handle it._" The Irken had shrunk down so far in his seat under Zim's increasingly harsh gaze, that he was almost one with the cushion.

Reigning in his impatience, Zim sighed and rubbed his forehead tiredly with his left hand, releasing the drone from his piercing stare. Said Drone visibly relaxed. After a few moments, during which the small Irken was trying to work up the nerve to ask Zim about the situation again, Zim's eyes snapped back to the Irken on the screen. Jumping in his seat, the Irken lost all the nerve he had mustered.

Zim's eyes narrowed in agitation. This drone would not do well in the fight if he does not realize that there are scarier beings out there than himself. The evil Chihuahua dog on Earth, for example. "Stop your sniveling...Renik, was it? Remember what race you are a part of and don't disgrace it." He gave a flippant wave of his hand but retained his irritated look as the other Irken's eyes widened in surprise.

"_Y-yes, Sir_!" The small Irken saluted, brightening up a little bit - Taller Zim, overall commander if this fleet, had remembered his name and recognized him as something. He was _so_ going to brag later to the other drones. Zim was something of an idol. To be the Defect and amusement of the entire Empire, to being of height and power; maybe other Smalls could do it too.

"I'm coming over, prepare a dock." With that, the transmission was cut from Zim's end, and he started another to a certain old friend. "Skoodge!" The messy Irken head whipped around to the screen.

"_Yes, Sir!_" The Invader shot to attention, after seeing the well-known face.

"Take the lead for a bit. Just head straight toward the _Massive_ and keep an eye out for unidentified ships. Call immediately should anything come within detection. Got it?" Skoodge looked about ready to burst from happiness.

"_Right away, Sir_!" The line was cut, and soon Skoodge's Voot pulled alongside Zim's. Nodding to the Smaller, Zim pulled up and swerved around to the middle of the formation where all the Commune ships were located. Scanning the sides for numbers, he hovered over 312. With expert technique, he settled his Voot into the dock after it had opened, and waited for the hatch to close before opening up his own vessel. Three Irken drones appeared to greet him as he emerged, one of them he recognized as Renik.

"Report Renik," he addressed the nervous worker as he started his march to the main eating hall, the others following a step or two behind trying to keep up with Zim's fast-paced strides.

"Sir! A fight between Turg and Hmorf in the Cafe, both are of four Tags in height, and they won't listen to anyone trying to stop them. They swear that the Captain is one tenth a Tag shorter than them and that...um, well..." Zim eyed the hesitating Irken, never slowing his pace.

"Out with it, Drone." Zim was not getting a good feeling from this. If someone got hurt from these two, there was going to be hell to pay. The drone looked up at Zim's face with a worried and sad expression. Renik knew that Zim had to know, but he wasn't sure about what Zim's reaction would be. He took a deep breath.

"They doubt you, Sir. They say your a Defect. One that shouldn't be leading them...that...you're hiding behind Tak as she does all the work. That Tak must be shorter than them. Each saying that they are the next tallest in the fleet and that they should be the leader of this mission." Renik flinched, preparing for the worse, but Zim had no reaction other than the dangerous narrowing of his eyes. His step did not hesitate, his face showed no shock. It was almost as if he had expected this. The Irken Drone's eyes opened wider. How could this soldier be so okay with the insults that were a direct threat to his leadership? Turning down hallways and almost throwing doors off hinges, Zim and his small party made their way to the Cafe Wing of the ship. Seeing the doors ahead of him, and already hearing the sounds of metal legs clanging, he snatched up two boxes of Vort Crackers. Kicking open the door, Zim did a quick scan of the room to find his targets at the same time as he winded his arm back. Feeling his muscles flex to their full capacity, he hurled the two boxes at the heads of two unsuspecting Irkens named Turg and Hmorf.

If one has ever been hit by a corner of a flying box going at about one hundred twenty miles-per-hour, one would know that even a fully trained Irken would at least be put off balance. It just so happens that Zim's aim was so good, that he was able to split the tough Irken skin right above Turg's right eye, and knock Hmorf onto his butt while leaving a nice black bruise on the left side of his head right where a human ear would have been.

After gathering their senses about themselves once again, they searched in the direction the projectiles had come from. It was not hard to find the source, as the crowd in the lunch room had gone silent and parted, revealing a small group of three gaping Irken drones of the ship, and one pissed looking Irken crossing his arms over his chest, tapping his foot as if waiting for an explanation. Turg was the first one to respond, though maybe not how he should have.

"What the hell!" He growled through his teeth. Who was this guy, seemingly only a few fractions of a tag above him, to come in here and hit the tallest soldier on this ship? To the side Hmorf got up, made a show of dusting himself off, glaring at the newcomer. The Dones shrunk back away from the middle Irken as his PAK clicked threateningly and his scowl deepened. The heavy boots hitting the floor was the only sound as the unidentified Irken straightened and made his way toward the two fighters.

"You are realatively new, aren't you? You must have come in the last days of the preparation on Earth's moon. It is understandable why, then, that you do not know my new look. I had been working solely in my labs on Earth the last week or so. It is not understandable, however, that you still do not know how to measure height." A vicious snarl came out, definitely showing a sign of dominance, as he ended up hovering over Turg by a whole tag and a few fractions.

Turg and Hmorf had paled as the figure came closer, and gained more noticeable height over them. By the time he was done with his sentence, he was close enough to recognize the defining features of the face that had been broadcasted all over the Empire for entertainment all those years ago. First thought was that this was Zim, Zim who had killed two Tallests, and half the planet during Impending Doom 1. Hmorf lowered his antennae in submission. Then Turg thought of the Zim that he had seen just four years ago, being told that he was a failure on live broadcast to the entire empire. Swallowing his irrational fear, Turg tried to stand as tall as Zim.

"It seems you cannot tell soldiers from pretenders. You, Zim, let Tak do all the work. She was the one gathering us. You're _fallible._" The last word was said like a curse.

Lashing out, Zim's claws clamped around Turg's neck, while robotic legs swund around and held Turg's PAK shut and his arms by his sides. Zim's voice was deathly low, and yet was clearly heard by everyone in the room. "**I. Am. Zim**. I am planning to kill a lot of people in the upcoming battles, and I am not opposed to starting with you if your pompous personality will be a threat to this mission."

Despite being intimidated and having issues breathing through a compact windpipe, Turg scoffed. "And you've killed two Tallests! You've killed many Irkens all for your self gain, what's one more? You care nothing for this race do you?!"

"SILENCE, FOOL! One more is _nothing_ to me. _You_ mean _nothing_ to me. You have not earned the attention of Zim! You do not have a big head! I would not even bother to look down on you if you were not making a mess of things on this ship. I should throw you out the airlock for your insolence. I get what I want. That's all I have ever done. The Tallests were an accident, but I don't really have any regrets about it." Zim's released a cruel grin. "I set a goal, and I achieve it. My goal before was to be known. You all know me now, don't you? My goal now, is to save the fuckin' Irken Empire, and if you are against me on this, so help me, I will crush you with my enemies! I care so much about this race, that I will kill anyone to keep it from destruction. Any Irken should be so willing, but you have grown soft in your time of comfort!" Zim's grip on the other Irkens neck was growing increasingly tighter as he was now screaming into Turg's face. Turg's eyes had gone wide and his antenna had pressed flat back again his head. When Zim released him, he fell to the floor on his knees. Zim turned away sharply, towards the rest of the crowd. He pulled out a transmit mike from his PAK and patched it through to the entire fleet.

"Invader Zim, commander of this fleet, reporting to all ships." His voice was still smothered in suppressed anger and irritation. "Are you all this stupid?" He let a pause hang in the air before he continued. "We have had a fight break out on one of our Communes. I didn't think I would have to have this announcement to a fleet of fully trained Irken soldiers, but it seems I have underestimated some of your amazingness. You are not smeets! I will NOT accept this. I know I'm a stranger to most of you, and for those of you that know me - it has not been a pretty tale to hear. However, I am still living and isn't that the goal here? The Irken race has coddled itself for too long now. You've got to be bigger, be faster, and be stronger if you're going to survive any longer. The first fight might be your last. We can not be failures, because we have something to prove. We have to show the Resisty, and everyone, that they cannot just defy the Irken Empire." No one clapped or said anything as Zim finished, gave a last glare at the two who were fighing, and marched deftly out of the room. The Irken fleet had much to think on.

* * *

Out in the hall, Zim's PAK beeped. A screen appeared showing Skoodge's face. "_Sir! Skoodge reporting in._"

"Speak." Zim kept his eyes on the hall in front of him, hardly showing he was listening to the other Irken.

"_Sir! We have just passed the half-way mark. Four more Turns and we'll be up upon the Massive._" Zim thought hard on this. They had been traveling for a long time at a fast pace but, if they picked it up a notch, they might be able to get there in three Turns rather than four. However, it would take up a considerable amount of power.

"Pick up speed, Skoodge. Get us there in three Turns." The short Irken's eyes opened wide.

"_But...Sir, the power needed...the weapons..._" He stammered as Zim's eyes narrowed. Why did nobody just listen to his amazingness and not ask questions?

"I know. Do it." Sensing tone of finality, Skoodge saluted and the screen put itself away neatly in Zim's PAK. Zim felt the tug as the Commune ship picked up speed to match Skoodge's lead, and heard the whirl of the power being drained into the engines. This would take a toll on the power meant to be put into the lasers and guns, but getting to the Massive came first. Figuring out how to save said _Massive _came next.

**Yay~ There it is. Hope you all enjoyed it to some extent. If you did, oorrr if you didn't, please review! It's my fuel to keep writing really. I kid you not! reviieewwww~~~**


	4. The Battle is over! Oh Wait, Nevermind

**Hey, Coniine here, sorry about the wait. **

**Once again Kitsune Krazy, with her questions, brought to my attention that a Tag might not have been described very well. :"Ok, what the heck is a Tag?! Like what, a couple inches? half a foot? Im so confused!" To answer her question, A Tag is about a foot.**

**And this just made me laugh: "holy shit, Zim is one scary mo fo. If i was Turg I'd implode. (O_o)" xD Love you Kk.**

**Overall, thank you people who reviewed on chapter 3! -hugs you all- Even the strange anonymous ones (what is the Datin Empire(Dat-in)? )**

**DISCLAIMER: NOTHING is mine! ;o; cept the outfit design, and the plot line. Ohh! Actually I own Renik, Hmorf and Turg! ....but not Zim...or Dib v.v**

**Okay, well enjoy! **

IZ Dooky Happens Ch. 4

Battle is over...oh Wait, Nevermind.

During the three Turns that it took to get near the _Massive_, Zim could often be found on one of the Communes simply to be a reminder of what an Irken should be like. There was also a seventy-five percent chance that if you could find Zim, you would find Renik, Turg, and Hmorf somewhere nearby. Zim's presence in the fleet was tangible. His boots had a distinct metallic thud on the floors that echoed throughout the hallways, and he always had an air of being too busy and having nothing to do at the same time. When he walked in the room, heads turned and antennae leaned towards his direction. Skoodge had an almost full-time head of the formation, constantly sending Zim calls on the smallest of changes. Sometimes Tak or Zim would take over, but lately with Zim in the public places and Tak saying she had better things to do, Skoodge was happily the person to set the pace.

Aboard the Commune ships there were training centers, which were seeing much more use since Zim had made his announcement and it was showing in the crew. Irkens were made to be fit, but one could still become out of shape despite the PAK's influence on muscle tone. Much pleased with himself on this, Zim would constantly visit the Training Facilities and sometimes even join. However, training did not involve target practice because no one was to use any fire arms or energy consuming device without authorized permission. Energy was running lower than Zim was comfortable with and they needed all they could get once they reached the _Massive_. The only upside was, it looked as if they would reach the _Massive_ by the end of the third Turn.

Seeing as Irkens only needed about four Earth hours of sleep per one Earth week (which is equivalent to one Turn of Irk) to be healthy, if all soldiers slept before they arrived at the _Massive_ then they were good to fight for at least three Turns (three Earth weeks) before they started passing out. Keeping in mind that he expected every Irken out there to push themselves to their limit, he ordered a mandatory sleep round. Every Irken was required to sleep at least five hours before they reached the _Massive_.

An Irken bed was much like an Earth bed. It is a layer of mattress filled with various shape supporting foams. There is an indent where the PAK is placed into. The PAK then attaches to a power source installed within the bed to recharge the Irken. After the connection is made, the PAK will go into a low-power state. When the Irken awakes, the PAK will override the machine and retake control over vital functions before disconnecting. Unfortunately, sleeping involves a certain amount of power. Not much, but collectively it will be more then enough to drain the ships by the time they reached the _Massive_; for that, Zim cursed the ugly human heads and their stupid thoughts of stupid! Power on Earth was so polluted and so overly-filtered that it was weak and couldn't nearly support the ships as well as even the worst type of power Irkens had ever used. Stupid, stinking humans. Stupid Stupid Stupid. While the energy wasn't entirely needed and an Irken could technically sleep and gain energy without the aid of machines, it was not nearly as effective and the requirement of time spent asleep increased. They needed every Irken at their best.

Having waited till they were closer to their destination, Zim was just reaching the end of his fourth hour of sleep in his room on the Captain's Commune - where all the higher officers and Invaders had their rooms - when Tak came bursting in.

"WAKE UP! YOU MORON! WE'VE ARRIVED!" Angry at Zim for sleeping and hibernating his PAK during such an unfortunately important time, she marched up to the bed and swiftly smacked Zim on the top of the head next to the base of his antennae. The abuse next to the Irkens most sensitive organ roused his PAK from its hibernation to give a low dosage of pain killers to assuage the would-be headache. Opening his eyes, he waited patiently as his PAK woke up, vision and hearing clearing.

Seeing the open eyes, Tak started the break-down on the situation. "Sir! We can see the _Massive_. It's only just come into sight, and Skoodge _tried_ to call you." Her flat look was missed in Zim's grogginess. When Zim's mind was done taking its minute to process what exactly was said, his eyes shot open and his body tried to likewise shoot up despite his PAK not having released its grip on the machinery. He hissed in pain as his PAK held him in place. Tak, knowing the pain of a pulled PAK, reached under Zim's shoulder to the connecting skin and focused on massaging that area. Hitting a PAK or even slamming your back against a wall, while not advised, does not really hurt the Irken except for the blunt impact. However pulling on a PAK is another story completely. When even the ache drowned in pain-killers and massages, Zim just studied Tak's face as she concentrated.

Catching Zim's eye, Tak pulled her hands back as if she had been burned. "What?" Her tone was defensive and complimented the glare she was giving the Taller Irken.

"Nuthin'." Zim smirked, his PAK disconnected from the bed and he sat up, swinging his leg over the side of the bed.

A cough from the doorway turned both Irkens heads around. Renik stood eyeing the scene. "Sir," Renik addressed Zim, ignoring Tak. "I was sent to see what was taking so long..." His sentence dragged off, as if asking for an explanation while not daring to actually voice it.

"Nothing, I was just waking. Fill me in as we walk to the hangers, I'll take my Voot to Skoodge and we'll see what's good and what's..uh...not good." He gave a flip of his hand and took long strides out the door, oblivious to Renik's expression change from neutral to surprised to a distasteful look. The last look was shared between himself and Tak as they both followed after the leaving Irken. Halfway to the hanger and just realizing that no one was talking yet, Zim addressed the two behind. "Well...?"

Renik's mind had been on the subject of what he had witnessed within Zim's room. Sleeping was only done alone. No other life forms were supposed to be in the room at the same time because it was an Irkens most vulnerable position to be in with their PAK hibernating. And yet, Tak had been in the room with Zim while he had been sleeping. It was a sign of trust that Tak had the clearance to open the door that Renik was kind of jealous over. It was a known fact that Tak had hated Zim, and yet he had made her his second-in-command and they seemed to be getting along just fine if you asked him. When Zim had grabbed his attention, he shook his head and opened his mouth to answer, only to snap it shut and glare when Tak beat him to it.

"Sir, Skoodge has sight of the _Massive_ on the radar. We have to assume that someone on the Resisty ships also have sight of us. We don't have enough power left to attempt to hide our fleet." Zim's eyes narrowed in thought. The Resisty would see them, but only if someone was there to see them. The Resisty should not waste a soldier to look for something they didn't think would ever come. This fleet is off the charts, every ship they have is tagged as somewhere else with the Invaders that weren't reported to have moved off their planets.

Nodding, Zim decided he would chance it. "That's not a problem. We don't have to worry about the radar, but we do have to worry about them seeing us when we try to board the _Massive_. What's the nearest planet?"

"Zim!" He shot her a glare over his shoulder and Renik smirked "I mean, Sir, you can not assume that their going to be negligent of their stations just because they're at war. We don't know if they are still fighting, they could have won alrea-" She was cut off as Zim spun fiercely on his heels to face her.

"_Don't you even finish that sentence._" The threat of bodily harm smothered his words. Even Renik feared for his health and he was not even the one being spoken to. "The Tallests _can not_ have been beaten. It was never even a _possibility_." He had emphasized so strongly that even Tak half believed him. Zim spun back around and continued his brisk march to the hanger. Both stunned Irkens had taken this as "end of discussion", but Zim ordered: "Planet. Now." Renik jumped.

"Ummm, right!" A screen showing a chart popped out of his PAK and he studied it carefully. "It looks as it we're close to Planet Dirt, the _Massive_ had been unloading the garbage when the Resisty ambushed them." There was a mumbled "God, I hate planet Dirt." from Tak as Zim thought this over carefully.

They had reached the hanger, and Zim jumped into his Voot. "Tak, bring your Voot around to Skoodge. We'll talk once we figure out what he sees."

"Sir!" Zim took off ahead as Tak made to get into her ship. She was stopped by Renik as he lightly put a hand on her arm.

"Tak, do you like Zim?" Tak sputtered a bit, and took a few steps back away from the apparently insane Irken.

"No! Don't be stupid." Tak gave an indignant look, but it softened when she saw the pleading look in Reniks eyes. "Listen, Renik, I don't like Zim, he's just a moron who is unbelievably stupid. And yet he makes you want to be there for him. I hated him - I hated him with every fiber of my being. He ruined my life. But when you see him try so hard in a society that hates him, you feel almost jealous of his strength. When you realize that you envy a complete loser, it's a real eye-opener." Tak smirked and put her hand on Renik's shoulder. "But you care for him, right?" Renik's eyes widened, but eventually he nodded slightly. "Then don't show it. He doesn't want you to be distracted. If you want to help him, don't love him. Just be an Irken, that's all he wants from you."

She entered her Voot, leaving Renik rooted to the floor with shock.

When Tak got to the front of the fleet, Skoodge and Zim where talking though transmissions, each in their own Voot. She joined them, pulling up alongside Zim's Voot. Zim extended the transmission to her, and they both greeted her warmly enough before continuing.

"Okay, so from the data we've got, I suggest that we-" Skoodge started.

"No." Zim's abrupt statement caught both of them off guard, but his thoughtful look made them curious. After a pause, he continued. "Change course, I want the fleet behind Dirt. Leave the big Medical Bay there with most of the freights. I want the Medical-Drones going back and forth from the _Massive_ to that bay getting the hurt out. Tak, prepare the soldiers for war." He grinned evilly and proceeded to inform them of his genius plan. The Resisty wouldn't know what hit them.

* * *

They had won. It was unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable. The Resisty had beaten the _Massive_! Oh, and no one had thought they could do it! Lard Nar laughed almost hysterically seeing the Tallests struggling against the restraints. Their crazy plan had worked. They had gotten a hold of a rare matter. It was called Takky. It was strong, strong enough to hold an Irken, and yet malleable enough to create a web-like net. Takky had been used in PAK innards and was almost impossible to get but they had acquired just enough to make two nets. When the Tallests had pulled out their spider legs, snipers had shot. By some stoke of luck that Lard Nar was not about to question, the nets were on target and the mechanical legs had gotten tangled up. With the useless legs and the surprise, it had been just enough to over take the Tallests. With the leaders down, the defense was down and the Irkens had lost!

As the remaining Resisty - surging with new found confidence - picked out the remaining Irkens on the big ship, Lard Nar and his other closest officers stayed in the main deck and watched the Tallests. All the Irkens that were found were either killed if the resisted, or bound and put in the group of hostages with their leaders making the perfect picture of victory that Lard Nar was thoroughly enjoying.

The Resisty had almost lost. Stupid Irkens and their PAKs, it made them nearly impossible to kill. Lard Nar scoffed.

* * *

"This is insane. You know this, right?" Tak gave Zim a very annoyed look as he fixed up his new outfit.

It was almost like the standard invader uniform, but Zim insisted it needed a Zim-y flare to make it infinity better. This outfit actually fit his increased height and went down to his mid-thigh. It had slits running up the outter shirt all the way up to where his hip joined his torso, leaving his legs to move freely in battle. He had the same tight black pants on underneath that met black boots at his knee. He was actually very proud of these boots. They were a light metal with plates that were layered like scales. He had a belt across his shoulder and chest that vials were strapped to. This was the chemical that Zim had worked so hard on. Every Irken would be fitted with this, and they were under orders to throw the vials into enemy lines. He also had another belt around his waist that held one gun-holder at his side. Some Irkens would also receive these; however, each laser only had enough power to shoot 3 times. After this the power was out and they either had to win this, or die trying because there was no chance of escape. Overall, the outfit delivered the maximum opportunity for flexibility and offense. He was going to be kicking some serious ass really soon, and he couldn't wait.

"It's necessary." Zim strapped his laser into its holder.

"It's really not. You're just going to your death you know." Zim rolled his eyes.

"There's no way I can die. Plus, this plan needs a distraction or else it won't work."

"Why can't someone less important to this entire operation go?"

"Because no one can do it as fashionably as I can." Zim grinned and, checking everything was secure, jumped into his Voot. "I'll make an announcement to the fleet as I go in. You're in charge, get everything ready and wait for my signal." Tak saluted and backed up as the Voot took off.

* * *

Once on course towards the Massive, Zim opened transmission to the entire fleet. Last time he had done this, it had been in a fit of rage. This time, it was a fit of determination. "Invader Zim, Commander of Rescue Fleet One here. As you may have already heard, we have reached the _Massive_. You are behind Planet Dirt. Invader Tak is going to situate everyone with vials of biochemicals. When you go into fight, you are to throw them into enemy lines. I want those bastards covered in this poison. Sadly, we do not have enough power for lasers or guns. We are going in with our fists, but it's all we should need. Every Irken has PAK legs, flexibility and strength that they don't have. Remember that." He hadn't much considered what he should say to inspire them all to fight, and so he was just going to say what he told himself whenever he needed to be strong. He took a deep breath. "Change everything you are and everything you were. Fight. Fight like you have never fought before. Anything goes in a place like this and you've got to be the best. Revenge will surely come. Don't let yourself down because your last chance has arrived and you've got to use it to be heard. This is the fleet Irken history will remember as the savior of the race!" He took a moment of pause. "Your time is NOW!" It was a yell encasing all his feelings of determination and assuredness and imposing them on his fellow Irkens. If he listened carefully, he could have sworn that he heard the war cries being shouted to the ceilings.

* * *

Lard Nar kicked an Irken soldier down next to Tallest Red who hissed dangerously, making his take a step back. Even restrained and beaten, he did not trust the leaders.

Shloonktapooxis***** floated up behind Lard Nar, and shouted a loud "hi!" to get his attention.

"Yes..?"

"Well, we might have a problem...."

"Uhh! What now?" Lard Nar could not deal with any more problems. They had just won the fight, couldn't they be done with problems?

"Well...a ship landed in the hanger!" Shloonktapooxis sounded way too happy. Lard Nar was definitely not happy.

"What ship?!"

"Looks like an Irken Voot!"

"ARGGG! And no one noticed this? Where's the pilot?" Lard Nar pulled on his horns in frustration.

"Somewhere on the ship..." Lard Nar growled at this. Whoever landed could blow everything! Over in the corner, Red was smirking all too cockily having heard the conversation.

"You..." Lard Nar walked over towards the Tallest, "You know who it is, don't you?"

Red grinned. "Maybe." Lard Nar narrowed his eyes and made to kick the Tallest in the stomach, but a yell stopped him. Looking up, he saw Spleenk flying in through the door dripping blood. He was knocked out on impact with the railing, and then the floor. Everything went silent and every eye was trained on the opening to the dark hallway. There were distinct metallic footsteps echoing, and it sent a chill up Lard Nar's spine. Whatever came through that door, it wasn't going to be good.

The foot steps became louder and the tension increased. Stepping into the light, a tall Irken could be identified. He must be the pilot from the new Voot. He was not injured and he sported a dangerous look. The Irken was glaring, his eyes never leaving the Tallests tied up on the ground. Lard Nar had the strange feeling that he was going to be in for a tougher fight than even the Tallests had given him, and it thoroughly scared him.

Tallest Purple couldn't help the hysterical fit of giggles that suddenly hit him as Tallest Red tried his best to look dignified while tied up, bloody and surrounded by his defeated soldiers.

"You're late, Zim." Red smirked. Lard Nar's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he whispered a broken "...no..." of pleading disbelief.

Zim grinned and everything went to hell.

**Please don't kill me for leaving it there! -hides-**

**ATTENTION!: If you go to my Deviantart account you can see a picture I drew of Zim in his new outfit!!! Aren't you so lucky! Unfortunately, I can't post a link here, but lookie, all ya have to do is open a new browser, and type in synthesizedconiine, then .deviantart and then a .com finally ending with a /art/Zim-No-one-as-Fashionable-163633607 **

**;] hope you can get there.**

**Shloonktapooxis btw is that cone guy in the Resisty from Backseat Drivers. Spleenk is also a guy from the Resisty, the one who had a major flip-out. Look em up on Google!**


	5. A Potential Problem

**Whew..Conine is BACK! I know, I know: It's been an awfully long time and I left you with a steep cliff BUT I still updated eventually. And so Invader Neo (whose name has .'s in between the Invader and the Neo and after the Neo, but FanFic wont let me type that for some reason...) you don't get to eat my soul. xD**

**Annnnddd to the lovely rejectsuperstar who said "Oh mannn...it's gonna go DOWN in the next chapter." at the end of chapter 4: I laugh now xD**

**Bwhahahahaha! You'll see why.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader Zim or any of it's characters. Jhonen Vasquez is the real creator.**

**[Update - I made something more clear is all. Content hasn't really been changed.]**

IZ Dooky Happens Ch. 5

A Potential Problem

_Zim lay on his back, his PAK holding him up awkwardly. He panted and coughed up blood as a dark figure loomed over him. He had fought hard, but he could no longer move as the laser was pointed at his chest directly across from his PAK. Glaring, he mustered up one last effort to spit defiantly up at the other alien. The laser buzzed as it charged. With a look as if he were squashing a bug, the alien pulled the trigger-_

-Gasping, Dib shot up, looking around frantically but everything was in order - it hadn't been real. A piece of paper was stuck to his cheek.

With a sigh, he pulled the piece of paper off his face and placed it on the table he must have fallen asleep on...again.

"Chill, Dib, chill. It was just a dream." He mumbled to himself, "God, you are going crazy. It's just stupid Zim. What do you care? Why are you talking out loud to yourself again?" Never finding an answer to that last question, he wiped the sweat from his brow and focused on the work he had been doing the night before...er...earlier this morning. It was a list of what he was planning on needing. He read it over once again:

-food for one for up to one year.

-water for one for up to one year.

-some sort of firearm.

-camera.

-Zim (he quickly crossed that out. Why was that on there?)

-clothes.

-space suit.

-air storage.

Dib sighed - he had a lot of work to do. Getting up, he stretched the kinks out of his back and went to the fridge to grab some breakfast.

It had been a month since Zim had left Earth - about three and a half weeks since he had figured out Zim's device and had almost gotten squashed when the house started rebuilding itself.

He had gone down to where Zim's house used to be and had just noticed the hole in the ground. Giving it a try, he had put the drill in the hole. Next thing he knew, a couch was being spat out and walls were starting to form. How the hell had Zim set up his house undetected, it was so freaking noisy!

It had been about three weeks since he had moved in to the freakish house. The first night, he slept on the couch. The second night, he had found Zim's room by accident. Having slept there, on the third night he was again on the couch. It was too weird to have Zim all around you while you sleep. Hell, the fucking bed had smelled like him. At least upstairs he could pretend he was invading and couldn't let Zim see him.

It had been about two and a half weeks since he got the computer working for him. The thing was surprisingly lazy and down about Zim having left him. He almost felt bad for it. Dib had found Tak's old ship in the roof area that seemed to be a type of landing pad - he had often tried to get it back after Zim had stolen it from his garage. With the computer's help, repairs became quickly underway. He had also started hacking in to some of Zim's restricted notes on whatever war he went to fight. All he had gotten so far was a transmission from his leaders that he didn't quite understand. Writing and reading Irken was very different from speaking it, the language was both rough and smooth and changed from between the two suddenly. It was lovely to hear, and yet almost made you feel like you were in danger.

It had also been almost two and a half weeks now since he had started watching that little beeping Irken symbol on the side monitor. He had asked the computer to track Zim's signal. Everyday, he watched it get farther away, and everyday he waited to see if it turned around.

Suddenly, an alarm went off. Dashing to the trash can, he entered the lower labs. Reading the screen, he realized the computer had gotten open one of the files on travel to the Massive. Breakfast forgotten, Dib sat, mesmerized by the information on the screen. How the hell had Zim gotten this info? It was about fluctuating black matter, worm holes, space travel, and time. A little put off that he couldn't understand most of it, he asked the computer. "Uh, Computer, can you just like...highlight or somehow point out the fastest worm hole and when it will appear?"

"I guesss..." The computer buzzed as it forced the information from its master's coded files and translated it into English language and time. When it was done, it made a happy beeping sound and pulled the data up on the main screen for Dib to view. "Here ya go."

"Thanks." Dib poured over what was given to him. Lets see...worm hole, appears at some coordinates that Dib couldn't specify where in space, and opens in approximately 1:52:33 - one year, fifty-two days, and thirty-three minutes? Dang, that was precise, but a year? That was too long to wait. "Computer, a year? There must be something sooner. Are you sure that this time is correct?" He looked back at the screen to check again, wait...1:52:27...the minutes were counting down, but way too fast.

"No doofus, that's one day, fifty-two minutes and twenty-five...twenty-four seconds." Dib's eyes widened considerably as his mind whirled.

"FUCK!"

* * *

Taking charge of his sudden adrenalin, Dib had jumped into his shoes and run down the block before he realized he didn't know what he was going to do.

Thinking back to the list, he figured that if he wanted to make it to this worm hole on time, he would have to just gather as much food and water as he could and figure out a way to breath in space. Zim probably had some sort of destructive firearm left behind and he would just pack limited clothes. He could afford to be a little grubby looking if he made it out in time. Plus the fact that there must be something compatible with his body among the Irken foods and water-like-thingies. He knew that the liquid in Zim's bath-thing didn't hurt him.

Deciding to start with the most necessary, he ran for the grocery store. Arriving and grabbing a cart, Dib raced down the isles sweeping random foods in. Among the things collected were canned vegitables, fruits, and pastas. When the cart was full, he ran to get jugs of water. Grabbing two of the biggest, he shoved the jugs under onto the low rack of the carriage. He swung the heavy load around to the register, toppling over an old lady, and hurried the lazy teenager as she rang up the merchandise. After packing all that he bought into plastic bags and shoving them back into the abused cart, water jugs included, Dib threw whatever was in his wallet and pockets at the teenage girl and made his getaway. There was no way that that was enough to pay for all of it, and he didn't have the time to get mixed up in trouble - he'd just deal with it later.

Stealing the cart he pushed it all the way back to Zim's (was it considered Dib's now?) house. Using the couch elevator, he brought the supplies up to Tak's old Spittle-runner.

"Computer! What's the progress on Tak's ship?" Dib started organizing the supplies and taking inventory.

"92% finished." Dib sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"How long will it take to be travel worthy?" Inside, he was repeating 'Please don't be to long'.

"Uhh...I dunnnnooo...maybe eighteen hours...?" The computer sounded so bored and it annoyed Dib, this was an emergency!

"And how long until the worm hole opens?"

"Twenty hours, forty-nine minutes and fifty-eight seconds." Dib swore under his breath. This was either impossible or going to be a really close call.

"Alright, try to get it done as fast as possible. Oh and – uhh - did Zim leave anything gun-related? I just need something to protect myself with."

"Probably...get in the elevator." Dib did as commanded and was lowered somewhere deep in the lab where he had never been before. When the door opened, it was to a dark room. Stepping out of the elevator, the lights flickered on and revealed a medium sized room with large wires and tubes over the floors and walls, not just the ceilings. Looking around, Dib observed the shelves stuck in between the huge cords. There was a surprising lack of dust and everything was left untouched from when Zim had been here. Feeling like he had stepped into the past, Dib was afraid to touch anything.

On most of the shelves there were half-finished projects of various types. Some looked more like heaps of mechanics rather than anything the could be destructive. For some reason though, Dib had the feeling that every single one of these had the power to be destructive. Wandering around the room, Dib looked at some things that looked like they could fire some sort of projectile. He must have spent at least half an hour in the room before he picked out two small finished laser guns, each fitting in his hands nicely. Next he chose something that looked like a ordinary knife, but when you pressed the button, some tinted-green, clearish liquid came out of the point. Dib had almost touched the goo, but decided against it when a suicidal drop of said goo burned a hole into the floor.

Sticking each laser into the top of his pants at his sides, and the sheathed knife in his back pocket, Dib entered the elevator, watched the lights go out, and asked to be returned to the upper labs. The computer yawned in response but did as asked. He walked around to the chair thinking about what else was needed. A beeping and flashing red light on the screen caught Dib's attention. He quickly read the information that was in the newly unlocked folder. Looks as if the computer was still breaking into Zim's coded files. To say that Dib was surprised at what he saw was an understatement. He was totally flabbergasted by the complexity of this compound that Zim appeared to be working with. There were diagrams that even his big head couldn't comprehend, and formula's that took up the whole of some of the other screens around him. It was a mass of numbers and variables that spelt doom. This could kill the entirety of human race if Dib was reading this correctly. It seems that on Zim's experiments on some earth animals and what looks like multiple types of alien skin samples, all turned out fatal.

Damn it all...he would die as soon as he got onto the battlefield. He needed something to protect himself...something to keep this chemical out of his body and apparently off his skin in general, or even in the general air around him if this information is correct - and he assumed it was.

"Computer!" Dang...he almost sounded like Zim there...that's scary.

"WWhhhaatttt...?"

"I need something that will prevent this chemical from getting to me. Zim must have had some sort of space suit with air. He must have needed air for going into space, didn't he?"

"You're so needy...I suppose he might have something. He packed and took the suits that he uses though. You could try looking through the rooms..." Dib's palm suddenly had a strong attraction to his forehead as he sighed.

"That could take hours!" Dib whined, but he turned to the doors to get started. He could have sworn he heard the computer chuckle.

* * *

Freaking F-ing Damnit all strait to the lowest parts of hell. He had been searching through every freaking room in this entire freaking huge-ass base. He was on his fifth hour of searching - this was a little ridiculous! Running through the base, he had worked his way up. He was now entering the main house and he doubted that anything space worthy would be held here. Searching anyway, he opened some sort of broom closet. He glanced around, it was a small space with cleaners and various cloths, a vacuum and a mop. Wow, Zim must really love sanitation - maybe he had a allergy to some of the Earth's germs and bacteria? He shut the door, and took a step away. Pausing, he took a suspicious glance back at the door. He thought he had seen footprints...

Opening the door again, he looked down to the one clear spot on the floor. There was a slightly raised pad with two pink colored footprints on it. He bent down and studied the thing. It looked metal and had lines, like where the thing could open...should he dare...? Deciding that he really needed to get some sort of suite and that this might be worth it, Dib cautiously placed his feet on the prints, ready to pull back should he need to. When it seemed okay, he put his entire wait on the pad and waited. Nothing seemed to be happening. Just when he was about to step off and continue his search, the pad glowed under his feet. His eyes widened, but he didn't have time before he was trapped.

Out of the footprints came metal that wrapped around his feet and formed boots. Unable to move, he was helpless as black goo shot upwards from the newly formed boots and wrapped around his limbs. It was all in a matter of seconds, and he was covered in a skin-tight black suit. A clear helmet formed around his head and disappeared. Dib could feel the air turning about his head, coming in from somewhere. The air had that clean smell, like the room had just been thoroughly sprayed with freshener. He poked at his face, or tried to, and the helmet blinked in as it was hit showing there was still a helmet there that was separating the room's air and the air he was breathing. A smile broke out on his face - he had found what he was looking for, finally.

"Computer! What it this?" Dib wanted to know why this awesome suit had been in the closet. Could it be faulty? If it was, it wouldn't help him survive in a toxic environment.

"That is a sanitation suit. Zim had created it when he found that there were multitudes of harmful germs on this planet. When he cleaned, he would wear it to protect himself from the harsh cleaners he used in the base."

"So, it can keep the chemical Zim was working on from harming me?"

"It's airtight, if that's what you mean." Dib let out a sigh of relief that he hadn't realized he was holding. He really needed this suite.

"Uhh...and how do I take it off?" Dib ran his hands along the suit looking for some sort of switch.

"On the right boot, hit the button." Dib found said button, and pressing it returned the suite to a goo like form that retreated into the boots, and then into the platform. Picking up the platform, which was a surprisingly light weight despite being awkward to hold, Dib rode the elevator up to Tak's/his ship. Leaving it next to the food that would need to go in the fixed ship, he sighed and returned to the main house level. Thinking on what else was desperately needed, he figured he should pack all of his clothes and bathroom necessities...oh shit...bathroom. How was that supposed to happen? He knew Zim had a bathroom in his base that he had been using, but did the Spittle-runner?

"Uhh...Computer...funny question: does the Spittle-runner have a bathroom that is compatible with my – um – specific needs?" Dib almost blushed at the thought of having to ask such a question. The computer actually did chuckle this time.

"Yes. Irkens have to use the bathroom with much the same result as you, only much much much less often. Human bodies are more wasteful with anything and everything that you put into it. The waste is incinerated within the Spittle-runner after, so there is no cleaning necessary." Dib breathed a sigh of relief and continued his path to pack.

* * *

Having packed all his clothes and bathroom needs such as a toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant, Dib had laid down on the bed. He didn't sleep here on Zim's bed, but he did change in Zim's room. He wasn't comfortable changing in the upper house and the bathroom was connected to Zim's bedroom anyway. This bed was ridiculously comfortable though and he hadn't slept well on the table last night. Having the weight of his stress on his eyelids, Dib couldn't help but drift off into sleep surrounded by the essence of Zim throughout the pinkish room.

* * *

For the second time that day, Dib awoke with a start. A loud beeping was going off in the room. When he had flailed off the bed, the sound stopped and the computer's voice broke through.

"Ship preparations are complete. Spittle-runner is now travel ready. And there is about two hours until the worm hole opens." Blinking rapidly and scrambling to his feet Dib's brain processed that information. He must have fallen asleep for hours! He had to run! And so run he did.

Dib raced up to the Dock and observed the ship repairs. According to all of the limited knowledge Dib had of this ship, everything looked good. He packed all of the food, water and clothes into the back of the ship. He also carefully packed away the pad that held the airtight suite in a reachable spot from the front. When everything looked in order, he had all of an hour left to get out into space. Grabbing what might be his last good-tasting meal for a long time, he addressed the computer. "So what's the proper procedure for shutting down this place anyhow?"

"You're leaving too, huh?" Dib sighed at the moody computer. "I'll shut down, just make sure to pick me up before you go. The Voot will be left outside for you. The coordinates are already set, just get the ship going. Good luck man."

"Okay, then I'll just be outside then." Dib walked awkwardly outside and waited. He watched in amazement as the house compacted back into the little drill he had placed in the ground a month earlier. He walked over, picked up the device and climbed into the Spittle-runner. It was smallish, definitely more-so than when he was twelve, but not uncomfortable. Dib studied the dash board. He saw what must be the coordinates to the worm hole and the path that was to be taken through the worm holes. He would have to make a cross over halfway through onto another worm hole, and had a lay over of about an hour between the second and third worm holes. But he should end up almost right on top of that massive ship their leaders drove...whatever it was called. It had only really had the chance to hear about it when both Zim and he had remote-control piloted the ship here. He chuckled for good old time's sake.

Okay, so, now to get this ship off the ground. He tried to read the Irken letters covering the dash board. After much deciphering, he poked the smallest bar on a scale. Dragging his finger up the low bars of the scale, he heard the engine rumble. Smiling to himself, he sharply dragged his finger all the way up the scale. He was not prepared for the sudden rocket-like lift off that threw him back into the seat. His scream could be heard across the city as he resembled a shooting star - at least three people making conceited wishes on his way out.

**Bwhahahahaha...ahem...**

**Whew, Dib's on his way! -manly announcer voice- But will he get there in time? Tune in next time to find out in Dooky Happens!**

**NOTICE: There will be/is a decent amount of gore in the next chapter!**


	6. The Battle is On

**\o/ Hope you all are at least somewhat enjoying this. I wouldn't know...because _some_ people aren't even _glancing_ at the review button. It's there for a reason people. Press the button at the end of this chapter! Do it!**

**One of the people who reviewed though, brought something to my attention: is this or is this not a ZADR story? Well...truth is, it is either a zadr or zadf. So: we are to have a VOTE! At the end of this chapter you are to send me a nice review and then a PM. In the PM you will tell me which you think would be better: ZADR or NO ZADR. **

**If ZADR wins, there will be _heavy hinting/an actual relationship_ in this story. (I don't do citrus.) If No ZADR wins then there will be _light hinting/just close brotherly friendship._ **

**But I kind of need to know for the next chapter -cough- So you've got until _June 11th!_** **Now Go Go GO!**

**But first: a disclaimer. I do not own Invader Zim nor do I plan to make any short of profit off this story. Buuuut if you guys _want_ to send me money...-cough- ah just go read the story.**

IZ Dooky Happens Ch. 6

The Battle is On.

The colors were mesmerizing and wonderful...at first. But when it's all around you for almost a month now, it burns in to your retinas and you can see the nauseating spinning colors even when you close your eyes. Dib had taken to sleeping as much as physically possible to not have to endure the worm hole more than necessary. It was boring! However, because he was sleeping most of the time, he was eating a lot less than he thought, thus his food was lasting longer than he had planned. That was a relief because he hadn't seen anything out here ever since he had entered this infernal tunnel of light. Ugh - he had such a headache.

A low beeping was coming from the console and near a blinking red light was a map of the worm hole he was currently in. It was coming to an end, and finally he was shot out into open space again. Stopping the ship, he set the new coordinates so the ship would be in the right spot when the next worm hole opened. Dib had to wait here for about an hour before the third and final wormhole opened. He was almost there, and he wouldn't have to suffer those blinding colors for too much longer. He reached back into his food supplies and grabbed a can of olives and the can opener.

Popping an olive into his mouth, he settled in and prepared to wait for his next worm hole adventure.

* * *

Zim let out a growl through his grin as he launched himself over the railing and into the Resisty mass on the lower deck. Zim's PAK sent out a signal straight to Tak's PAK and soon there was a massive Freight running through the Resisty ships outside the _Massive_. Before the Resisty knew was hit them there was a bloody mess inside and a mass of debris outside.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! THEY HAVE REINFORCEMENTS!" Lard Nar roared, frantic eyes scanning the growing mass of aliens trying to subdue the lone homicidal Irken. "KILL HIM! KILL HIM, KILL HIM, KILLL HIIIMMMM! HE'S ONLY ONE STINKIN' IRKEN!" He reached up to pull on his horns. Why? Everything was going so well!

* * *

Dib sighed as the he tried to fight off his lethargy. He needed to stay awake till this stupid worm hole opened; he only had about five minutes left. Yawning, he slouched lower in the seat. Uncomfortable, he sat up straight. Now feeling too proper, he slouched over letting his head lay on the controls. He jumped up when the dash made and angry noise and the ship lurched. _Stupid touch controls..._Dib ran a hand over his face and sighed again. Luckily, the worm hole chose this time to open.

Dib steered the Spittle-runner into the hole, got as comfortable as he could in the smallish space and closed his eyes in preparation for the horrible oncoming torrent of blinding colors. Only a few more days of this until he was there.

* * *

_Left. Right. Behind. _Zim's mind was working over-time. He had to hold out until the fleet Irkens arrive to assist him. At the same time, he had to work his way to his Tallests, Lard Nar might kill them because of the new attack.

He turned about, antennae alert and taking in even the smallest air changes around him, noting where enemies are and what weapons were coming at him. Spider legs blocked and stabbed almost on their own, everything was coming as second nature to Zim as he tore out throats, caved in heads, and made gaping holes in chests. His brain was on overdrive, identifying the enemy, figuring out their weak spot, and preforming the best attack possible even sometimes before the unfortunate soul had even realized they had been noticed. _Right, block, kick. _So focused he was, that his throat didn't register the strain from the terrifying growling scream that tore up out of the Irken's throat every once and awhile.

* * *

Tak received the signal and rigged the Freight to do mass damage to the Resisty ships. If they had men in them, it was a plus but the goal was to trap the scum here. They were all going down together, no one was escaping their fate.

Tak went to the mass of Irken soldiers lined and ready for battle. They had loaded waves onto the big ships, and at certain intervals new waves would be shipped to the _Massive _continually adding fresh Irkens to the fight against the tired Resisty.

"Zim is holding their attention and that Freight will destroy their possible escape ships! Let us go now and decimate them along with any possible hope for their cause!" She yelled out to the crowd. There was an outburst against her.

"With what? We are not equipped to go out! How does Zim expect us to fight appropriately without lasers and technology!" There was a murmur of uncertainty as others realized this point. Irkens for so long just vaporized and decimated, where they expected to fight like their inferior ancestors and get their hands dirty? Weren't they above such things?

"You blundering fool! Zim expects you to take out your claws and tear their throats out! Kick their skulls in! Use your spider legs. You do anything that can kill, you got that? NOW! For the Tallests! For the IRKEN EMPIRE!" She didn't give them time to contemplate this and there was a roar from the mass of living green as the gates opened and the pathway to the _Massive _was free to be crossed.

* * *

_Vortian - strong skull. Weak point: thin legs. _Zim's kick snapped the bones of the poor horned alien's legs. Zim quickly followed up by a knee to the stomach and a elbow to the back of the head, snapping the neck. Turning, he continued: _Plookesian - long reach. Weak point: encased head. _Zim punched through the helmet that kept the Plookesian's air; his specialized vapor leaking out. Zim spun away from the suffocating alien, tearing out a Screwhead's screw and driving it into the nearest Slaughtering Rat-Person's eye, instantly killing both. All the while his spider legs decapitated, stabbed, and gutted aliens left and right, protecting his back. Brutally stomping one Nar-Gh'ok into the floor while swiftly pulling the head off another (Man, did he hate these babies), Zim noted the first wave of Irkens flooding over the railing screaming bloody murder.

Smiling at the startled faces of the Irkens as they caught site of him surrounded by blood and gore, Zim turned to the direction of his Tallests, intent on forcing his way through. Finding that he was suddenly once again surrounded, Zim plastered his antennae flat to his head and ducked the giant sword that swung over. Kicking out his foot behind him, he forced the sword to continue it's path of motion straight into a Vortion's skull. Spinning up, Zim used a Nar-Gh'ok as a shield from a bullet and then threw the body at the holder of the gun, the acidic spittle that was leaking from the mouth burning through the other alien's flesh.

Antennae picking up an enemy behind him, he shot out two spider legs, catching the alien in the middle of his torso. Ripping the two legs apart, the alien was now two very dead pieces. To the side, a stupid alien ran up, eyes closed, hammer raised over his head. Zim jumped over the short alien, ripping the hammer from his hands. Landing, he turned and threw the hammer at the back of the alien who was then killed by his own weapon of choice.

Pivoting, Zim raked his claws across some unfortunate alien's eyes. Using the swinging momentum, he did a 360, bringing his leg up and landing his heel in the blinded aliens temple. Turning his hips sharply, he drove his heel - and the aliens head - into the ground. There was an impressive "crunch" and splatter combination.

Carving his way to his leaders, Zim chucked three vials from his belt into the middle of the group. The Resisty members that were trying to relocate the prisoners away from the rescue army lost control of their limbs and soon their vital organs because of the fierce concentration of poison deposited on them. Turning to the huge figure that was looming towards him, he threw a fourth vial directly at the hovering brain and watching in fascination at the thing literally melted. Focusing again on his leaders, he bent down to untie them, spiders legs hovering protectively around them ready for any sudden attacks.

"Zim, glad you could make it for once." Tallest Red chuckled. Zim grinned.

"Glad to be back."

"Jeez Zim, you're disgusting! Look at you: covered in gore!" Tallest Purple made a gagging noise. It was true, all the different colored alien blood and various life-goo was clinging to Zim. He was almost completely covered. As he moved towards Tallest Purple to untie and untangle his spider legs as well, the purple-eyed Irken inched away. "Ew ew ew ew! Don't come near me! You're gross!" Tallest Red scoffed and Zim mocked a hurt face.

"I'm an unstoppable death machine you know." Purple just grimaced at the comment from Zim. THAT was definitely true. He used to laugh at that comment from Zim, but seeing his actions here today, he was actually wary of the crazy Irken.

"Common Pur, we gotta get you untied so we can destroy these inferior beings. You won't be able to kill them like that." Red almost purred. He, for one, was dearly looking forward to caving heads in.

As Tallest Red and Zim untied Tallest Purple and the other Irkens, the no-longer-prisoners carved a new path back to where Zim had entered. While he was reluctant to leave the battle field, Zim wanted these Irkens to his medical bays safely behind planet Dirt to get checked out and recover a bit before they came back to continue fighting. He guided them back to the ships that drones were using to cart hurt Irkens to the medical bays and made sure that each Irken was situated before he and his Tallests turned to reenter the heat of the affray.

As the Resisty started losing hope seeing the Tallests saved, Zim sent the signal for the second wave to enter early. He would crush their hope, then their bodies and then their memory. No one will dare stand against the Irken Empire ever again once he was done.

Jumping over the railing once more, he landed on Drooly Blob of the Resisty and, purposefully grinding his feet into the floor, popped the alien beneath him. To say that it was satisfying was _still _an understatement. Seeing the horrid murder of his friend, Three-Headed Man - another main officer of the Resisty - charged through the aliens separating himself and the grinning Irken. Rational thought gone, Three-Headed Man was actually planning on ripping the green monster apart with his bare hands.

Hearing the war cry that carried over all the other din of the battle, Zim looked over to see a huge three-headed alien intent on his destruction. Turning away from the raging beast, Zim ran and used a fellow Irken as a boost. Jumping on the sturdy Irken's shoulders - being mindful of the PAK and head - he pushed off, using his new height and advanced flexibility to flip over Three-Headed Man. Landing behind him, Zim swung his leg around as realization struck Three-Headed Man. Zim's knee and shin hit the three-headed alien's mid-section as he turned to try and face the lithe Irken. Too quick for the bigger alien to defend, Zim turned and finished his circular pivot dragging the entire length of his boot along the flesh of the alien. The boot's upper metal plates caught and ripped away skin and the following plates dug into the newly exposed muscle and organs. While Three-Headed Man agonized over his guttedness, Zim pounced. Landing on the aliens broad shoulders, Zim's spider legs pierced into the body to secure a hold on his prey. Screeching, Zim clawed at the heads and the shoulders and anything he could reach.

Never before had Zim allowed himself such a release. His claws freely tore at the flesh and bones. His heart felt an elation that made the giddiness of controlling the battle suit and destroying half of Irk feel like depression. Zim felt as though he was satisfying a long neglected desire deep within his PAK. Lost in Zim's blood-lust, Three-Headed Man became a bloody torso with shoulders reduced to sinews and scraps of muscles that barley kept the arms attached. Now surely saturated in life-sustaining fluids, Zim tried to calm and to take deep breaths through his aching throat, he hadn't realized he had been laughing that entire time and now it was hard to stop.

When he had regained his breathing, he straightened from his hunched position. With a sickening pop each, the spider legs released the corpse. As it fell to the floor, Zim hopped lightly off the bloody shoulders, his metal shoes making light taps on the metal floor. Looking down at his shoes, he realized that he should not have heard that over the battle even with his enhanced hearing. Turning around slowly, he observed the hordes of eyes staring at him. Even his leaders had stopped their blood spilling to gawk at the horrifying spectacle Zim had made. Suddenly, many Resisty members lost whatever was in their various digestion organs, snapping Zim out of his daze.

A growl tearing up out of his abused throat, he snatched his laser out of it's holster and shot the head off the nearest Resisty.

"RETREAT! RETREAT NOW! NOW DAMNIT!" A yell echoed over the entire room and everyone snapped back into action. Resisty tried to follow their leader's orders and run far far away from the positively INSANE Irken while the Irkens lashed out at any Resisty member they could. Resisty started falling like rain at Irken's faster speed, the pelting of toxic chemicals and their lack of ships to get away with. It didn't help that this ship was made for specifically Irken use. The proportions and design of the rooms suited the mobility of Irkens better than any other type of alien fighting and it was showing now.

In the end, the battle lasted about two earth days and was resemblance of a horde of spiders slaughtering a group of flies that were already caught in a web. After the mass had dispersed, the Resisty that had gotten away were hiding within the halls of the _Massive, _sick and already half dead from the remnants of the poison. The Tallests had sent out groups given the task of hunting down these stranglers and cleansing the ships. Only the strongest and the stone-hearted were sent out. Leading them was Invader Zim, the strongest and hard-hearted of them all. The crazy Irken was found to be so cold-heart towards this task that he actually found great joy in it. For every Irken sent out there, it was a job. For Zim, it was a game.

Zim was like a hawk, and every Resisty that he came across was much like a worm in comparison. They squirmed and attempted a rather futile and pathetic escape out of sheer terror. All they knew is that if he caught them, they were brutally killed and frankly they were terrified.

* * *

Dib woke with a start...again. This seriously can't be good for his health.

The worm hole was ending and he literally cheered for joy. His water was running low and his food was slimming as well. Dib's ship was spat out and the first thing he knew was that he was flying straight towards a hunk of something that had been destroyed. Steering sharply to dodge the pieces of metal, Dib looked on in awe at the simply massive ship that he recognized. He assumed that it was also simply unforgettable and that at least made him positive that that was his destination.

With renewed vigor, he sped the ship up to reach the big red and pink ship that was surrounded by various other ships. He even recognized the big ones as some that had hovered over Earth when Zim had said farewell. Of course, what did he know? Those could be completely different ships and they just all happen to look the same.

Dib scoffed in disbelief. So far, all he had seen was probably every color in the universe swirling in every way possible, but he had not actually seen any sign of another race since he left Earth's atmosphere. This was solid proof. This right here was in need of photographing. He reached behind him and searched through his clothing bag. Then he thoroughly searched every cranny before he sagged in defeat. He had forgotten his fucking camera!

While looking in his bag in disbelief, Dib was suddenly thrown to the right of the ship. A piece of broken ship had hit his left side while he wasn't paying attention. Dib could have kicked himself for being so stupid but he didn't have time as he tried to control the spinning ship. Still flying towards the Irken Leader's ship at a surprising speed, he tried to slow down. An alarm was going off, but he couldn't read the Irken letters fast enough to find out what was wrong to even think about fixing it. Dib was starting to freak out now as he was getting dangerously close to this ship that was looking bigger and bigger by the second. Suddenly, straps sprang out of nowhere and wrapped themselves protectively around Dib's frame. Deciding to let the ship do what it was programmed to do, he sat tight and tried to prepare himself for whatever might happen. All he really could think of though, was how bad it would suck if he died right as he reached Zim again.

* * *

The huge crash sounded throughout the _Massive _and it caught the attention of every Irken on board. Tallest Red scanned the map to see where the crash was and where in correspondence the hunting Irken groups were. He called over to the leader of the group closest to the sight.

"Invader Naz! You are closest to the sight of impact. Report to the CAA-West Wing hallway. Proceed with caution." The Irken saluted and cut the transmission as Red went back to overlooking the information feeding in from all parts on the ship.

* * *

Invader Naz entered the CAA-West Wing hall to see an Irken Spittle-runner lodged in the side of the _Massive_. Approaching with caution, she held her laser at the ready, three drones doing likewise behind her. She paused when the cockpit opened, but continued to go forward. If there was an Irken in there, they may be in need of assistance.

All the Irken's present aimed and charged their lasers when a light skinned alien stumbled out of the ship. It was wearing a tight black suit and appeared to have one long antenna on top of it's head.

"Identify yourself!" The strange alien jumped at her voice and it's eyes widened. It started to speak but she couldn't understand what it was trying to say. When it took a step towards them, she fired a warning shot and yelled. "Stay right there! Identify yourself or die in the name of the Irken Empire. You are trespassing! This is an Irken only ship!"

The alien jumped when she fired and lay flat on the ground, shouting something else she couldn't understand. She suddenly caught some Irken words from the strange being.

"Wait...I-I be not..." there was much stuttering and pausing. This thing was obviously not Irken (or very fluent in Irken either). She should have killed him on sight. She pointed the gun directly at the thing's head and prepared to shoot.

* * *

Dib stumbled out of the Spittle-runner. He had managed to get the suit on after he had crashed and for that, he was thankful. Also for the fact that the ship seemed to have plugged the hole it made so there was no vacuum that was trying to suck him out into space.

He jumped when a strange voice yelled at him from down the hall. He turned to see a four short Irkens pointing guns at him. '_Oh shit._'

"Wait! I'm not here to fight. I want to help! Don't shoot!" He tried to take a friendly step forward only to flatten himself to the floor as the crazy Irken shot at him and started yelling something again. He tried furiously to understand, but it is surprising how much you forget when you're at gun point. He tried again.

"Please, I am not your enemy!" He racked his brain for any Irken. "Wait!" There we go, that was Irken. "I-I...be not..." He stumbled over his words. He really hoped that little bit wasn't offensive. When he saw that the Irkens were aiming straight for his head and the lasers were getting ready for another shot, he tried to think of anything - anything! - that they might understand. His heart was racing and he was sure he was shaking. The strange Irken narrowed her eyes and tightened her finger on the trigger. As a last effort, Dib yelled the only thing he could think of and hid his face under his arms, as if it was going to protect him.

"Zim!"

There was a lengthy pause. Dib looked up to the Irkens. The guns were still pointed at him, but they hadn't shot. That was a good start. The antenna were perked up towards him and there was what he guessed was a confused look on their faces. They shared a look between them and the one that appeared to be the leader questioned him almost skeptically.

"Zim?" Dib let lose a hopeful smile.

"Yes, Zim." He nodded. The Irkens looked amongst themselves again and then cautiously walked over towards him. When they had him surrounded, the leader gestured for him to get up and said something quick in Irken. Dib slowly got up and tensed when a gun was put to his back. He was pushed forward and lead through many halls. Eventually they came up upon more and more Irkens. All of them looked towards the group crossing the room and most looked like they were ready to kill Dib.

Dib stared back at all the Irkens. They all looked so much alike and yet they all looked different. He scanned the room, trying to pick out the one face he should know. They turned a corner and entered a room full of Irkens. The tallest one there had their back to the group, studying something on a screen, and Dib could not tell if this was the Irken he was looking for. Dib was suddenly and roughly pushed to his knees directly behind the tall Irken, the gun never leaving his back. Around him, the group dropped their antenna and their gazes low. The leader of Dib's little personal escorts addressed the obviously higher ranking Irken. He couldn't understand what was said but he did catch the one word that mattered. This Irken was addressed as Zim. How many Irkens could there be named Zim? Dib could feel an unrivaled happiness swell in his chest although it was almost unfounded. What if Zim decided to kill him? Yet, Zim was his only hope here and he had known that when he decided to come. His life really was entirely in Zim's hands.

This taller Irken, who Dib now believed to be Zim, sudden straightened his back when the shorter Irken stopped talking and slowly turned around. Dib was comforted to see a familiar face. This was his Irken, this was Zim.

The emotions that crossed Zim's face went in this order: surprise, anger (which he noticed had the other Irkens taking a step back), and then a twisted amusement. Dib wasn't sure if that was good or not.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't the Dib." Dib returned the big grin that Zim let loose.

**There it is folks. Remember: REVIEW and VOTE!**


	7. Minor Brain Surgery

**Okay, I'm back and sorry it took me so long AGAIN! My computer decided to keel over TWICE and I lost _everything.._.TWICE! I had 7 and 8 typed and ready, and now I don't. I sat down and just retyped this all in one go on this computer so I could post it.**

**I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY YOU, TECHNOLOGY!**

**-cough- okay, anywaaayyy~ Thank you for everyone who voted! I know exactly what the relationship will be in this story now.**

**And, no, I don't think I'll tell you the results of the vote. *w* Just keep reading and I'll try not to bore/disgust you. No guarantees though. -insert evil laugh-**

**Aussi, thank you once again, Illisandria Carthain, for being an awesome beta. **

**Disclaimer- Sadly, I don't own Invader Zim nor am I gaining any sort of profit off of this.**

IZ Dooky Happens Ch. 7

Minor Brain Surgery

The emotions that crossed Zim's face went in this order: surprise, anger (which he noticed had the other Irkens taking a step back), and then a twisted amusement. Dib wasn't sure if that was good or not.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't the Dib." Dib returned the big grin that Zim let loose.

Miffed at being ignored for the time being, the leader of the small group that had brought Dib here coughed lightly. Zim's grin faltered and his eyes flickered to her. Vaguely Dib noticed how it was strange that he could somewhat get an idea of where Zim was looking even though he had no pupils.

While Zim talked with the other Irken girl, obviously discussing something of importance by the tone of it, Dib let his mind wander. He observed the other Irkens. They were mostly short, averaging around three and a half feet, a little bit taller than Zim was when he first met him. However, Zim had grown. His eyes traced over the familiar Irken. He was about five feet now, but Tak had stayed short, he wondered why. Zim was certainly an interesting guy and Dib was always intrigued by his, well, everything - the way he talked, the way he moved, especially the way he perceived things, and yet - Dib actually didn't know that much about him.

As he looked in Zim's general direction he noticed something funny; all the other Irkens were wearing the same outfit that Zim had worn for all the years he had known him but Zim had changed his own outfit.

Dib eyed the boots - they surely looked both cool and deadly, the tips of the plates looked sharp enough to rip into skin. Dib's eyes trailed up - he was wearing the same type of tight black pants that looked like no one but Zim had the figure to pull them off. Speaking of figure, Dib's eyes trailed up Zim's leg, realizing that he could see much more leg than he could with the other outfit. Currently he couldn't stop staring, the pink cloth of the shirt was resting just on top of his hip bone and it was hypnotizing. Why couldn't he look away? Why couldn't he stop staring when Zim shifted his weight and the hem shifted a bit higher? Dib tried to rationalize this. It was just an average very lean, sleek and tantalizing hip. A joint. A very nice joint, but still just a joint...

He chalked it up to being scientific curiosity.

* * *

Zim was amused.

He had been talking to Invader Naz about what should be done with the Dib because while he was wearing Zim's cleaning suit, he couldn't fight in it. It wasn't made for that kind of use.

Zim chuckled - only Dib would gain the rank of hero among his race and then leave his planet to pursue his alien rival, showing up on a battle field in nothing but a suit with a use similar to an apron. Zim had to give him some credit for getting out here though...maybe he shouldn't have left him his base. He should have known Dib would be stupid.

It was during this talk that Zim's eyes occasionally flickered back to Dib. He was just sitting on the floor, the laser still to his back. Zim studied his face. He was looking almost bored but Dib's eyes were looking over at him but down low. Following Dib's line of sight, he saw that he must be looking at his boots. Well, they were quite amazing. He really tried to focus more of what Naz was saying to him.

Unable to help himself, he looked to Dib again. The boy was now looking a bit higher, and his face was set into a puzzled expression. He seemed to be considering something very carefully. Looking to himself again, he saw what was at about the height Dib was looking. Grinning, Zim changed his stance, shifting his weight, and jutted his hip out a bit farther. He watched in amusement as Dib's eye twitched as it followed the movement.

Sighing, Naz watched as she lost Zim's attention again. Whoever this creature was, it seemed that Zim really did know him. It was a really good thing after all that they didn't kill him. Zim might have been very sore about it. She tried grabbing Zim's attention again. "Invader Zim, please. What should we do with it?" He didn't even look at her as he answered.

"I'll take care of it. He can't be left alone. He'll destroy something or pick something apart if left to his own devices." Naz looked to the creature. It didn't _look _that dangerous or intelligent. It didn't even speak Irken! Zim seemed to be able to speak it's language though. It annoyed her that she couldn't understand either of them when Zim decided to converse with it.

"Dib." The boy didn't seem to hear the Mighty Zim, so infatuated with his hip he was. The insolence.

Zim smirked. He walked slowly closer to Dib and watched the boy's eyes follow the movement of his legs. He waved off the Irkens around the boy when they tried to warn him that this creature might be dangerous. If anyone knew that best about the boy and how dangerous he could be, it was Zim.

When he was standing right in front of the Dib and he had yet to notice, Zim crouched quickly, putting his face directly in front of Dib's. Zim couldn't help the chuckle that escaped when Dib jumped back, suddenly finding the alien close. "Dib...you were staring." Zim grinned evilly as the Dib blushed a little indignantly.

"You changed your outfit." Dib stated lamely. Zim hummed lightly.

"Yessss...and you seem to like it, no?" The poor Dib had nothing to say to that. Zim laughed as he stood back up. Addressing the drone behind Dib in Irken, Zim ordered the laser be put away. The Drone seemed hesitant, but he would rather face this creature in a fight than Zim.

When the gun was pulled away from his back and Zim looked down at him expectantly, Dib stood up. He was wary that all the Irkens tensed, but just ignored them like Zim did. Reaching his full height, Dib felt self-conscious, and like he was really tall, being surrounded by all these vertically challenged aliens. He decided to question Zim about it later.

He raised his eyebrow at Zim when the alien made a show of looking Dib up and down. Catching his look, Zim chuckled.

"Nice suit. Skin tight looks good on you Dibbeh." Zim winked and Dib blushed again. Crossing his arms to try and cover some of himself while not looking like he was trying to, Dib decided he should ask about that height thing now to change the subject.

"So...is all of your race this short, or all these young Irkens?" Zim looked confused for a moment.

"No, we have some tall Irkens. And what do you mean young?"

"Well, they're about the same height as you were when we were like ten." Dib shrugged. Zim had that damned amused look on again.

"You mean when _you _were ten." It was now Dib's turn to be confused. Zim outright laughed in his face this time. "Oh Dibbeh. You don't actually know how old I am, do you?" His tone was a mix of amused and pity. Dib's eyes widened.

"Wait, then how old _are _you?" Zim just shook his head and walked around Dib towards the door. Thinking on Zim's age, Dib tapped his chin lightly. Realizing that Zim was leaving without him shortly after, he ran to catch up. The Irkens in the room were watching him pointedly, and it was unnerving. He didn't want to be without Zim for now or else they might try to kill him. He should have guessed that the Irkens would be a hostile race, they _were _out for Universal Domination after all.

Zim was taking long, quickly paced strides across the room Dib had previously gone through. All the Irkens were still there, if not more of them. They looked to be cleaning up goo off the floor and doing repairs. The room was nearly packed and yet they squished together more to make plenty of room for Zim to pass. It was like a parting ocean and it had Dib wondering just how high ranking Zim actually was. He had always thought that he was lying when Zim boasted of being the best. He was really bad at conquering the Earth after all.

"Zim, wait up a minute!" Dib was trying to catch up, but his legs were slightly asleep from sitting on the floor in that room. "Zim! Wait!" Zim was outright ignoring him now. It annoyed Dib. Just because they were among his race now does not mean that Zim can act all high and mighty. As far as Dib was concerned, they were still equal rivals. Dib had almost caught up, and using a burst of irritation he lunged forward at Zim's back. His hands landed on either side of the upper PAK where Zim's shoulder blades were, and pushed the alien forward. Zim stumbled from the sudden shove and almost tripped. He froze after he steadied himself.

Dib blinked and looked around. The room had gone deathly quiet and every single pair of eyes was on them. He gulped. Maybe he shouldn't have done that. Looking back to the rigid figure of Zim, he tensed and waited.

Zim was almost not believing that Dib had the _nerve _do such a thing! He was Zim! How dare he push on his mighty shoulders. Clamping his mouth shut and balling his claws into a fist he spun around. Dib, despite having been at the ready, was shocked at the speed at which Zim spun around on his heels. It _had _been months since they had last fought at the least. Maybe Dib was getting rusty.

Rust or no rust, that upper cut to the gut had _hurt! _Dib doubled over Zim's fist which was embedded in his mid-section, gasping while trying to get back the air that had escaped. Zim was grinning next to his ear. His words were of normal volume, but in the stagnant silence everyone could hear, but only Dib could understand. "You'll never beat me Dib. " Dib grinned as well as he saw the irony.

"Maybe you're right. We'll always be at this stalemate." With that Dib loaded back his own fist and, as Zim's eye's widened, took a shot to his jaw. Zim's head snapped back but he was quick to recover. Retreating a couple of steps, he put some distance in between them. Zim stood straight as he held his jaw (Dib's punches were no where near as strong as an Irkens but they still stung). Dib tried to straighten up despite his definitely bruised tummy, and both glared at the other defiantly.

The scene stayed like that for almost a full minute. Everyone was frozen and only the sounds of the ship could be heard. Suddenly, breaking the trance, Zim's face split open into a full out grin. Dib tried to remain tough, but just couldn't because he realized just how funny the situation was. Breaking out into a booming laugh, Zim and Dib broke their stances and there was a tense moment of disbelief before a collect sigh rang through the crowd. Everyone had been so sure that the pinkish creature would be torn up and each individual part ground into the floor. It was unbelievable, the insane defect Zim had taken both a shove and a punch and without so much as a single limb being removed from the creature. Hell, he had ended up laughing like it was a friendly occurrence.

When Zim and Dib insides hurt from the force of their laughter they were grasping for breath, and Dib realized that they weren't laughing at the punches that had been thrown, they were laughing at the fact that this was how they showed that they kind of missed each other. Isn't it said that a friend will help you when you fall, but your best friend will be the one laughing at you after they've pushed you (or something like that)? Okay, Dib at least recognized the fact that he might be making stuff up, but it sounded nice.

* * *

After escaping the awkward silence and stares of the main masses, Zim had shown Dib how to get to the room he would be staying in and the cafeteria. Not that Dib remembered. Hell, he couldn't figure out anything in this ship. All the hallways were the same color and mostly the same shape. Plus, they all had been slightly - okay, mostly - demolished or banged up in some way from the battle.

Dib couldn't believe he had missed it! It looked like it had been a real rough fight. The Resisty must have been vicious, there were spots on the floor that were just coated in blood (or what he guessed was the equivalent of blood). The worst of it was in a strange shape though. It was almost linear and then there was one huge spot separate from the others.

All the way through the hallways, Irkens stared and whispered among themselves. Zim looked exceptionally displeased whenever they had passed Irkens, but whenever Dib shot him sidelong questioning glances Zim would only shrug and never slow his pace. In fact, Dib felt like he had been walking forever, where was Zim even taking him?

He found out soon enough as they entered a room that had cords running everywhere, all of different sizes and lengths. There was also many devices that made Dib nervous. It looked like a...like a experimentation lab. Dib shivered, maybe Zim just had a medical reason for being here, he might have gotten hurt in the battle after all. He actually did feel better after Zim approached a screen - he probably was here for himself.

Dib stood a little away from Zim, not wanting to hover over his shoulder despite how _damn _curious he was. Dib's eye twitched from the use of will-power as Zim typed away. Jumping and hurrying when Zim suddenly asked him to move over a bit, Dib didn't think about the fact he had just stepped over onto a slightly raised platform with a glowing circle on the ground at Zim's request. He surely realized his mistake when a clear tube started climbing towards the ceiling around him. Dib tried to get over the wall of the tube before it rose too high, but smaller, mechanical tubes from the ceiling stopped his escape. They wrapped an air mask around his mouth and nose while attaching patches to his temples. He would have ripped them out to continue his escape, but he was yet again thwarted by the machinery. Restraints came down in the form of rings, one lowering to his chest trapping his arms, and one lowering around his head making him unable to move much more than squirming his torso. Giving up, he started yelling at Zim.

"Zim! What the hell are you doing? Get me out of here! This isn't funny, you know!" Dib was both furious and worried. Zim chuckled.

"Oh but it is Dib. It is very funny." Zim gave a flip of his hand. "But alas, you have _nothing _to fear dear Dib. Minor brain surgery, nothing too big." With that, the tube reached the ceiling and a light purple goo started coming in through the floor. Dib hated goo, and he glared at the laughing Zim to let him know it.

As the level rose, so did Dib's panic. Until, that is, it reached the level of his heart. This goo was different, it made him feel sleepy, gradually he couldn't remember where he was or what he had been doing. Unconsciousness came suddenly.

* * *

Zim watched as Dib struggled and panicked quietly in the tube. He then watched as the boy got sleepy and slowly drifted into a comatose like state. Zim really supposed he could have told the Dib that he was simply doing an implant into his brain. But - figuring that the stupid human would have freaked out anyway, it was more fun this way.

When the tube was full of the medical goo, Zim turned back to the computer. Starting the procedure, the tube which encased Dib made a humming noise and the patches to his head glowed blue. Zim watched Dib's peaceful face for a moment before ripping his gaze away. He swiftly turned to the chair beside the computer and gave a huff as he sat.

Zim didn't know whether he was happy or not that Dib was here. On one hand, Dib could be seriously hurt as everything depended on that germ suit that Zim had made. It was made for germ war, not actual war. On the other hand, why should Zim care if the Dib got hurt. Despite not wanting to admit it, Zim already knew that the answer was that he wouldn't let anyone else kill the big-headed boy. He saw the Dib as his in a way that he knew he shouldn't.

In the end, Zim's thoughts came down to that he was glad the Dib was here. Ever since the Turg incident, the other Irkens were wary of him. But since the battle, most of the Irkens avoided him like a plague. It was nice to have the Dib take a shot back at him, sometimes Zim thought that _maybe_, just _maybe_, Dib had a more Irken attitude than an Irken.

Zim signed roughly and forced himself to relax into the chair, closing his eyes and wilting his antenna.

* * *

Dib woke up floating in the purple goo. He tried to open his eyes and immediately regretted it. Why did he have to have so many headaches lately?

When the pain passed - with a little help from the goo, he assumed - he opened his eyes. Looking around, he remembered what happened. That bastard Zim had tricked him. Something about minor brain...surgery...? Oh Shit! What had Zim done to his head! Oh when he got out of here, that alien scum was _so _dead! Speaking of the alien, Dib spotted him sitting in a chair next to the computer. At least he didn't leave him. Zim actually looked asleep, that is until Dib blinked. One moment, Zim had been slouching in the seat with eyes closed, the next he was sitting straight up staring at Dib. A grin crept up on onto Zim's face and he looked positively smug. Poking a button on the touch screen computer, the goo started draining into the floor. When Dib's feet touched the ground once again, the clear tube started receding back into the space it had come from. He was released from the restraints next and his head started to pound again. He held his temples and shut his eyes trying to block out the pain. Stumbling off the slightly raised platform, he would have fallen if not for the strong arms that caught him.

Opening his eyes, he saw just pink fabric, looking up, he saw Zim looking down at him with a raised brow and a smirk. Pulling back and pushing Zim at the same time, Dib gained some much needed personal space. Trying to deny the blush he glared at Zim who started chuckling.

"So, what did you even do to my head you jerk?" Dib changed the subject. Zim didn't lose the amused look.

"Oh, you know, just some upgrading." Zim flipped his hand. And Dib narrowed his eyes.

"Upgrading...?" Dib sounded purely skeptical.

"Yea, Naz informed me you were butchering our language and I wont have that. Congratulations, your stupid brain can now comprehend Irken." Zim gave a smug smile. Dib just gave a shocked and unbelieving look.

"That's not possible." Dib shook his head. It's true he could feel something there, he just didn't call on it afraid that it might be true that Zim actually _downloaded _a language into his brain.

"Dib," Zim switched to his native language. "you're in the flagship of an alien race that is far superior to your own. Brain work is but child's play."

Dib stared for a bit. He could tell that Zim had changed languages, but he had understood the once foreign rough and graceful sounds. Shaking his head, he decided that this could be useful. Digging into that foreign feeling in his head, he tried to speak.

"uhh...well, how do I sound?" To say he was hesitant was an understatement, but he really didn't want to sound stupid to the green alien. Zim's grin grew.

"Beautiful, Dib. Now lets go." Dib blinked, and Zim was already at the door when he jumped to not be left behind.

Going down the hallway was a whole new experience from last time. He could understand the whispers and that was the downside. Now he knew why Zim seemed upset but wouldn't say why.

"_Looks like Invader Zim got a new pet._" Dib tried to ignore them.

"_S__hhh! They say that he actually hit Zim and he didn't get torn __up._" Torn up? Why would Zim tear him up? Sure they were enemies, but exchanging shots was the norm for them.

"_He's the one that took on Zim? But he's not even Irken. In fact, he looks rather _weak." Dib really didn't appreciate that. Come on, he didn't look that weak, did he?

"_I hear it is Zim's new toy._" This comment had Zim stopping suddenly and Dib almost ran into his back. Zim was staring straight at the gossiping Irken that apparently had gone too far. Dib didn't see the problem, in fact, he figured that Zim would boast. He backed up a step as he heard Zim make a noise that he had never heard before. There was a clicking coming from his PAK and a strange hissing/growling combination coming from throat as he almost killed the poor Irken with his glare.

Said poor Irken looked like he was ready to press his self-destruction button. It was the most submissive position that Dib could picture an Irken making. All the other Irken's that were around the one being targeted suddenly found that they had something to do anywhere but here. Dib observed the scene and decided he better get involved before that Irken literally did die.

"Zim." Dib said it in a soft but strong tone and the Irken's gaze flicked to him as he stopped the strange noise. Giving the Irken one last warning look, Zim continued walking. Dib looked to the Irken after Zim carried on and he could have sworn the alien looked at him like a holy savior. Maybe he was, Zim seemed to scare these Irkens for some reason.

* * *

The pair soon came upon the cafeteria and Dib was almost dreading going in. Surely there would be Irken's here and it would most likely be awkward.

Zim had similar feelings, but he wouldn't show it. Calling the Dib a toy was a low shot for an Irken and Zim was sure that Dib could not stop him the next time it happened. The fool just didn't know what it had meant. Zim walked through the doorway as the doors parted for him. Dib followed suit only to be faced with another ocean of green antennaed heads.

**Now press the review button dangit! I'll take both compliments and flames alike - they're both helpful, really! Just give me your opinion.**


	8. Truths Told to Nonbelievers

**Coniine here again - I know, you're getting tired of me, right? Me too...me too. **

**So here's the new chapter (after some 'subtle' hints that I should update soon) and personally, I think it's cute. x3 Hopefully, I'll be updating more because I'm on summer vacation now.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim and I'm not making a profit off of this story, yadda yadda yadda, etc. **

**IZ Dooky****Happens Ch. 8**

Truths Told to Non-believers

Things Dib would never have done knowing what he knows now:

1. Thrown that muffin at Zim during lunch. It did little at all but give him a preview of an awesome life he would never live.

2. **Drank the last soda. - NEVER. AGAIN.**

3. Given Gaz pig senses. Really, when you think about it, it was mean of him to do and it ended horribly for him as well (namely, with his head in a filthy toilet used by a giant demon pig).

4. Walked into the main cafeteria of a Flagship belonging to a hostile alien species after everyone in that room had just finished fighting a battle against a slew of non-Irken species.

Walking into that room has to be one of the most awkward things he had ever done. Every pair of eyes focused in on him and his arch-rival, and all conversation stopped. Zim just ignored it, but the unnerving eyes followed them as Zim nearly dragged the Dib down the rows of tables to a bigger, nicer table at the other end of the room. Zim shoved Dib down into an empty chair next to the female Irken who had first brought Dib to Zim, and conversation slowly resumed in the large hall.

"Sit here, Dib-stink. Go and get your food —" Zim pointed to a buffet-style food arrangement not far from the table he was at, "- and come back here. Don't leave the room, and don't start a ruckus. I'll be back." With that, Zim turned and disappeared into a side hallway. Dib looked over to the Irken eating right beside him. Now that the tension had dissipated some, Dib studied her features. She was of medium height, not as small as most of the Irkens, but definitely not as tall as Zim. She had purple eyes, like Tak, only they were a lighter and softer purple. Her antenna curled (Dib assumed that the curled antenna signified females and the straighter antenna males). At least that made it easy, because unlike human females, if female Irkens had breasts, they weren't big enough to be noticeable.

"Uhh, Hi." He waved lamely and gave a shy smile. This was entirely awkward. The alien glanced over, unimpressed, but humored the fleshy thing.

"Hello." She returned to eating and Dib wrung his hands together quietly. He wasn't good at small talk, especially to an alien who had a laser to his head when they first met.

Looking over to the obviously uncomfortable thing, Naz sighed and decided to start a conversation out of pity. Picking the thing they had in common, she was actually curious when she asked her first question: "What's your relationship to the Commander?" The pale-pinkish alien first looked surprised, then confused.

"The Commander?" Naz studied the stranger.

"Yes, Invader Zim." There was recognition in his eyes.

"Oh, him. He came to my planet to conquer it. I was the only one to realize he was an alien. We fought a lot, so when he suddenly left I wasn't going to let him escape from me. You could say we're eternal rivals." Dib was smiling openly. Naz chuckled a little.

"You are both pretty close to be rivals." Dib's smile dropped and he blushed a bit.

"It's not that we're close. We just know each other inside and out in order to try and best the other." Naz stared at him.

"And yet you didn't know that he was the commander of this fleet." It wasn't a question, and it struck Dib as funny. She was right, he didn't know. Dib might have known about Zim on Earth, but Zim out here was like an entirely different person.

There was a moment of silence before Dib broke it. "Can you tell me about him, then?" Dib inquired. Naz turned her head sharply to the boy, giving him a pointed look. Dib backed down and took that as a 'no'. Returning his gaze to his hands, the silence stretched. This time it was broken by Naz.

"Irkens don't talk about Zim often." She looked away from Dib as he turned a curious glance towards her. Dib waited for her to continue.

"He's crazy.** Literally.** There's a defect in his PAK. It's common knowledge but nobody dares speak about it. He's actually the only defect that was **not **deactivated." Dib was stunned. He didn't exactly know what 'being deactivated' was, but it sure didn't sound good.

"And yet you're telling me this." Naz finally looked at Dib.

"Yes, he seems to like you." She flipped her hand and smirked a little. "In his own sadistic way of course; Zim never bothers with anyone as much as he has bothered with you." Something in Dib felt special knowing that. "Besides, if he goes off with you, maybe he won't come bothering us anymore." The Irken girl proceeded to laugh and Dib chuckled lightly.

"I know he is annoying, but he's not that bad. I'm sure with the technology here, he is amused long enough to not do damage." Dib smiled at the thought of Zim tucked away in a futuristic lab tinkering with mechanics and explosives. He was confused, however, when he returned his attention to the Irken girl and she looked almost horrified. "What?" Naz just shook her head.

"Technology plus Invader Zim is just bad. It's not a pretty sight." At this, Dib looked almost unbelieving.

"Oh, come on. What could he have done that was so bad?" Naz narrowed her eyes at her almost empty plate.

"He once created an energy-absorbing monster. It ate an infinite-energy producing machine that a co-scientist had produced. It grew to an enormous size and it...it-" She stuttered a bit, like she was dealing with overwhelming grief. "-it ate the late Almighty Tallest Miyuki and later, the late Almighty Tallest Spork." Naz closed her eyes as Dib looked on in shock - that was pretty bad. Naz opened her eyes and turned her almost angry gaze on Dib. "But that's not all. During Operation Impending Doom One, he stole a frontline battle mech and went on a rampage. He destroyed half our home planet." Her eyes softened. "But then look at what he does here." She gestured around to nothing in particular. "Invader Zim comes here and saves the whole race." She chuckled almost sadly as she swirled her fork about on her plate of half-eaten food. "No one could have won the battle like he did."

Dib watched her play with her food, both silent in thought. Zim had so many layers that he didn't know about. Now Dib really wished he could have seen that battle.

"Yeah. I saw the diagrams for the chemical he made. I didn't understand the formulas and all that, but it looked pretty epic." Dib grinned at the Irken girl. She smiled back.

"Truth be told, I'm not sure I would have been able to understand it either." After sharing a companionable laugh, Dib gave in to his curiosity and asked about the battle.

"I wasn't able to make it in time for the battle, was it a close call?" Naz scoffed at the question.

"Hardly. Invader Zim went in as a distraction alone. We all thought it was a suicide mission at first, but when we got there - and I was in the first wave so I saw it all first-hand - it was a massacre. He had already torn through a good sized group. The Commander got in, brought the Tallests away from harm, and got out without a scratch. Other Irkens died, sure, but it was nothing compared to what it would have been had Invader Zim not gone in first. Something tells me he knew that too." Dib was floored again, but then something struck him as funny.

"Wait, Zim left the battle after he got the Tallests out?" Naz barked out a laugh and shook her head.

"No way. He was back in the fray—Tallests as well— as soon as all the injured Irkens that had been on the _Massive _were on their way to the medical bays. In fact, the Commander took down one of the biggest threats single-handedly." Naz shuddered at the memory, and instantly Dib wanted to know.

"What happened?" Dib jumped on the topic like a fat man who heard the words 'delicious weenies', but Naz stood firm.

"Listen, it's not pretty-" the Irken girl started to explain when she was interrupted.

"He jumped up onto its shoulders, pierced his PAK legs into its torso so he wouldn't be thrown off, and proceeded to tear off chunks of skin and even rip off all three of its heads with his bare claws. And he laughed, the _entire _time." Neither Dib or Naz had noticed the second Irken come up behind them, but both tensed up and turned to face the newcomer with growing despair. Naz looked down to the ground to avoid meeting gazes, but Dib looked right into the stern eyes of Invader Tak. "If you are going to talk about Invader Zim to him, don't sugar-coat it, Invader Naz."

Said Irken winced a little guiltily, and Tak turned her attention to Dib.

"Invader Zim brutally maimed that alien. What does that make you think of him now, Dib?" Her eyes narrowed as she studied the boy's shocked eyes.

Dib pondered over the question. He couldn't picture it. He had fought Zim for years, and the worst that happened was that once when Zim started going mental on him about a year before he left. Could he picture it, but just didn't want to? Zim was certainly crazy enough...no. Zim was strong, but he had a nice streak. It was just hard to find that nice streak, but Dib had seen it before.

"He's still Zim. He's still my rival. I know him, and he must have had a reason. Zim's not cold-hearted." Tak's unwavering stare unnerved him, but he tried to look strong. "If you don't mind, Zim told me to eat something." With that, he stood and made his way over to the table with the supposed "food" on it.

* * *

Zim hated to leave the Dib without him in the middle of an Irken crowd, but he couldn't bring him for this meeting. Walking down the hall, he entered the special Café-wing that was specially designated for the Almighty Tallests. Entering through the sliding doors, he lowered his antenna in respect and addressed his leaders.

"My Tallests, Invader Zim reporting in." Standing straight by the entrance, Zim waited as both Tallests scarfed down doughnuts and slushies.

Seeing as his counterpart wasn't going to be bothered with acknowledging the Invader, Tallest Red licked the last crumb from his long fingers and gestured for Invader Zim to step forward. When he was standing next to the table, Red accepted the updates on the Resisty hideaways that Zim had pulled out of his PAK. The Tallest also decided to address the issue that he had heard floating on the waves of gossip.

"Invader Zim, it has come to our knowledge that an alien from the planet you were staying on has followed you here." Zim only nodded at this, keeping his face stoic. "I assume that you are taking responsibility for his actions then." It was not a question, but Zim nodded again anyway. "Invader Zim, it is a problem if this thing is going to cause interruptions in your work. As well as the fact that it might be a threat." Red's eyes narrowed.

"No Sir, the Dib is actually-" He was cut off by Purple.

"I say we throw him out the airlock! Just in case! That way it will be safe _and_ funny." Purple nodded to himself, sure of his logic.

"Please, my Tallests," Zim tried again. "The Dib, despite his appearance, is actually not entirely useless. We might be able to use his logic to our advantage. In the very least, he can help me think of places that the Resisty might be hiding. I will assume all responsibility for him and take care of all his needs - you will not even need to speak to him."

Tallest Purple just scoffed and resumed eating while Tallest Red paused to think about this. If Zim was so willing to care for this _thing_, then there must be something to this alien.

"Actually, Zim. Bring him to us later. I _would _like to speak to this '_Dib_' you seem to be so fond of." If anyone had looked close enough, they would have noticed Zim pale slightly.

"My Tallests, surely you don't want to waste your time-" Zim, for the second time today, was cut off.

"No, no, Zim. We insist." Zim took a moment to close his eyes and think this over.

"Very well, my Tallests. However, I ask that you give us time. The Dib will be needing to go through sleep and hygiene procedures very soon."

Tallest Purple sighed dramatically as if such things were a huge annoyance. "Fine fine, just send us a transmission as soon as he's ready." Purple waved him off. Zim bowed and started to back out of the room.

"Thank you, My Tallests." With that, Zim was out of the room and trying not to run back to the Dib. Zim was responsible for him now, and he didn't need Dib getting in to trouble just before he met the Tallests.

Reentering the main cafeteria, Zim's gaze shot to the table he had left Dib at. A bubble of worry bubbled up in the lowest pit of his squeedily-spooch when he only saw Invader Naz and Tak at the table. He scanned the room. Ah, there - by the food. Not only did the scythe hair stick out, Dib was fairly taller than most of the Irkens. Zim started his bee-line to the human.

* * *

Dib stared at the thing that was labeled as some sort of burrito. So far, the thing was winning the staring contest and that was what was unnerving Dib, should the thing be staring at him? He quickly took a side step to survey the _other _choices. Upon finding something that looked almost exactly like an Earth muffin, he put it on his plate.

Dib jumped when an arm snaked around his shoulder and snatched the muffin. Turning, he saw Zim, hand on his hip, while the other held the stolen pastry. Dib stared at him and, chuckling, Zim stepped up to the table and plucked a bag of vort-dogs up to replace where the muffin had been on Dib's plate. Dib eyed the slightly greasy looking, brown balls and then shot a questioning look at Zim. Zim only grinned and bit deeply into the muffin. Pulling the rest of the pastry away, he turned it to show the inside to Dib. There was a sizzling, bright pink ooze dribbling out.

Zim openly laughed at Dib's horrified expression and the noise gained them the room's attention once again. Luckily, it seemed the Irkens were getting used to the friendly air around Zim and Dib, and they didn't stare long. However, a cough behind Zim interrupted the moment. Zim turned to the source of the noise, humor still clearly on his face.

"Ah, Ratik, wasn't it?" Zim recognized the drone from the flight out here.

"Renik, sir." Zim made an 'oh' face before he took another bite from the muffin. "I was actually wondering if we could talk." Zim paused.

"Talk about what?" It was Renik's turn to pause. Truth be told, Renik hadn't planned farther than getting the courage to ask Invader Zim anything. "Talk" was just what came out—he hadn't a clue as to what they could talk about. He had to think fast.

"W-well," He stuttered. Renik then remembered the other being that Invader Zim had been previously laughing with. "Actually, i-it's not I-irken, I'm n-not sure you w-want to talk about ship d-data with it around." Zim swallowed the new bite of muffin he had taken and looked confused. Why would Renik think he cared what the Dib heard? Ship data wasn't all that important or secretive.

Dib, on the other hand, was a bit put off by being ignored — not to mention being called an 'it'. Stepping up to Zim's side, Dib made a stand for himself.

"'**It**' is right here and can understand you, thanks. Also, the name's Dib." Dib automatically didn't like this Irken, but he would at least try to be friendly, so he held out a hand. The small green alien just looked at it before returning his attention to Zim.

"Invader Zim, really, you should be up to date on the ship's data. If you would please just come with me for a little bit..." Renik trailed off. He really didn't want the commander with this other alien -they were too comfortable in each other's presence, and he might have even been a bit jealous with how open Invader Zim was interacting with it. The commander had remembered his name fine before this thing got here and now suddenly it arrives and the commander forgets about him.

Zim had actually not really listened past Dib not hearing about ship data. He was happily munching the muffin and had actually made a bit of a mess when he bit the middle. The filling had spilled around his teeth and now he was currently trying to lick up the creamy goodness that had dared try to escape to his cheek. When the Irken drone once again asked him something, he forgot about his quest and tried to look like he had heard what the drone had said.

Dib noticed that Zim obviously hadn't heard the other Irken, and also what had distracted him. Dib smirked at the dab of acidic pink that Zim had missed. The alien was so ridiculous. Not long ago, Dib was being told about how homicidal this Irken was, and now here he is seeing how cute Zim was. **WOAH! Wait!** Not cute. Guileless. Yeah, that's a better word.

Rolling his eyes, Dib lightly wrapped his fingers around Zim's wrist. Zim jumped and looked down at his arm like his whole limb was foreign because Dib was touching it. Guiding the hand up, Dib put one of Zim's fingers on the smudge of filling that had been forgotten. Dib then let go of Zim's hand completely and the Irken pulled his head back to look at his finger quizzically. Zim gave a squeak of triumph and popped the finger into his mouth -the last bit of filling having been successfully captured. Dib just smiled fondly and shook his head slightly.

Letting his gaze drift, it landed on the other Irken, and Dib could have sworn the little alien was trying to make his head burst into flames with his mind. Raising his eyebrow at the offending gaze caused the other to realize that their eyes had met, so the drone quickly averted his attention to the floor. Zim was oblivious to the tension, and was perfectly happy to just savor the faint taste of the muffin's innards before he remembered the necessities and the looming interrogation. Eyes suddenly popping open, he turned to Dib.

"I almost forgot. We need to get you clean and rested. It should be time for your body to sleep soon, yes?" Zim blinked; Dib blinked. Now that he mentioned it, Dib did feel a bit tired.

"Alright. Can I borrow a room or something?" Dib didn't actually know how the ship would accommodate him- he hadn't really thought about it in depth.

"I'm sure, but I am not allowed to let you wander." Zim tapped his chin in thought. "I don't have to rest for a while, so I guess you can just occupy my bed for a bit. As long as you don't soil it with your **hyuumman** germs." Now the green alien pointed an accusing finger at the human. "Yes, cleansing will definitely have to come first." It was more like that was said to himself rather than to Dib. Either way, it seemed that Renik was completely forgotten as Zim started walking away, grabbing the back of Dib's suit as he passed.

Still holding onto his vort-dogs, Dib stumbled and continued to walk backwards as Zim dragged him away. Renik was left standing by the buffet table, glaring at the disappearing duo. Dib didn't know why that particular Irken didn't like him, or why he had been so rude, but it seemed that they were in for a bit of a standoff. It's the principle of the thing— if this Irken wanted Dib away from Zim, of course Dib was going to be difficult (he didn't come all the way out here just to be cast aside).

Dib couldn't resist the urge to smile and wave — if it was a game that the Irken wanted to play, who was Dib to refuse?

**There ya have it. =] Now review and tell me what you thought. **


	9. Awkward Conversations

_**PLEASE BE PATIENT AND READ THE OPENING. IT'S GOOD FOR YOU:**_  
**Ello, Coniine again. I'm sorry I'm late...again. To start thing's off this round, I would just like that thank everyone who's reviewing and "tsk" at those who are not. Next I would actually like to answer some questions I got.**

**DeimosPhobos said:** _"Would Dib-stink's stomach be able to take Irken food?"_  
**My response:** To this, I would just like to say that the Irkens, unlike humans, have conquered many types of species with various eating habits and also ones with similar digestive systems to humans - like Vortians. Irkens, who are very advanced and adaptive, can eat many types of foods as long as they are actually edible and not mostly polluted water - unlike Earth cafeteria food. So yes, Dib's stomach can take some Irken food (not the muffin jelly!) because Irken food is a big mix of various types of food from the different cultures they have mixed with.

**GazmRules said**:_ "-great job MESSING UP AN ENTIRE STORY!-"_ ***skips a few lines*** _"-RUINED by ZADR! when will people relise (and i've said this countless times) ZADR IS A DISGRACE TO INVADER ZIM!-"_ ***skips*** _"-and to think i for once found a website that wasnt poisened by stuff that makes no sense and is messed up!-" _***skips more*** _"-you have a problem with that, then feel free to PM me. ZADR is like Dib's voice to Gaz. IT FILLS ME WITH A TERRIBLE RAGE!" _**(You get the idea.)**  
**My response**: I always appreciate my reader's opinions. Although I am distraught that you would insult not just me, but my readers as well by referring to something they appreciate as a disgrace. The purpose of fanfiction is for fans to take their favorite characters, write fancifully and to share it with other fans for their enjoyment. This does not mean it is for everyone. The point is, this is a fanfiction because it does not happen in the real story. There is plenty of ZADR and non-ZADR to be found on F.F. as well as the rest of the internet. I decided to write my story because I had an idea that I liked and wanted to share. If you can not find a fanfiction that you like, I suggest you either become more open to different ideas or write your own. I would be interested in seeing what you find an ideal storyline since you do not agree with mine. I thank you very much for your opinion. In the future, however, I do suggest using more amiable and grammatically proper language. Regardless of whether or not you were trying to be rude, these methods will make you appear more astute and less insulting. :)

**Kitsune Krazy (love you) said:** _"I dun know how to react to Dib meeting the tallest - they didn't get to be leaders of a race of galactic conquers cuz they be fluffy bunnies, now did they?"_  
**My response:** YES! Be afraid - even Zim is worried. They don't see just anybody without a reason. That's all I'm saying on this...  
**She also said:** "i_t never fails to strike me how ridiculously out of place and obvious those two r whenever they're together - stick out like sore thumbs much?"_  
**My response to this**: Irkens aren't used to open display of affection of any sort - not even really good friendship. It's odd to them. Especially since this is the insane, slightly homicidal Zim.

**Product Of A Sick Society said: **_"The staring burrito. XD Oh goodness, I want one."_  
**My response:** -gives you the Staring Burrito-

**Alright, -reads over that- whew that was long. Oh wait! one more!**  
**Thank you to Illisandria Carthain and rejectsuperstar for beta-ing this horrible thing :]**  
**And now: Thanks for your patience, and now on to the story! (After a short disclaimer.)**

**...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, any of it's characters or anything else. I'm not making a profit. You know this, yes? Good.**

* * *

IZ Dooky Happens Ch. 9  
Awkward Conversations

Dib walked back all the way to the ship he flew here, due to a certain green alien. Zim decided that they should get his stuff, so he was finally released so that he could carry his belongings. There wasn't much food or water left and, since Zim wouldn't touch the jug of water and insisted that the Irken equivalent would be satisfactory for Dib's needs, they only took the dry snacks and Dib's bag of clothes and bathroom utensils. From there, the duo walked back to Zim's room, ignoring the various Irkens in the halls.

Entering the room Dib realized it was big and comfy looking but didn't have much in it. There was a decent sized bed and a nightstand, but that was it. Zim noticed Dib eyeing the furniture and answered the unspoken question.

"Irkens don't spend time in their room like humans do, Dib. It's for necessity only, not for _"hanging out"_." Zim's air quotes and insertion of English in the Irken sentence made Dib snicker.

"You decorated _your_ room on Earth." Dib smirked at Zim who had bent down to shuffle through Dib's bag.

"_That_ was a more permanent-" Zim turned slowly to Dib, eyes narrowing and antennae lowering. "You were in _my bedroom_?" Dib's eyes widened and he raised his hands in defense, mouth open to stutter some sort of excuse, but Zim was suddenly distracted. Dib watched Zim's antennae perk up as his hand hit something within Dib's bag. Pulling out one of the lasers that Dib had brought, Zim scoffed in disbelief. "This is Zim's, yes?" Zim turned to Dib who only nodded. "Probably the smartest thing you did on this _stupid_ adventure of yours." Of course Dib would snoop and find his workshop. Frowning, Zim handed the thing to Dib. "You do know how to use it right? If so, you should know that it's useless if it's in your bag, Dib-thing. Bring it. Conceal it." Zim demanded. Now he had to focus on preparing the Dib. Standing, Zim pointed to a door on the other side of the room. "There's the bathroom. You know how to work the bath, correct?" Dib shrugged.

"Of course." With that, he snatched his bag from next to Zim and marched over to the bathroom to clean himself.

Upon entering the bathroom, Dib found both a big bath and a shower stall. Not knowing how to operate the shower he decided a bath would be more relaxing anyway. Turning on the faucet, he watched the thick pale purple liquid come out for a moment (Irken "water" was thicker than Earth water and, while it did feel very nice to bathe in, it felt more like a smoothie to drink. Granted, it didn't taste like anything but it didn't taste like water either).

Sighing, Dib thought of something. Yelling through the door, he asked Zim if it was okay to take off the suit. Receiving the muffled "yes" from the other side, Dib stripped and slid into the bath. He was about to grab his shampoo when the door slid open. Dib sunk into the water until just his head was out.

"Zim! What the _hell_? You know I'm in here!" Said intruding alien just looked at the Dib before scoffing.

"Yes, and-?" Dib blushed furiously.

"There _is_ a certain state of undress while in the bath, _Zim_!" At this, Zim laughed at the unfortunate human.

"I suppose there is, _Dib_. But, it's nothing I don't know about. I've read your books and been in your health class. I was supposed to be a _normal human boy_, after all."

"Just get **out**." Dib barked.

"No. It's my bathroom, and I need a shower." Zim crossed his arms and Dib gave an aggravated growl.

"Can't you wait till I'm finished?"

"I _do_ have things to do, Dib, and places to be. Now just turn around if you don't want to see me in 'a certain state of undress' and I will be quick and gone before you know it." Zim then proceeded to pull at his clothes and Dib spun around quickly, blood rushing to his cheeks.

Hearing the click of a door, Dib turned nervously to see that Zim had entered the shower stall, his clothes in a pile by the wall. Whatever material the walls of the shower were made of, it allowed Dib to see the green shadow of Zim's figure but nothing more. Dang, Zim was thin. Deciding to pretend he was alone, Dib turned back to the wall and scrubbed at his skin. The problem was, he could still hear the shower running and Zim moving around. Deciding to not give up, Dib spoke.

"Aren't there other bathrooms you could have used?" Zim made a humming noise before answering.

"Yes, but this is _my_ bathroom, why would I use the other ones?" Dib just rolled his eyes. "Besides, the other bathrooms are public to everyone, I didn't think you wanted to use them either." This was news to Dib.

"Everyone? What about girl and boy bathrooms?" Dib could hear Zim chuckle over the fall of the liquid.

"No such thing. Irkens may be classified as female and male, but there isn't actually any difference." Dib was shocked once again.

"Impossible, every species - even a freakish one like yours - has to be able to reproduce, and therefore females and males have to be physically different." Dib turned to look at Zim, although all he saw was that shadow of Zim through the stall wall that didn't tell him anything of the expression Zim wore. There was a pause and Dib vaguely wondered if this was an awkward topic to the Irken, but then there was another soft chuckle.

"Dib, you sure you want to pursue this type of conversation while we are both bathing?" The human could hear the smirk in Zim's voice. Dib blushed as he spun to face the wall again, deciding not to answer, and scrubbed furiously at his hair. There was a long silence marred only by the swishing of cleansing liquid before it was broken by Zim's voice. "We're genetically modified."

Dib let out an intelligent "huh?" before Zim continued.

"We're born in tubes on a planet called Maternia where our population numbers can be regulated. Our DNA is synthesized, and sex was not deemed necessary for survival. Irkens - _I_ - do not have reproductive organs." There was another long silence as Dib processed this information. He came to the lame conclusion that they really didn't need separate bathrooms then.

"Well...that's interesting." Dib's voice clearly showed that he was not sure what to make of this revelation. Zim just barked out a laugh.

"My, my, Dibbeh, you seem so disappointed~" Dib blanched.

"WHAT? NO!" Dib was blushing at the insinuation as he sunk deeper into the bath. Yet another silence stretched as his thoughts took on a darker light. Made in tubes...so no mother, father, or any type of family. "It sounds lonely." He hadn't realized he had spoken aloud until Zim replied.  
"How do you figure?" Dib heard a tap sound and turned to see that Zim had leaned against the shower wall, his PAK having bumped the wall. Green skin was clearer the closer it was to the blurred material.

"No family. Families usually support each other."

"Does yours?" The response was quick and came without hesitation while delivering much. Eventually Dib laughed sarcastically.

"If I want to study real science and be a mime, they would." Dib thought of his dad's wish to pass on his knowledge and his sister's wish that he would just shut up.

"You Earthlings are so vulnerable though. Your family is the closest to you, thus the easiest to hurt you. But I suppose you could see it as our Empire is our family. The Tallests can be the parents, and masses are the siblings - older and younger relative to height. It's big enough that we can't hurt each other yet still support each other."

"But do they? Support you, that is?" This time it was Dib who was quick to respond and Zim who hesitated.

"If I was anyone else, they would." Zim thought of the defect in his PAK that was entirely him and what the rest of his race entirely hated. Deciding enough was enough, Zim pushed off the wall to rise off a final time before finishing his shower.

"We're just both hopeless lonesomes then." Dib laughed with real mirth as he realized how screwed they actually were when it came to their social lives. He heard the shower turn off and kept his face to the wall as Zim came out. There was rustling of clothing behind him and the occasional drip, but otherwise everything was silent. The rustling stopped and Dib turned to face Zim. The green alien had put on the black pants and had a rather fluffy towel draped around his slim shoulders. Dib noticed the lack of belly button or anything else on the alien's front, aside from the definition of lean muscles.

"Please," Zim grinned as he rolled his eyes dramatically. "Don't put me on your level - I'm _far_ more advanced." Zim proceeded to laugh as he left the bathroom.

Sighing, Dib dunked his head under the surface. Coming up when he couldn't hold his breath any longer, Dib rinsed off and got out to dry himself.

After, Dib decided that he would put the suit on and then put clothes on _over_ it so it wasn't so skin tight. He chose a pair of simple straight-leg black jeans and a solid, dark blue, long-sleeve shirt. Coming out of the bathroom, he noticed Zim was just lying on the bed face down no more dressed than when he last saw him. The alien's antennae twitched when Dib came near, but Zim made no move to get up. Sitting down next to the Irken, Dib finally got around to eating the forgotten Vort-dogs.

They actually weren't that bad - a little chewy, but fairly good tasting. It only got better when they didn't seem to make him sick.

Dib thought on what he had learned from talking with that Irken - he thought he heard Tak call her Naz. Could Zim really be so vicious? He killed two of his leaders, but it was almost like an accident - it's not like he himself held the weapon that ended their lives, his creation just ate them. But during the battle...Dib sighed. Poking Zim in the back, the human got no response. Zim must have fallen asleep - did Irkens sleep like humans? It looked like it. Dib hummed, troubled by his thoughts. He almost wished that Zim was more open, maybe then they could talk about what Dib had heard. Sighing again, Dib decided that he needed to think aloud.

"Stupid space-boy." It turned almost affectionate. "So many rumors going on about you." Dib stared down at his hands as he distractedly twisted his fingers. "You know they say that you're defective." If he had been paying better attention, he would have noticed the body laying next to him stiffen. "I'm not sure what I should believe. But..." Dib was having trouble putting what he felt into words. "...but I think that it doesn't matter. I mean, it just means we're both crazy, right?" Dib chuckled as he fell back on the bed, hands behind his head. "Yeah..." The human gave a wide yawn and his voice became progressively softer as he couldn't resist the coming darkness. "You say that you're so much better than me, but I know you compare us too. It's shocking how similar we are. For me, I guess it's all the more reason that I'd still acknowledge you, even if you had killed your leaders and torn up that Resisty guy."

Sensitive receptors felt the air as it evened out around the human. When he was positive the boy had fallen asleep, Zim pushed himself up from the bed and studied the Dib. The green alien wasn't sure where the human gotten such information, but it was just like his annoying self to have somehow found out.

Zim ran a clawed hand over his head and smoothed his antennae down, eventually rubbing his neck as he sighed. He knew that the first thing he should have done was send the human home, but something tugged at him. It was _easier_ with the human; the itch in the recesses of his mind was less intense. It didn't feel like everyone around him was his enemy with Dib around - which was silly; the human was his _greatest_ enemy.

Zim growled lightly at himself for being so dependent on the stupid, fleshy Dib-beast. He hated how he didn't know what the Dib was to him. Everyone else was easy, they had a spot and Zim was certain of what their relationship was. The Tallests where his leaders, and while they didn't like him, Zim would always be loyal to them. The Irken race was his home, the only home he ever knew, but they weren't his friends. The Resisty were his prey. He could kill them without fear of repercussions and they were inferior to him. Earth was stupid. The Human race was stupid. Dib was...Zim had thought Dib was stupid, and his greatest rival. Now, Zim wasn't sure. Both of them had been the only one to recognize the other for a long time. Zim was almost...grateful? He wasn't sure, and he hated it.

He hated even more that he couldn't control himself more around Dib. In the shower he had teased him, but he hadn't thought beforehand (not like he would have anyway). The difference was where he would have teased the boy about melting his insides (without thinking), Zim was now joking with Dib about him secretly lusting after Zim (without thinking). It was unfathomable and he didn't know where it had come from. Irkens weren't supposed to be able to feel such luxuries, and Zim hated to think he had grown soft like the rest of his race. The air around them was smooth these days, there was no tension like back on Earth. How could they have such different attitudes towards each other just by being in a different situation?

Zim was distracted from his troubling thoughts when a transmission warning buzzed in his PAK.

* * *

He didn't know when he fell asleep, but seeming as he was waking up he must have drifted off at some point. Sitting up, he looked around. It seems he was on the bed. Dib grabbed his head - another headache. You would think that his brain would just be used to the pain it received by now. Dib was vaguely aware of some movement from the corner of the room; the person must have been alerted by his groan of pain.

When his vision didn't clear he realized his glasses were missing. Squinting, he tried to spot them abandoned on the bed while using his hands to try and feel for them. His hands eventually hit the nightstand and upon searching the top, he found his glasses neatly seated. Zim must have taken them off after he fell asleep. He placed them on his face and turned again to the source of the movement.

Gradually, the blob of green became Irken skin and the two blobs of red became a pair of glaring eyes. Dib was taken aback at the harsh gaze - he figured Zim would make fun of his sleeping habits somehow - but then he realized that this Irken was not Zim. He groaned again, but not from the headache.

"What are you doing here? Where's Zim?" Dib dropped his hand and just tried to ignore the dull thud of pain behind his eyes. The smaller Irken stood up from the chair that wasn't there before and walked over to Dib on the bed.

"Zim was called away to investigate some leftover Resisty members hiding away in parts of the ship. He asked for me to come and make sure that when you awoke you wouldn't get into trouble." Renik seated himself a respectable distance from Dib on the edge of the bed. Dib scoffed.

"I don't need to be babysat." At this, Renik blinked.

"We're not seating babies upon you." Dib realized that must have been a weird use of words to Irkens even in their own language.

"I know, it's just...ah, never mind." Giving up, Dib just leaned over and held his head in his hands. There was an awkward silence that stretched between them, and Dib tried to ignore the thought that silences with Zim were easier.

"I actually wanted to talk to you." Renik broke the awkward silence with an awkward statement. The drone was looking down at his kicking feet that didn't quite reach the ground. Dib lifted his head to acknowledge what the Irken said. "Well, it's just...I'm sorry I was rude to you, but I was just..." Renik sighed and Dib picked his head up farther to look at the Irken. "You get along well with Invader Zim." Renik finished lamely and Dib just sighed.

"Why do you all say that? We don't get along that well." Renik looked up to Dib with a questioning glance at this. "Zim and I aren't even friends really."

"But you are so open with each other. You even use his name casually. Irkens here couldn't get away with that - unless you are the Tallests." Dib raised his eyebrows.

"You mean that's why everyone calls him "Invader Zim" or "The Commander"?" Renik nodded at Dib's question.

"He has a high rank now, and since we're in battle everyone has to be more formal. He usually enforces it, but not with you." Renik almost sounded bitter. "Honestly, I thought that you two were together."

"Together? Like...going out?" Dib sputtered and Renik stared at him like he had just sprouted a new head.

"You use really strange wordings. 'Together' has nothing to do with 'going out'. What does going outside have to do with anything?" Dib's palm had a strange sudden attraction to his forehead. "I meant simply that I thought you two might be in love." The urge to smack his forehead was gone, and the need to shove his head under the bed came full force.

"We're not in love." Dib stared at his feet and willed his blush down. Renik's suspicion was covered in a layer of happiness.

"You don't love him?" Dib lost the battle with the blush. At least now he knew why this Irken didn't like him, he was just jealous because of a misunderstanding. But, this was fixable - there was a chance to be on friendly grounds yet.

"No. I don't." Dib ran a hand through his hair, the unbeatable scythe popping up again, and had a serious moment of thought before he spoke again. "He doesn't need someone to love him."

Renik's face faulted and he frowned. It was a sudden deja vu moment going back to his talk with Tak: _Tak smirked and put her hand on Renik's shoulder. "But you care for him, right?" Renik's eyes widened, but eventually he nodded slightly. "Then don't show it. He doesn't want you to be distracted. If you want to help him, don't love him. Just be an Irken, that's all he wants from you." _He was brought back to the present when Dib sighed.

"Then what are you to him?" Renik's serious voice made Dib pause. What was he to Zim? He thought about their relationship on Earth. They fought, they worked together when Earth needed them (and when it wasn't Zim's doing). They picked on each other during school. They even spent some days just acknowledging the other - just to reassure that someone in the universe knew they existed. Next Dib thought about their relationship here. They joked more, they laughed. All in all, they were each other's equal. They seemed to be whatever the other needed them to be to fill the void.

"I'm whatever he wants me to be. Whatever he needs at the time and can't find elsewhere." Dib turned his serious gaze on Renik and the Irken was taken aback. "On Earth, he needed a rival. He needed someone to know that he existed - someone he could fight against. Here, it seems I've fallen into the position of friend." Renik did not like this conversation anymore. Renik stood up from the bed to defend his position.

"He has friends here - I'm his friend! He doesn't need you." 'What the hell is with that mood swing?' Dib almost growled. Standing as well, Dib loomed over the small Irken.

"From what I've seen, no one here is his friend. Everyone's afraid of him! I've seen the Irkens part like he's a plague. He punches me, I punch him back - can you do that for him?" Dib's voice was low and loud at the same time. He was much too tired and had too bad a headache for this shit.  
Renik's eyes grew big. Dib was taller than he remembered and it was ingrained to be subject to the taller. He knew that the human was right - he couldn't have punched Zim back. He tried to think of something to defend himself.

"Irkens don't need that kind of pointless thing! Especially from a non-Irken!" Renik bared his teeth. Dib gave a heated sigh of frustration.

"Don't give me that shit! What are you trying to be, then, if both of you Irkens supposedly don't need that type of thing? Everyone needs someone! You can try and get rid of me all you want, but it's not going to work! I'm going to be there for him when he needs me and if that's as a rival, a friend or a lover, then so be it! I can help him, we need each other, and if you're against it, then you're just a selfish prat!"

The Irken Drone looked like he might burst into tears at any given moment, but Dib refused to feel sorry. Renik then fled. Running out the door, he collided with another body - the other's hands on his shoulders steadying him after the run-in with the chest connected to those arms. Looking up through blurry vision, he met Zim's eyes. Quickly ducking out from under his hands and dashing around the tall Irken, Renik disappeared down the hallway. Zim made no move to stop him.

In the silence that followed, Dib was hit with the depth of his words. It was a dull thud against his pounding headache, but it still dawned on him just what he had said and how deeply he had actually dug into the truth. Never mind on the possibility of "friendly grounds" with _that_ Irken. Groaning, Dib just pushed it to the back of his brain to where he could ponder it later and flopped back onto the bed.

Zim finally fully entered the doorway. He had stayed silent as Dib stood thinking - not moving until Dib seemed to make a decision and fell back. He had heard the argument, but he had yet come to a full conclusion of what Dib had meant (it seemed the human was more impulsive when stressed). He would think on it more deeply later, but the time has come for Dib to be brought before his leaders.

Walking over to the human, Zim poked lightly at his forehead. Dib groaned loudly and threw his hand over his eyes, pushing Zim's offending finger away. Smirking slightly, Zim ejected a pain killer from his PAK. Seemingly, from his research, it should be compatible with the human body.

Stabbing the syringe into Dib's neck and injecting the serum, Zim had to jump back to not be kicked by the Dib's defensive lash.

Dib shot up, holding his neck. Panicked eyes staring wide at a smiling Zim, who was holding a syringe. "What the hell, Zim!" Pulling away his hand from his neck to look at it, he could see a spot of blood mixed with a yellow goo. Putting pressure back on the sore spot, he stared at the insane alien.

"How's your head now?" Zim just kept his smile up and cocked his head to side, antenna perking up. Dib paused. He hadn't noticed in his panic that his head didn't burst from jumping up.

"It's...better. What did you shoot me with anyway?" Dib finally lowered his hand and got up from the bed.

"Pain killers. Don't worry, it's the same stuff I use on myself. No bad side effects." Zim waved his hand in the air as if physically dispelling all doubts.

"Oh. Well." Dib blinked. "How was hunting?" Dib referred to the hiding Resisty in the ship.

"Fruitless." Zim's eyes narrowed. There had been sightings and a chase, but they hadn't been able to catch them. Whoever was left was crafty and dangerous.

"You'll get them next time." Dib gave Zim a cheeky smirk. Zim only nodded as he studied the human, noting slightly how the Dib's boldness might not go over well with his leaders.

Misinterpreting the piercing stare, Dib became self-conscious over his possibly-overheard conversation with Renik.

"Listen, Zim, about that conversation-" Zim cut off Dib with a raise of his hand.

"I heard it all, Dib, " Zim looked away. "-and it doesn't matter. I don't care to analyze our strange enemy-friend relationship, just go with it. Whether or not you know why or how the stars came to be does not change the fact they are there." Dib was stunned by the slightly poetic drabble Zim posed, but didn't question it.

Zim just tapped his fingers to his chin as his train of thought was long-gone from the world of luxuries, but rather deep in the ocean of survival. He turned to Dib's belongings that were still seated in the corner. "Do you have any Earth snacks with you that are particularly sugary, by chance?"

Dib raised an eyebrow at Zim and moved over to the food box. After shuffling through it for a bit, Dib pulled out a full box of Cookie Crisp Cereal and handed it to Zim who eyed it with excitement.

"Why do you need it?" Dib eyed Zim's gleeful face.

"Oh, _I_ don't need it, Dib. _You_ are the one who will need this to save your life." Zim's grin grew to an uncomfortable size as Dib started to panic inside. "My Tallests have asked to have an audience with you."

Dib's eyes popped open. _The Tallests..._

"**_WHAT?_**"

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**HAHAHA! Well, that was fun. NOW REVIEW OR BE EATEN BY CAULIFLOWER!**


	10. Martyrs

Key:  
Normal Text = Irken  
_Italics_ = Stressed  
**Bold** = Extra Stressed :P  
Underline = English

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**I'm sorry I took so long to update. ^^; I'm not dead yet, sorry. Annddd...I don't feel like doing an opening so just accept the disclaimer, read the chapter and be happy. **

**(Also a quick Thank You to Illisandria Carthain for beta-ing. :3) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim nor am I making a profit off of this.**

IZ Dooky Happens Ch. 10

Martyrs

Lard Nar cringed as he stopped to rest against the wall of the abandoned hallway. He held the stump of his arm and set about wrapping the bloodied bandage tighter.

Whatever shit those fucking Irkens had let loose on them, it was devastating. The Resisty had dropped like flies, unable to move, and then slowly succumbed to the poison. Lard Nar had taken measures to protect himself from the toxin - like putting up the helmet to his spacesuit, but the tear on its arm had failed to shield him. Lard Nar felt the numbness climbing his limb and it terrified him. It was like the cold fingers of death were literally inside his muscles - ripping his control from them. In an act of desperation, the leader of the Resisty had severed his own left arm to stop the poison after the retreat.

Lard Nar did not want to dwell on what exactly had made them retreat. But it was safe to say that Invader Zim was now their biggest threat. What the rebel leader didn't understand though, was that Zim was supposed to be banished. The Tallests hadn't even contacted him in years and- suddenly, a memory of the few minutes that they had lost control over the transmissions stood out. _What if..._ this was not fair! Zim was supposed to be an outcast, not a commander. This was suppose to be their victory, not the Irkens'. Damn it all. Lard Nar hit the wall with his remaining hand in frustration. They had overlooked one Irken, _one stinkin' Irken_, and it was going to be their downfall.

Just then, a shot rang out. Looking up, Lard Nar saw a blur shoot past him and the embodiment of everything he hated rounding the corner. Shit! Lard Nar used his uncontrollable fear of that particular Irken to forget his aching everything and race after the blur. He could hear shouts behind him as other Irkens followed their leader.

"Cut them off! Shut the doors ahead!" True to the order, the large emergency doors (that were spaced out in the halls for situations like air leaks) in front of both the escapees started to shut. It was going to be a close call, but if they picked it up a notch, they might make it. Calling forth energy Lard Nar knew he shouldn't be able to muster, he lunged and slid through the last of the space before the doors snapped shut dangerously close to his feet. He could hear the pounding on the other side of one extremely angry predator denied his prey. There was a final angry boom that left a bulge the size of a fist in the door. Lard Nar stared at it like it might eat him. Never had he been so relieved that he was behind a locked door. He listened to the muffled voices as he tried to regain his ability to breath.

"Open the doors!" An unknown Irken shouted but he was contradicted by a higher authority.

"No." This voice was the closest to the door.

"But- Invader Zim- ..." The other voice stuttered.

"Leave it. We'll come after them later, but you're all tired and I have a meeting with the Tallests soon. We'll meet outside the Hall in a few hours and we'll resume the chase then." The voice receded with metallic footsteps as what had to be the scariest Irken ever walked away.

"Oh my, Lard Nar?" The gasp made the Vortian turn to the alien who had also been running.

"Cloaky?" The alien in question was one of the original Resisty members. It was always assumed that she was female but the purple cloak she wore always left it questionable. Her face shrouded in darkness left only her white, pupil-less, glowing eyes visible. The girl helped him up, careful of his arm, and let the leader lean his weight on her.

Both felt the toll of out-running Zim and his goons as they stumbled down the only hallway open to them. Cloaky knew they needed to get back to the abandoned closet they had made their temporary hide-out. Ironically, it was near the old prison. However, Irkens didn't take prisoners and so it was underused.

It took awhile to reach it, but when they did it was a huge relief. They had had to hide only a few times. It seemed that the Irkens were gathering somewhere. There were whispers of a meeting between some alien and the Tallests. It was unnerving - Lard Nar hoped it wasn't one of his off to be publicly tortured. Then he sighed, an alien that wasn't Irken was almost definitely Resisty here, and they wouldn't be brought before their Leaders if not for sick entertainment. Whoever it was, he were a goner for sure and the only way to be sure they didn't join him was for them to find a way off of this god-forsaken ship.

When Cloaky helped Lard Nar situate himself on an overturned bucket, it was only himself and the girl. The robed alien gave him some food scraps they had managed to gather and some Irken water. While he fed and hydrated himself, another person walked in. Lard Nar recognized him as a good fighter that had joined their ranks rather early on as well. He was green skinned (thought slightly more yellow than Irken skin) and had a horn coming out his chin. His four legs clicked against the floor as he crossed the threshold.

As each Goatee Bug's ommatidia in his compound eyes scanned for threats, he was exceptionally relieved to find his leader. If he was okay, then the Resisty might have a chance to be reborn. "Ah, Lard Nar, it's nice to see you alive." Goatee Bug nodded in his leader's direction. Said leader smiled a bit in return.

"You as well, G.B. Are they're any other survivors?" Lard Nar only hoped there were more, although his gut whispered that it was impossible. True to his psychic intestines, Goatee Bug's smile faltered.

"I'm sorry." There was a moment of respectful silence for the fallen before conversation resumed. "Cloaky, how was your scout?" Goatee Bug had a few questions and suspicions he had to confirm.

"No good. I can't find any other survivors of the Resisty. I've found bodies, but they were either shot by Zim or taken down by that poison. There weren't many Irkens running around though, until one saw me. Then I had to just run - they sent Invader Zim after me." Goatee Bug took a moment to shudder at the name and give a quick thanks for Cloaky being able to get away before he asked his next question.

"But, there weren't a lot of Irkens around anywhere else, right? Also, Zim wasn't on the prowl before that - he had to be sent for, right?" Cloaky nodded.

"I guess. There weren't a lot of Irkens and it did take Zim a bit before he found me. There was also almost no one on our way back. Zim said something about going to see the Tallests as well."

"It was the same for me. No one's in the halls. Plus, there's been whisperings about a meeting. Maybe it's a big meeting for everyone. If they're all gathering, this could be our chance. The Tallests are going to be there, this is the first time we know before hand where they are going to be."

Lard Nar stared at Goatee Bug - was he serious? "Are you planning to attack? Don't be ridiculous. You'll die."

"But I'll take the Tallests down with me. I can't sit here in this hole and do nothing! There's no one left - they're dead! If we can just take down their leaders, then we can show everyone that the Resisty was strong and build hope and more resistance in the other races as well. We can plan for future rebels to continue our work." Lard Nar knew that this was a fool's venture.

"What makes you think you can just assassinate the Tallests? That room will be filled with Irkens - all of which are highly capable of tearing you apart. It's like walking into a room full of guards."

"You just don't get it Lard Nar, it's not about surviving. It's about taking down the Tallests." Lard Nar just shook his head at Goatee Bug's claim.

"You will die for nothing. They will instate a new Tallest and keep the cause of death for the previous under the wraps."

"We fail once and you're all washed up?" Goatee Bug didn't understand why the leader wasn't behind him on this one hundred percent.

"We failed twice." Lard Nar corrected.

"Fine! Then sit here, let the poison eat away at you." Goatee Bug gestured to the stump of an arm. "Die here in this hole for all I care. I'm finishing this thing. I'm willing to die for my cause."

"You think I wasn't?" The underlying accusation and threat in that sentence stopped Goatee Bug short. "I wont stop you from going off to be a martyr, I just want you to know that it was great fighting along side you. When I get off this ship, I'll tell stories of how great and courageous you and the Resisty were." Instead of responding, the buggy alien just turned and stormed out the door.

Lard Nar just sighed and closed his eyes.

"Lard Nar- ...I-..." Cloaky stuttered and looked from the leader to the door. "I can't just die here. I think he's got a point. It's better to die for your cause than for nothing. We dedicated our lives to this the moment we signed on, and I've got to complete that." She moved the rest of the Irken water and food scraps closer to Lard Nar before going after Goatee Bug.

Lard Nar sighed again as the door closed. He vaguely made a mental note to replace his bandage and find a small ship later as he drifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh-" Zim tried to ignore the constant English swearing and pacing that Dib had reduced to. Currently, he was failing.

"Dib-stink! Calm down. You cannot meet them like this. You've even reduced yourself to English." Zim almost shoved the boy to get him to stop pacing. Dib actually stopped to blink and fiddle with the old ratty backpack he had brought. It held the box of cereal and even the oozing knife he had brought with him. The twin lasers were tucked in the top of the back of his pants, under his shirt for easy future access and concealment in the meantime.

"Listen, Zim. Why do they even want to meet me? I'm nothing important to them." Zim gave up and joined Dib in the English worrying.

"I really don't know, Dib. All they said was that they would like to meet you." Zim himself was confused, his leaders just didn't do this. "However, what you do reflects on me so stop _pacing_!" Dib quickly went still. "Good. Now, I'm going to show you how to be an Irken while we wait." Zim nodded like a rightful, selfless hero.

Currently, they were in a hallway just off of The Hall. Usually, it's where they held gatherings and the controls for the Organic Sweep laser that the Invader got to fire first after finishing his mission. However, today they were just using the balcony to meet with the Tallests. The door to said balcony was what they were behind at the moment. Because no one else was to be going up there, they were alone and free to practice Dib's skills at addressing leaders.

"First, let's switch back to Irken for you to practice. I don't want you suddenly switching and disgracing my leaders presence with your foul Earth language." Dib just stuck his tongue out at Zim in response and the green alien narrowed his eyes. "Second, I will be introducing you to them. When I do so, you must bow. Try it."

Feeling a little silly, Dib bowed, bending over his head and shoulders. For his efforts, Zim slapped the back of his head. "Lower. Bend at the waist." Zim poked his hip bone and Dib jumped away a bit. Finally bowing at the waist, Dib added a bit of dramatic flare. He stood up and chuckled. Zim didn't see the joke. "That was actually good." Dib just rolled his eyes. '_Of course_.' "Now: walk."

"What?" Dib raised an eyebrow at Zim.

"Don't question me, Human! Walk down the hallway." And so Dib proceeded, Zim following and making various corrections. The human's shoulders were pushed back, his back straightened, his chin pushed up and his hands clasped behind his back so they weren't "swinging loose like some pair of stupid hair noodles" as Zim said.

"You want to look respectable, Dib. We don't want to practically _ask _them to push you around too much by your utterly weak demeanor, but don't look too intimidating or else they _will _assert their superiority on you." Zim, in all his seriousness, made Dib a little worried. "There, now walk back."

And so it was that Zim paraded Dib up and down that small hallway, critiquing and interrogating until they were called upon. Zim was satisfied that they could get past at least first impressions without blood spilt but after that, it was all up in the air.

The drone that had called to them from the door bowed to Zim like Dib had just been practicing and addressed the Irken - completely ignoring Dib.

"Invader Zim, the Tallests can see you now." Zim nodded curtly and the drone scurried back inside the door way and Zim marched forward. The Invader insignificantly wondered why they had to wait for so long - surely the Tallests hadn't been busy, they had asked him to come at this time when he had called.

Entering the balcony fully, Zim almost faltered. It took all his self control to act normal as he saw the ocean of red eyes on them. It seems that time waiting was spent filtering in the audience that w_asn't supposed to be there. _Zim growled in his mind.

He bowed deeply to his leaders who were hovering near the railing. Dib, having come in after Zim, did hesitate. He had been under the impression that this would be a more...private meeting. Plus, Zim had failed to mention exactly how tall these Irkens were. With them reaching about seven feet, Dib was thoroughly intimidated. He finally bowed deeply when Zim coughed into his hand.

Standing up fully and striding closer to his Tallests, he voiced his question in a low voice. "My Tallests, I'm afraid we've come at the wrong time? You seem to be in the middle of an assembly." Zim kept his eyes and antenna down despite his urge to yell his defiance to such a meeting.

"Oh no, you are correct on the timing. We've just made this a bit more public of an event. Surely you and your _Dib _are okay with this." Tallest Red smirked and gestured to the crowd as Dib shivered at the strange rolling of his name on the Irken tongue.

Zim narrowed his eyes slightly as he bowed again, opting not to say anything. His Tallests where up to something and it did not bode well.

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**Sorry, kind of short. Hope that at least satisfied =]**

**Now please take a few seconds to fill out a review! It's much appreciated. **


	11. Chat with Fluffy Bunnies

**Wooooo~ Okay, peeps, here's the new chapter. But I should warn you I do refer to information mentioned in the unfinished episode The Trial, and it might be handy for you have read the script of it before you read this (although you don't actually need it to understand). It can be found online if you google it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or any of its characters. I am not making a profit off of this and the views expressed in this story on the Irken PAK and society are not necessarily shared with the original creator - Jhonen Vasquez - and are my own personal opinions and takes on the race. Thank you.**

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Key:  
Normal Text = Irken  
_Italics_ = Stressed  
**Bold** = Extra Stressed :P  
Underline = English

* * *

Chat with Fluffy Bunnies

"Oh no, you are correct on the timing. We've just made this a bit more public of an event. Surely you and your _Dib_ are okay with this." Tallest Red smirked and gestured to the crowd.

Zim narrowed his eyes slightly as he bowed again, opting not to say anything. He straightened and was about to begin the formalities when he was interrupted by a suddenly curious Tallest.

"Hey, hey! HEY! Zim, where's your SIR unit...GIR was it?" There was a moment of silence after Tallest Purple's outburst. Zim opened his mouth and he blinked while taking a breath to answer.

"Please. Purple, now is not the time for that." Tallest Red shook his head at his co-leader and gestured for Zim to continue with his previous duties unhindered. Invader Zim cast a glance at Dib, who just shrugged, and let his breath out before taking in new air.

"My Tallests, I, Invader Zim of Irk, would like to present to you the Dib-human of Earth. Dib, I would be honored to present before you the Almighty Tallests Red and Purple." He gestured to each person as he said their name, keeping his antenna respectfully low. He waited for Dib to follow through his piece.

"It's an honor, Almighty Tallests. I don't doubt your superiority." Dib bowed low at the waist and added the theatrical flare that Zim had fancied.

You could see the leaders chests puff out slightly and the smirks on their faces increase at the stroke of ego. Zim smiled to himself.

"Good. You shouldn't." Purple nodded. Red scrutinized the human silently. Hovering forward, Purple also studied the strange being. "It's ugly. I don't like it." He huffed and hovered away in a dismissive air as Dib almost face-palmed. Zim's eye twitched and Red laughed slightly.

"You're not supposed to like it." Red's smile immediately dropped as he took his turn to approach the Dib. "_Dib._" He studied the ripple run throughout the human's frame at the slide of it's name - it was intimidated. Red let loose a smirk with an underlying promise for entertainment that set Zim on edge. "You're of decent height. Tell me, how smart is your race?" Dib took a moment to shake off the cloudiness that came with being so close to the red Tallest. There was something about this one that made him feel cornered and in danger.

"Uh, my race does not compare height to intelligence." Tallest Red narrowed his eyes and Dib panicked slightly. "However, I am positive that none are as tall or smart as you." Zim praised the Dib in his mind for the smooth cover.

There was a mumbled "obviously" from Tallest Purple.

"Fascinating." Tallest Red rubbed his chin with a long, slender finger. Dib figured that this may be a good time to offer the snack they brought. He didn't know what a box of cereal would do, but Zim was so keen on the idea. Dib gave a sideways glance to the Invader and nudged his backpack with his elbow, silently asking if this was a good time. When Zim's eyes lit up with understanding and he nodded subtly, Dib turned his gaze back to the Tallest in front of him.

"Excuse me, Almighty Tallest Red, but I have brought a small offering for you both. If I may present it to you now, I would like to just get it from my backpack." At first the leader looked annoyed at being addressed but then he grew curious. He waved a hand to signify it was okay as Purple came over at the word 'offering'. Dib pulled his backpack off and withdrew the box of cereal from it. Holding it out to them, he waited.

Purple eye's widened slightly. Red looked at it apprehensively, like it might explode.

"Ooo, what is it?" Purple poked at the box. Dib smiled a little, almost forgetting that these were leaders of a dangerous race out for galactic conquest that were acting almost innocently.

"It's a snack." That's all that Purple needed to hear as he snatched the box away. Red watched as Purple tore the top off and took the plastic bag out. He could see little round brown things but he couldn't get to them. The purple Tallest pouted as his gently poked at the plastic. Dib held back his laugh, but he did smile. "Tallest Purple, if you open just the top of the bag, you can eat it."

The leader scoffed and put one hand on his hip armor.

"I knew that!" He then proceeded to eye the bag again before carefully ripping open the plastic. When the small round snacks were opened, sensitive antenna quickly picked up on the sugary goodness it held. Purple's eyes grew big and scooped a few directly into his mouth. Red took a single piece between his two long fingers and looked at it carefully.

"It looks like a mini cookie." Purple's antenna perked up at Red's comment.

"It tastes sorta like a cookie." Zim carefully studied his leaders faces. They seemed pleased with the snack despite acting like it was insignificant. Purple scoffed.

"Lame. We could totally shrink our cookies." Red agreed and Dib was confused.

"Why would you shrink large cookies when you can just make them small originally?" Everyone just looked at the human like he was stupid, and Zim with a bit of a horrified expression.

'_Dib, for once in your life, please don't make people hate you. I'm not on stable terms here either, you just don't know it yet.'_ Zim was pleading in his mind for Dib to shut up. Luckily, the Tallests just seemed to chalk it up to stupidity rather than insolence. Tallest Purple broke the moment by suddenly shoving more cookies in his mouth.

Seeing as he soon wouldn't get any, Red reached over and stole some of the snack - Purple sticking his tongue out at the thief before returning all his attention to the task of eating.

Red returned his scrutinizing stare to the human, occasionally popping a small cookie into his mouth. Seemingly coming to a decision, he floated over to a hovering screen and poked at it - a large, floating, mechanical ball came from the wall, zoomed over and scanned the flinching Dib. It quickly returned to where it had come from and the screen by the leader was flooded by rolling information. The more Tallest Red analyzed the data, the more he smiled. He was eventually laughing to himself.

"So _horribly_ flawed. It's almost unbelievable. You'd be very easy to simply... _break_." The Tallest clicked his teeth shut and snapped his two fingers together, making like he was cracking some bones, and shot Dib with a pointed gaze. A chuckle ripped through the audience as Zim stiffened, unnoticed. The constant ignorable itch in his PAK buzzed to an all new level of alarm. He stared down his leaders, checking for suspicions like the paranoia demanded.

Dib felt like melting discreetly into the wall, but the Tallest went on.

"For all the organs you have, they're not doing a great job at getting all the necessities - your cells are lacking a bit of the basics they need to function. So much waste as well." The Tallest tsk'ed lightly as he read more off the screen. "Oh, and look, this organ is not even doing anything. It's practically useless, you could live without it. Why is it there? We could take it out for you, if you wish." Red grinned widely and hovered over to his co-leader who had resorted to uncontrollable chuckling, the sugary snack consumed and no longer providing its meager protection from Tallest Purple. Dib shuffled his feet awkwardly and he pressed a hand against his side where his appendix lay underneath.

"Really, it's okay. I don't wish to trouble you or dirty your equipment." Dib's voice was soft with a hint of sarcasm. While the Tallests were intimidating at first, they hadn't seemed terrible. Now, they were being almost rude. He knew he had useless organs, but no species was perfect, not even Irkens!

"No, really, we insist." Purple almost purred.

Dib blinked.

Metal hit metal.

Then metal hit flesh.

* * *

Cloaky and Goatee Bug hadn't had the time to think of a fool-proof plan, but the one they had would work. It had to.

They had gone to the air ducts that fed oxygen to all parts of the ship. They followed the sounds of whispers echoing through the tunnels and carefully made their way to over The Hall. The pathway was bigger here, as there was more air needed for the masses of assembled Irkens. They looked down through the grate, saw the tops of hundreds of Irken heads and assumed that this must be the audience. They could hear the Tallests speaking further down.

"For all the organs you have, they're not doing a great job at getting all the necessities - your cells are lacking a bit of the basics they need to function. So much waste as well."

Cloaky hated that tone. Whoever the unfortunate soul was that was being ridiculed, she only hoped that they could use the distraction as a get away and maybe go off and find Lard Nar.

Both the rebels quickly crawled further down the duct. They stopped at the next few grates to chart their progress as the conversation went on below.

"Oh, and look, this organ is not even doing anything. It's practically useless, you could live without it. Why is it there? We could take it out for you, if you wish."

Goatee Bug almost growled. The jerks...

"Really, it's okay. I don't wish to trouble you or dirty your equipment." The one being questioned made a retort and the rebels were not sure whether to be amused or scared. No doubt they weren't going to get away with that.

They came over a large grate and could see the railing of the balcony as well as people on the upper level. There was the two Tallests, Invader Zim, the must-be Resisty member, and only two guards off to the side. The grate was not directly above them, but if the Tallests moved over to the railing it would be perfect.

It was maddening how lax they were. Did they not fear a threat at all? Cloaky purely resented them. She looked down on the scene and watched carefully for their opening, but what she witnessed next was fast, dangerous, and not what she was expecting.

"No, really, we insist." Purple cooed and shot a cord from his PAK straight at the pale alien with the single antenna. She cringed expecting the poor thing to be impaled. However, Zim - showing surprising reaction time, strength, and even caring for reasons Cloaky was sure she couldn't fathom- shot out his own metallic leg and pierced through Purple's cord and then into the wall. With the leg effectively trapped, the original target was saved.

But, just as quickly as Zim had stopped Purple, Red responded to the threat against his co-leader. Soon his PAK leg was impaled in the Invader's shoulder.

A gasp rang through the crowd as Zim growled in pain, grasping the metallic PAK cord the connecting him to his Tallest Red.

The rebels didn't understand. _The_ Invader Zim had just acted out against his leaders to protect a non-Irken alien. The whispers were right, this was turning out to be an interesting meeting indeed.

* * *

If not for the fact that Zim had been so increasingly focused on his leader's every movement, analyzing it for suspicion, he would have missed the subtle signal.

There was a slight shift of weight that gave the PAK a more direct shot at Dib. That increasing itch in Zim's PAK exploded into a whirlwind that directed his PAK leg to stop the threat against the human. Zim recognized in the back of his mind that this impulsiveness just signed his death warrant, but it had all happened in the blink of an eye.

Zim's spider leg was impaled through Purple's and Red's was embedded in the Invader's shoulder. Zim groaned and dropped to his knee's in pain. The Irken's pink, life-sustaining fluid dripped onto the floor. The pain was like a wave temporarily clearing away the dizzying conflicting emotions. When it occurred to him what the hell he had just done, and the severity of his betrayal in front of an audience, Zim stared at his spider leg like it didn't belong to him. He could feel the Dib staring at him as well. Zim wasn't aware of the crowd shocked into silence - this couldn't be real. It had to be a dream because this_ couldn't_ happen.

Zim was snapped back to the cruel reality as Red's PAK leg twisted in his deltoid, splashing more pink blood on the balcony floor. He winced both from the pain and from his leaders piercing glare.

"_Let **go**, Zim._" Tallest Red's voice was deliberately slow and clear, promising pain if not heeded. Zim tried. He really physically tried to remove his spider leg from Purple's. But, there was that something that refused to budge. It was that irrational forced indulgence in his paranoia that kept him there against rational thought. Its traitorous voice whispered that his leaders were not to be trusted - that they were not good enough leaders. If he let go, he knew that there would be repercussions to face and they were likely to attack him. The whisper called for a fight for dominance. It new Zim could win...he ached to take the challenge...

"I can't." Zim's voice was strained as he was fighting the urge to stand up to his Tallests. He was talking to himself as much as he was them. He couldn't fight them, and he couldn't not fight them.

"Yes, you can! Just let go, let go! Let Go! letgoletgoletgoletgo_letgo_!" Tallest Purple had a mini-tantrum as he struggled against Zim's hold, pulling back on unobliging cord.

Zim just lowered his head and hugged his torso, clamping his hands onto his sides - trying to contain the feelings raging inside him that were building with Purple's struggles. The more the Tallest proved he couldn't pull away, the stronger the itch's argument became.

Tallest Red became aware of the increasing growl from the Invader and stopped putting pressure on the leg impaled in him. When the vibrations started reaching him through the leg from the shaking invader, he shushed his co-leader.

"Purple, wait." Red's tone commanded the halt of the tantrum. Both Tallests observed the growl take on a pained tone and Zim curling in farther. The Invader's hands were inching towards his PAK now - obviously the source of the problem. Red knew that this could possibly turn dangerous. PAK malfunctions could make an Irken physically strong, but at the cost of being mentally unstable.

According to the dissected PAKs of previous deactivated defects, the point of insanity was caused by weak PAK circuits fried by primitive emotions. These strong impulsive feelings sometimes occurred if there was a mutation in the synthesized DNA after it's already been inserted into the PAK. With the DNA in the PAK no longer being a perfect match to the DNA in the body, the PAK could not work in perfect harmony. Depending on the type of mutation, the gene and protein codes were read differently by the mechanical RNA and the programming could no longer achieve maximum proficiency.

These emotions could push the functions of the PAK past what most Irkens were capable of, but the price was your sanity and superiority. You could not logically be part of the superior Irken race if you still held the same emotional tendencies as your primitive ancestors.

Zim was undeniably strong, and the Tallests knew that they could no longer disregard this fact as his mental stability was definitely questionable.

But then again, both Tallests wondered how far they could push him.

Dib had been left forgotten until he made a move towards his friend/enemy. He approached cautiously but confidently. Dib had always viewed Zim as a bit of a wild animal (the awesome animal you want as a pet but can't because it's too dangerous), so he approached like you would a wounded wolf.

Zim's antennae perked up as Dib's footsteps got closer and the alien snapped his head up to glare at the oncoming possible threat. Dib paused and raised his hands slowly to show he meant no harm. After a moment of Zim glaring at the boy, his antennae lowered and he returned his head to its hanging position. Dib proceeded slowly forward and eventually crouched next to the kneeing Irken.

Dib scanned Zim's form. It seemed that his PAK was troubling him. The human didn't know much about an Irken PAK, but he did know that Zim needed it to live - it was like an external brain. Which meant...Zim had a headache?

Dib wasn't sure exactly what to do, but if he looked at it from a headache point of view then rubbing his temples sometimes helped. Okay...so where was a PAK's temples? Dib scanned all around the PAK and noted the three slightly glowing, neon pink spots as well as the embedded edges where metal met skin underneath the pink fabric. If he had to guess, the spots were more temple-like but the fact that he had seen weapons come out of them kept him hesitant. Lightly with his index finger, Dib traced the pink spots, keeping his attention on both the PAK and Zim's reaction.

Zim's antenna twitched but there was no other visible response. Dib wondered if maybe he couldn't feel it. He let his hand wander to the junction of metal and skin. Zim's body stiffened, and Dib paused. When there was no indication to continue or stop, the human took the risk and started rubbing lightly. Never before had he seen Zim break down so hard, and it slightly scared him. Whatever was wrong, maybe he could help alleviate it.

As if reading his thoughts, Red spoke.

"You cannot help him." Dib looked up when he heard the cold voice, only to be meet by a colder gaze.

"I can try." '_I'm sure it's more that you've ever done.'_ Dib didn't want to deal with these stuck up leaders anymore. It was their attack on him that drove Zim off the deep-end. Everyone knew Zim had a screw loose, why would you test how long it would hold?

"He's a monster." Purple spat. "Defective." Zim's body cringed.

Zim had only been half paying attention - and he was never going to tell Dib how relaxing that small touch around his PAK was - but that blunt statement cut through the false security. Zim was almost fearful of what Dib would say. To find that your greatest enemy on Earth was the defective slop of Irk must be saddening, if not maddening.

"I don't care. Now, do you know what is happening to him or not?" The Tallests narrowed their eyes and Purple almost moved forward to reprimand the human before he was reminded by his co-leader not to move.

"Purple. Wait for stability." Everyone knew that he was talking about the Invader and his mental situation. Usually they wouldn't have to worry about an Irken attacking one of their one, much less a Tallest, but Zim was not unknown to kill Irkens and already had a reputation of two Tallests under his belt. If they set him off, the defective could cause an immense problem. Zim's tendency to destroy everything he touched was no longer going to be shrugged at. "As for Zim, yes, we know what's going on and, no, no one can save him." Red continued.

"Tell me what's happening. I have a right to know." Dib stayed defiant.

"You do not!" Purple almost screeched. Red just smirked.

"A PAK is a machine combined with Irken biology. The PAK records all feelings, emotions and it also controls, or at least helps, most involuntary life-sustaining processes. Zim was suited with a damaged I.D. PAK. There was a mutation in the DNA in his PAK and as a side-effect, he has the primitive emotions of our inferior ancestors that battle with the Irken training chips that tell him that he should be above such imperfections. Basically it comes down to extreme paranoia and blood-lust. The constant contradiction of orders from his PAK eventually drives the defective insane." Dib glowered at the leader who dared sound amused by such a thing.

Under his hand, the defect in question chuckled.

"You ever have an itch that you can't scratch?" Dib was a bit disturbed at Zim's words, but at least the Irken seemed to be calming down a bit. "You ever gotten one on the inside of your brain?" The dry chuckle came again.

It was only after this enlightening moment of dark mirth that Invader Zim suddenly pulled his spider leg out of Tallest Purple's, releasing it with a sharp metallic '_shhrrk_' that made everyone jump. Standing, Zim brushed Dib off and stepped back, ripping the PAK cord from his shoulder. More pink blood spilled on the floor and soaked his shirt as Zim bowed to his leaders.

"I'm sorry, my Tallests. I was weak and allowed myself to act on instinct. I should not have."

Zim stayed with his head down as Purple scoffed.

"No, you shouldn't have. You shouldn't have even been allowed to survive. We have been extremely lenient with you but just haven't been able to go through the formalities to discard you yet. Your PAK should have been shut down and erased after Horrible Painful Overload Day when you clogged the Smeet Delivery Chute. Five years, Zim. FIVE YEARS of darkness for Irk just because you were born and information was downloaded into you." Purple pointed an accusing finger at the Invader.

Zim gave a tired chuckle.

"Why is no one impressed? Really, I've gone through all of the training. I became an Irken Elite and then an Invader. I also blew up the most. If Irkens are the best of the best and I can devastate them, then that makes me better than the average Irken and consequently better than anyone. I am AMAZING!" Zim threw his unhurt arm up and clenched his fist, only to get light-headed. "Ugh, Dib. I order you to remind me not to fight the urges again, it makes me tired." Zim knew he would need a good recharge after this.

The red Tallest twitched. He guessed there was some logic in that...

"But..." Tallest Red paused, "You've not had this much trouble before. We did not figure you to show these signs for many years to come." Zim looked off to the side, he did not want to tell his Tallests about the effect they had had on him.

"When I was...on Earth between your two important calls, my PAK had an overload. It reset and remolded my emotions to fit Invader training protocol as a self-preservation tactic." Tallest Red made an "o" face. It was understandable, Invaders had a strict emotional guard to handle what they would inevitable see and it was bound to make Zim crazier than usual if the PAK tried to curb his paranoia and massive blood-lust to fit that.

"That's no excuse! Before that you blew up stuff you weren't supposed to! You might as well be a traitor, you've killed a Tallest before - TWO of them! We've all seen your Replay when we had you on trial. You were sentenced a defect. We even tried to drain your PAK - and would do it again if we didn't know that it would fry the Control Brains!" Tallest Purple almost roared. Zim looked hurt, his antennae were flat against his head and he cringed away from his leaders. Dib looked on in anger - how could Zim's own leaders be so ungrateful?

"In fact: screw formalities! I say we just rip off your PAK now just to get you out of the way." Purple bared his teeth and unleashed his impressive spider legs, planning on ripping the smaller Irken to shreds.

Dib ripped his borrowed laser out from its hidey spot in the top of his pants, under his shirt. He aimed for the threatening leader and every pair of shocked eyes were on him.

"You wouldn't dare." Tallest Purple sneered and Tallest Red made ready to intervene.

Dib dared and fired a warning shot that singed Purple's mechanical PAK legs. The leader screeched and jumped back, pointing an accusing finger.

"He's crazy!"

"Shut up! Are you so ungrateful to him? He might have caused you trouble in the past, but he left my planet and came all the way here just to save your sorry asses! I've seen the transmission you sent! You asked for his assistance and now you stand here - after it's all done and you don't need him anymore - calling him a defect? Well tell you what, this defect just saved this civilization! Can't you just call it even?" Dib yelled nearly at the top of his lungs. He'd had enough of this shit. Zim simply stared in awe (and slight pride in the boy) while noting that Dib had a scary temper that they would need to work on. He really shouldn't go around shooting lasers at almighty leaders.

A murmur went threw the crowd. While peeved that he had threatened their leader's life, this gutsy non-Irken was right. For those who had arrived with Zim, in the excitement of everything else, they had forgotten that Zim was asked to do this as a special request from the Tallests themselves. For the ones who had been on the Massive, they had known that the Tallests made a call for backup but hadn't known it was to Zim specifically.

It was also true that this so-called defect almost killed off the Irkens in the past, but now he had saved them. Dib went over to the railing with a feeling of purpose- he could feel a current of air coming from the ceiling and it calmed him a bit. Zim had once stood before his race to advance Dib's standing and now maybe he could return the favor. Dib didn't believe he would ever get a chance like this again, and he was on an adrenaline high right now anyway.

"I know that I am not Irken and that you think of yourselves as superior to me. While that might be true, you should still listen to what I have to say. I've come here and seen how great this race is - it's advanced, smart, and completely different from mine in great ways. But my race calls me insane as well and it makes me hate my kind. Now I see you calling Zim insane, and it makes me realize:" He paused for dramatic effect. "Irkens are no better than my race! You're both stupid enough to not realize that insanity might not be a bad thing!" Dib might have gone on, but the audience will never know because he was interrupted by two voices.

"Dib..."  
"_Enough!_"

Zim called Dib's name the moment Red boomed. The twitch in Zim's PAK flared as Red hovered menacingly over to the human and slapped the laser away. The invader would have attacked if not for Purple slamming a spider leg into his chest, knocking him back against the far wall near the door they had come in.

Dib swung his head around as he heard the impact. He saw Zim slide down the wall and the alien look up to glare at Red. The Irken's gaze landed on something above them. His expression changed from enraged to terrified.

* * *

Cloaky and Goatee Bug watched the meeting carefully. They were now aware that this pink alien and Zim seemed to have a strong relationship - it seems this thing was not Resisty at all. At least they didn't have to worry about not hurting him - a friend of Zim was an enemy of theirs. Cloaky cursed her previous thoughts of potentially saving the thing (although she had to admit, it had spunk).

The rebels watched the argument and the unknown alien make a persuasive stand for the defective invader. They watched the crowd share a collective contemplative murmur and Red approach the thing at the railing.

Both of the duct-dwellers tensed as the Tallest got unknowingly into position. They unsheathed their short knives (as it was all they had left to fight with) and got ready to break through the grate to drop on their target.

* * *

Dib looked up when he saw Zim's expression. He saw a grate above Tallest Red and himself, and his eyes connected with softly glowing white ones. Dib's mind clicked.

_Resisty..._

_...Assassination!_

There was a loud, thundering boom as two pairs of boots slammed against the grate, followed by creaks as it gave way.

Without thinking, Dib lunged forward.

"_NO! **DIB**_**!**" Zim's voice echoed in the dead silence as Dib's world exploded into pain.

* * *

**Holy Shizzy, I know what happens and I'm still nervous for the Dibbeh. All is not well, my friends and if you want to know why, you'll have to give me a review - it makes me update faster if I know that people are actually reading and what they think. :P**

**Stay tuned next time for the new chapter : To Kill a Dib**


	12. To Kill a Dib

**Whew, okay, the wait is over. Accept the fact that I don't own the characters - Jhonen Vasquez does - and that Illisandria Carthain is my beta and go find out what happens to Dib! Go Go Go!**

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* * *

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To Kill a Dib

"_NO! **DIB!**_"

Zim watched in horror as the grate fell open and the rebels dropped from the duct. He saw Dib shoot forward at his Tallest. He was going to save the one who had the perfect intention of making Dib suffer? The adrenaline got Zim pushing up from the ground as the two bodies descended. One of them ricocheted off the ground and made a beeline for Purple as one aimed  
for Red.

Due to the new angle, changed by Dib, the Resisty's knife dragged down Tallest Red's head. It grazed the skin from forehead to chin on the left side over his eye instead of impaling his cranium directly. The weapon continued its relationship with gravity and scraped along the invisible helmet, stabbing into the back of Dib as he protected the leader's front at the same time as pushing the Tallest backwards.

It was like slow motion for Dib as his adrenaline surged. He felt the cold, hard metal scrap his spine but had yet to feel the pain. A feminine voice whispered in his ear.

"_Traitor_."

The voice was bitter and sore. The knife was stone-hearted as it was twisted. A voiceless cry tore Dib's throat as time and agony caught up. The human was relieved as he finally blacked out.  
Red roared in pain and lashed out blindly with a spider leg as the veil of disbelief went up in flames. The outrage was sounded from the crowd.

"**RED!**" Purple screamed as he heard Red's agonizing growl. The guards, having jumped into action, lunged at the closest attacker heading for their purple leader. Said attacker kept on and made for Purple's throat, keen agility dodging the guards' attempts, only for the knife to meet a defending purple gauntlet. The Tallest responded with a swift spider leg overhead.

The rebel barely missed impalement by jumping to the side. Again, Goatee Bug lunged in at the Tallest and again was thwarted by the armor, though making an impressive scratch. Dodging was again necessary as the Irken leader swung his two claws around, grazing the cheek of the attempting assassin.

Goatee Bug jumped up and came down upon Purple's head. The Tallest put up a PAK leg in defense, but was knocked back by the sudden top-heaviness. The fall disoriented the two of them, but PAK instincts proved superior as a second spider leg was soon piercing the rebel's torso. The buggy alien choked on his green life-substance as he drifted into the coldness of a last failure.

* * *

In the meantime, Red and Dib had fallen. Dib was lying still on top of the Irken leader. The crowd had launched into a wall shattering cry for rebel blood as the cloaked figure jumped back from the slashing leg of the Tallest. The offensive party was about to go in again, but the Invader behind her had gained his footing. With a war cry, Zim launched at Cloaky, having used the wall to push off of. The defect dropped and slid, kicking the feet out from under the cloak, taking the poor rebel by surprise and ending the second attack.

The invader was then quickly on top of the slim cloaked figure, forcing her hands to her back and her body to the floor.

"Where have you been hiding, you little shit?" Zim growled near his captives head.

"Ha, you wish you knew, you bastard. And the two of us aren't the only ones left. Lard Nar, our strong leader, is still out there and the Resisty will be reborn! You cannot win every battle to come, Invader Zim, no matter how big your ego is!" The cloaked rebel squirmed beneath the Irken invader.

"Oh, but Zim is AMAZING. As long as I live, I will fight for my Empire. Failure will be my death and nothing more." Out of the corner of his eye, Zim saw the other Resisty go down with Tallest only to be skewered a second later, and grinned. "Looks like your failure is here as well, your partner just kicked the metaphorical bucket." Cloaky just scoffed at the sneering invader.

"He won't be alone, after all, only Irkens will survive this, right?" Zim couldn't see the grin, but he could sense it and it put him on high alert. She probably shouldn't be happy about that fact.

Zim was undeniably strong enough to restrain the alien girl, injured as he was, but he wasn't expecting the shot of pain when Cloaky rammed the back of her head into his injured shoulder. The Irken gasped and his grip loosened just enough for Cloaky to slip from his grasp. The Resisty member was relentless as she sat up and turned to hit the wounded deltoid again, this time with the palm of her hand, forcing the Irken to yield. Tearing one of the small vials from its loop on the belt crossing over Zim's chest, she twisted and chucked the toxin-filled glass on the only other live non-Irken on the balcony.

Zim felt the tug on his belt and his heart plummeted. He saw the arm swing around. He saw the vial fly through the air and break upon Dib's back. He felt the growl tear up his throat and his hand hit flesh as he backhanded the girl that had turned to grin at him. And as Cloaky flew from the force of the hit and rolled to a stop near the railing, Zim lurched to Dib's side. He didn't know what to do as he saw Dib's back, spine visible in the cut, soaked with the embodiment of a scorned woman's payback. However, he knew exactly what to do when he heard the high-pitched laughing coming from behind him.

Turning sharply, Zim pinned the girl with a sharp glare. He stood as the guards and Tallest Purple ran over to them. Purple kneeled next to Red, babbling, while the other Tallest just held his hand over his bleeding left eye, blinded by blood and pain.

Invader Zim slowly walked over to the cloaked alien that was holding the side of her face. Her laughed weakened, but she wouldn't show fear to this thing. She knew she was going to die, she knew that when she set out for this suicide mission. She just didn't know that it would be so scary staring Zim, and therefore Death, in the face. Cloaky was aware of the threatening growl, and the intent to maim, she would make this quick on herself.

"What's the matter Invader Zim! Didn't you know that under the Irken machine, men die? The PAK, and all that is you, is everything that will kill us - _including him_." Cloaky forced herself to laugh in his face at his suffering. She tried to provoke the monster so that it would end her quickly.

Zim hissed as he bent down low over her. He did not dignify her with a response as he dragged her up by the scruff of her cloak.

"Kill me, Invader Zim," Cloaky spat at him. "-kill me and be left unsatisfied in your hell."

"No." The blunt rejection had Cloaky gaping.

"Why not? Kill me, Invader Zim, you shit! Kill me!" The girl became so indignantly angry that she swiped at the Irken's face.

Zim just leaned back casually to avoid it. "The cure to that poison...I have it." The lie slipped easily through his teeth. "Oh, you love to hate me, don't you, honey? I wouldn't want to soil that by granting you your last request. No, you shall be killed by the nameless, and therefore, remain nameless after your hopeless attempt at a grand martyrdom." Zim grinned something vicious as the cloaked figure hung speechless from her nightmare's grip, stripped of everything she had hoped to attain.

_'Lard Nar was right...'_

The Invader, almost carelessly, flung the rebel over the railing as he turned away. The last thing the girl saw was the PAK of Invader Zim before she plummeted into the sea of green that tore at her limbs.

Kneeling down next to the body that was lying on Red's legs, Zim carefully pulled Dib into his lap and leaned his antennae down to hear the boy's heart. It was struggling already and his breathing had drastically slowed. A large amount of poison was taken in through the huge wound and it had already half killed him. Dib needed immediate treatment if he had any chance of surviving. It was true that Zim didn't have an antidote, but if it was for Dib, it was also true that Zim would do anything to fix this.

Gently, Zim scooped Dib up bridal style while being careful not to aggravate the human's wound too much. The Invader ignored the strain on his abused shoulder as he called on his spider legs to assist him. Already rushing out the door, the Irken called to the raging crowd.

"WE NEED MEDICS IN THE SICKBAY NOW! IF YOU'RE NOT A MEDIC AND YOU'RE THERE CLOGGING THE HALLS - I'LL KILL YOU." With that, Zim was out the door with Dib while Tallest Purple was hot on his heels with his co-leader.

* * *

They had made it to the Sickbay in record time and the medics arrived soon after. Tallest Red was the first to be seen while Zim thought hard on how to treat a poison he hadn't planned on needing to cure.

A nameless medic that Zim didn't care about came over. He had the audacity to interrupt his thoughts. "Invader Zim, we need to see your shoulder now." The Invader being addressed growled.

"No." Zim snapped. The medic blinked in confusion.

"Sir, please. The human is going to die. There is no cure for the poison you created. We need to heal you before the risk increases that you will be hindered by it later in life." The medic sounded genuinely regretful to give the bad news, but Zim didn't want to hear it.

"Don't you think I know that! I created the damned thing and I know there is no treatment. But my amazing brain could be finding one if you would just leave me alone!" Zim snarled, baring his teeth, and the medic backed away slowly.

Frustrated, Zim leaned his elbows onto the edge of the bed that he had placed the Dib on, pushing his palms into the sides of his head. His claws had almost broken the skin when he took a deep breath. Trying to think calmly, he spoke quietly to himself. He was only vaguely aware of the other medic reinforcements now coming over to try and persuade him to let them heal his shoulder.

"Okay, Zim, you can do this. Just think back. All the tests on the subjects were fatal. On my skin, they were fatal. The difference between my skin cells and my body was..." Zim's eyes shot open. "PAK." Standing up abruptly, Zim spun around to the medics who were cautiously approaching. "PAK! He needs a PAK!" The medics shared a look between them.

"But, Sir, we don't have a PAK to give him...it wouldn't be allowed...anyway." The poor fool who had spoken out was nearly felled by the spider leg that sunk into the floor near his foot.

"It was not a question and I was not asking your opinion." The Irken's eyes were a deep blood red that almost asked them to disobey and see what happens. None of them dared. "Now, You," The invader pointed to one of the medics. "Sterilize the area. And you," his finger moved to another Irken. "-clean and bind his wound." To the final Irken medic that was in attendance before him, he spoke in a softer voice. "You may attend to my shoulder until they finish that. I suggest you all work fast." Zim tore his spider leg from out of the floor and they all scrambled to finish their tasks.

* * *

Tallest Red was in the next room over of the Sickbay. His PAK had gone into a forced hibernation state, due to a personal preservation instinct, during the trip as his co-leader carried him. The leader had lost a lot of blood that was now being transfused into his body. The medics worked silently as Purple whimpered in the corner.

The red eye had to be removed for it was damaged badly. Another was easily required, thankfully, but the cut had been deep enough that he would bear a scar running vertically from forehead to chin for the rest of his life.

Once they had cleaned and bound the skin back together, they replaced the eye. They had found one that was the same color as his right and connected the nerves, popping the new eye in the socket. Assuring Tallest Purple that his companion would live unhindered, they left to give the leaders some privacy and rest.

Purple moved over and sat in the uncomfortable bedside chair. For once, Purple looked on with a solemn attitude. He lightly traced the scar on his friend's face and cursed the Resisty in his head.

The purple-hued leader sighed heavily and looked around the room a bit bored. His gaze caught his reflection in a metal tube running along the wall at the other end on the room. A scratch on the tube ran over his left eye and, subconsciously, the leader raised a long finger to trace the mark on his face - only to feel perfect skin. Sighing again, he looked down at Red. The warmer colored leader looked like a mix between peaceful and slightly annoyed. Purple scoffed.  
Going over the scar once more with his eyes, committing the endearing disfigurement to memory, he folded his arms on the edge of the bed and plopped his head down with his back arched almost painfully.

With a silent sob, Purple distractedly thought on how he missed it when Red smiled.

* * *

The room was sterile - you could tell from the almost sickening smell. Zim had endured the prodding at his shoulder while the human was treated by the doubtful medic, but as soon as Dib's wound was bound back together the Invader had pushed off his medic who had been trying to carefully bind his muscle back into one piece. While his medic complained about not finishing, he ordered the Irken that had attended to Dib to take the monitors and keep an eye on Dib's contamination levels. Right now, it was in the red zone, and Dib was going to die.

After literally pushing the little doctors out of the room, Zim locked the door and went back to Dib's side. Looking around hesitantly, the Irken reconsidered what he was about to do. There was no doubt in his mind that this would kill at least one of them, if not both, but if he didn't gamble, Dib was definitely going to die and Zim would live on always wondering if he could have saved him.

Zim ran a hand over the neat scar that used to be the gash in his back. The one thing about Irken technology is that the new medical advancements were better than what any other race could come up with. Zim sighed, pushing trivial thoughts from his mind, and climbed up on the bed.

Straddling the human's lower back, the invader leaned down to the human again and pressed the tips of his antennae to the boy. The struggling beat of Dib's heart hardened his resolve and he reached behind him. With a hiss, his PAK released its hold.

* * *

**x.x **

**The next chapter might be a bit - I've been working on it for awhile and due to the extreme and complex-ness of coming events, it's hard for me to explain it. Please be patient, I'm just trying to give you the best quality I can dish out. :3 Thank you.**

******Now review, dangit! Review! -shakes fist- It makes me happy. **  



	13. To Resurrect a Dib

**Okay! I wrote this three times...THREE times! I hope it's okay for you all. I really want to give you the best story possible for all the lovely reviews. :3 **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or any of its characters. I am not making a profit off of this and the views expressed in this story on the Irken PAK and society are not necessarily shared with the original creator - Jhonen Vasquez - and are my own personal opinions and takes on the race. Thank you.**

To Resurrect a Dib

* * *

Straddling the human's lower back, the invader leaned down again and pressed the tips of his antennae to the boy. The struggling beat of Dib's heart hardened his resolve and he reached behind him. With a hiss, his PAK released its hold.

_10..._

"I'm sorry." Zim pressed it to Dib's exposed back. The invader could hear the workings of the machine as it burrowed into the human flesh. The human body below him convulsed in response and the Irken pinned the boy to the bed to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

_8..._

Zim felt himself weaken as he held Dib's body down.

_7..._

The human stopped spazzing - the attachments must have been made. So the Irken waited.

_5..._

Zim was fighting against his legs to keep his body up. As much as he was trying to keep his weight off of Dib, he simply didn't have the strength left.

_3..._

Zim was literally gasping for air now and he was having trouble seeing.

_2..._

"Forgive me, Dib." The invader gritted his teeth together and wedged his fingers under the edge of the PAK. Zim took a deep breath to gather his strength before he literally pried the PAK from Dib's back. The human body convulsed from the agony and the unconscious Dib even made a pained noise as the PAK finally detached. Zim paused to fight off the wave of dizziness that hit him.

_1..._

Dib was comfy.

He was cold and scared at first, but he was really content now. The pain had faded to numbness and he had felt trapped, but now didn't care. Everything was fiinnnneee. It was like floating in black (or maybe white?) nothingness.

Hey, there was a light. Damn, was he dead? Oh well, the light was pretty. Dib tired to reach for the new found warmth in the coldness around him. He reached out and touched it... 'FUCK!'

The electric shock that ran throughout his body hurt. Dib pulled away. Bad light! He kept his awareness away from the biting aurora, hiding deep in his inner thoughts. What he didn't count on was for the thing to chase after him, tearing and pulsing. The human consciousness struggled as this intruder buried itself deep and latched on. It sucked the numbness from his bones, always inching forward till it impregnated his innermost being. Dib would have screamed if he could have controlled his body. It felt like hours before the thing inched back.

At first Dib thought the parasite that had attached to him was leaving, but it soon became apparent that it had no such intentions. Its hold slipped backwards as it fought to inch forward, to claim and to conquer. It was being pulled away. Dib could almost here it screech as it's last inch gave way, leaving the human consciousness exposed, cold, hurting and much, too much, aware.

* * *

Zim cursed as he looked at his lifeclock - one minute. He fumbled to put the PAK back on its rightful spot. The Irken felt the connections click into place and all his energy and data came streaming back to him. He then gave a strangled gasp as the feeling of cold numbness clawed at his brain. He could feel...Dib...there was no other way to explain it. It was just the strong essence of Dib lingering in the PAK.

The human was vaguely aware of a change in his mind and the idiot had been curious enough, even when half dead, to question it. It seemed that the PAK was doing what it was programmed to do though, it was protecting and healing what it thought was its new host.

Zim held in a strangled dry sob of pain as he opened a transmission to the medic waiting with Dib's vitals. As soon as he saw the Irken, he could tell he was stressed but he didn't care.  
"Sterilize the room and report the human's status." Zim could see the other Irken look off screen for a moment and heard a click. Soon there was a hissing in the room around him and the smell of ungodly cleanliness came full force.

"He's in the yellow now. What did you do, Sir? That can't be possible without a PA-" The medic's eyes went large with realization and Zim cut the transmission. He soon heard screaming and banging on the other side of the door as the invader once again reached behind himself.

* * *

Dib felt violated, and lonely-

oh so lonely.

He tried to hug himself, but his arms wouldn't move. With the regained ability to feel the outline of his body, he longed for the numbness to return and sweep away the pain. There was a pressure on his lower back, it was almost reassuring in the fact that he wasn't completely dead, but Dib could feel the cold battling for his heart again, and it scared him more than he was comforted. He wished for anything. Even if the breathing light came back, it would at least be a bit of warmth and life in this blackness. Dib just wanted something alive, because frankly, he was feeling far from it.

It was in his wallowing that the electricity was upon him again, happy to return and burrow its tendrils into him once again. Filling the tunnels it had left earlier, it hummed in pleasure of a host. It lapped at the cold, numb fingers clenching the human's heart and brain. It swallowed the darkness around Dib and it beat down the pain. The weight was lifted, and it took over, cooing that everything was taken care of. Dib believed it.

He didn't have to struggle to breathe, the newcomer did that for him. Dib didn't have to put energy into his slowing heart, the invader took that over too. Soon, Dib didn't even have to think, it was all taken care of. However, the more it did, the louder the thing got. The light buzzed, a voice faded in.

_"-too long now. You've got to be bigger, be faster, and be stronger if you're going to survive any longer. The first fight might be your last. We can not be failures, because we have something to prove. We have to-_" The voice faded out, as if it didn't belong in his head. It was familiar, hauntingly so. Something in Dib's mind whispered.

_'Zim._' It was one word, barely heard, a breeze through the human's head that tore down a wall.

'_Zim._' It was resolute in Dib's mind. He knew this thing, this light, this voice. It was Zim. The Irken was here with him, did he die too? The human reached out hesitantly to brush his consciousness with Zim's.

_"Zim?_" It was a wordless question. The light cooed in response. It knew this word, it liked this word. It curled tighter around Dib, protecting, drawing the coldness into itself. It lulled him with a constant vibrating hum. Dib let his mind wander as the light soothed him as if it wanted him to be happy and healthy. It hummed louder for its effort.

* * *

The PAK monitored its (slightly pathetic) new body. It was dying, and so it needed to be healed. It registered the positive reaction to itself, to Zim. 'Zim' made 'Dib' happy. 'Zim' would make 'Dib' healthy. Diagnostic: 'Zim' would be administered to 'Dib' to make body acceptable. The Irken machine started downloading.

* * *

The information started flowing around Dib, small fleets of feelings here and there. It made Dib feel alive. The longer it went on, the stronger the feelings became. Soon, the feelings were accompanied by whispers, and the whispers slowly grew into voices. While not distinguishable at first, Dib was content to listen and try and decipher. The human didn't know how long he had been at it, or if he was becoming good at interpreting or the voices were just becoming louder.

_"Fight."_ Again, this whisper, it was determined and full of conviction. _"Fight. Fight like you have never fought before. Anything goes in a place like this and you've got to be the best."_ But why, why did he have to fight? He was comfy for once. The light growled in protest and the faded whisper came back, urging. _"Don't let yourself down because your last chance has arrived and you've got to use it to be heard."_ Something clicked in Dib's head. It was Zim's voice, and Zim's feelings being projected into his head. This wasn't Dib's. The human tried to pull away, he didn't want to be in Zim's head. The flow around Dib, which had steadily picked up current, was now almost mentally suffocating. It whipped around him. It was like a hurricane.

_"Get out of my head, Zim!_" Dib pushed back against the invading presence. The intensity increased, it wouldn't leave.

_"Your time is NOW!_" It was a yell encasing all Zim's feelings of determination and assuredness and imposing them on Dib. If the human listened carefully, he could have sworn that he heard war cries.

_'-ybe, just maybe, Dib has a more Irken attitude than an Irken.-'_ The light whisper stood out amongst the rest. Dib paused in his fight against the invader. The hum was thundering against him. The human wondered why he was fighting off this. Sure, it was uncomfortable, but this was Zim. What was he going to do? Defeat him and conquer Earth? Dib scoffed to himself, whirlwind still going on around him. The human was almost positive that the Irken invader would have nothing to gain from killing him off now, except maybe to ride himself of an annoyance. But, that made Dib think that after everything that has happened here, would he want to continue on as just an annoyance? Not wanting to face the answer, Dib forced himself to drop the fight entirely. If this was Zim, and Dib had nothing to fear from the Irken, then letting this thing do what it wanted shouldn't have bad side effects.

_Goddammit_!, Dib hoped he could trust Zim.

The invader's hums reached an all time screeching high and the information swelled around Dib as it swallowed him whole, numbness, pain, and perception alike.

* * *

Dib opened his eyes. He felt like he was coming down from a high and still had a sense of giddiness about him. The first thing he noticed was a loud, contented buzzing in the background. It wasn't coming in through his senses, it was just there.

He saw his hands, no, not his. Yes his? He didn't know. The hands. The hands were gloved and covered in a goo of an almost purple red color, the invader supplied the words 'life-sustaining' where his own mind supplied 'blood' but it was hard to tell the difference between his and it's now. There was only a thumb and two fingers, but something seemed normal about that. He could see everything he never saw before. He could see the fine texture of the black gloves running tightly over skin. He could define the minute light reflections in the oozy substance.

He could feel his body, but it wasn't his. He could feel a body that he was going to call his for all intents and purposes of not confusing himself, and was aware of every taught muscle and every placement of each of his eight limbs...wait, eight? There was four like his and four that were his but connected to the thing that had invaded his mind. Dib could feel every muscle moving against each other, spasming as the body chuckled while trying to still themselves to stop the humorous noise. The human could feel the gears and energy that flowed through the four metal limbs, entirely like muscles but entirely different. He was crouching on something that sank underneath the balls of his feet. He tried to move his eyes to focus on what was beneath him, but apparently the body didn't respond. So: not his. Glad that was cleared up.

But it felt like him. His throat hurt and his head hurt. However, it soon became clear it was not him making these realizations. The body was waking from it's high. It came to rational thought.

_'Damn.'_ Zim's lighthearted voice broke through to Dib.

_'Zim? Zim? Hey, can you hear me?'_ Dib shouted his thoughts, what the hell? Was he in Zim's head?

The Irken did not hear him. It vaguely assessed the damage as it straightened and pulled back the four mechanical legs, controlling them with as much ease as he moved his arms. Dib was horrified. Zim was soaked in various like juices - mainly blood – and, as Zim mentally made a note to having to specially clean his boots from the guts, Dib regretted his earlier thoughts on how deadly the boots looked. Dib received a detached flashback of a three headed man gripping his mid-section uselessly as blood poured through his fingers. This thing that Zim was standing on, it used to be a living being. Morbidly flabbergasted, Dib just watched as Zim thought about what it looked like before, what it looked like now and how it became that way with humor.

Gracefully, and almost daintily with pride in his work, Zim hopped off his squishy platform, his metal boots making light taps against the floor. Zim paused. Now that the body's attention was on it, Dib felt the sensory intake and it made his head hurt. The antenna took in more the human brain recognized and processed. Dib could taste the bitter chemicals in the air, but didn't have long to question it as the Irken thought.

'_That...should not have been heard.__'_ Zim, suspicious, turned and gave Dib a full view of the rest of the bloody room. It was recognizable as the main deck Dib had traveled, and now Dib new why there was certain stains in certain places. Zim's mind went blank as he saw everybody watching him. Resisty stared in pure fear, Irkens stared in horrid disgust and disapproval. Rage bubbled in the invader's stomach. It was white-hot, unbridled anger that swelled around Dib.

The sensory picked up something foul as some succumbed to their overwhelming fear. Zim snapped. To Dib, it was like a literal sound and feeling inside the alien. The rage all shot our and a roar ripped up his throat as he impulsively snatched his laser out of it's hip-side holster and shot the head off the nearest Resisty.

_'Fine, let them think me dangerous, let them think me bloodthirsty. I'll be anything, as long as it's something.'_ Dib was shocked at the amount of loathing - self and otherwise - that Zim held, and through it all, still held an even greater loyalty.

"RETREAT! RETREAT NOW! NOW DAMNIT!" A yell echoed over the entire room and everyone snapped back into action. Blood went flying and Dib pulled away, the horrible scenes burning into memory.

Dib tried to clear his mind, but images were being poured into his being. He searched mentally for anything constant, anything mind-numbing. Frantically, the human racked his and its brain. Everything was so...sleek and cold. It was all just a perfectly smooth surface, without any hints or ghosts of blemishes. It was all so alien and unsettling.

Just before the point of going insane, he found a crack, a hum, an imperfection. A constant hum that was and wasn't part of the stream. It wasn't from the Zim in the images, it was in his own mind, constant and there. It was that hum, the one that was entirely Zim. The human focused on the fluctuating vibration, clung to it like a life-line. He put all his attention on it and wrapped himself around it and in it, and waited out the storm as the memories flowed around him, reduced to passing acknowledgements as they became his memories as well.

Dib became angry at himself quickly. This was just Zim, and while he didn't understand it entirely, it was like he was losing to the alien. These were obviously Zim's memories - he had just seen the horrific battle he had only heard about from the Irken Naz. Determination set in as he refused to back down. Dib, while refusing to leave the safety of the buzzing, opened up to the torrent of everything. It was overloading, but the human allowed it. He allowed it, but kept his sanity in the imperfect feel of the grating noise.

It was when the entire being was disturbed that Dib lost his concentration. It was like the whole inner world he was in, had flipped in its side. The flow of information stemmed, and the invader tried to tighten it's grip on the human consciousness it had become so attached to.

Dib was suddenly wretched from Zim's brain and thrust into his own body. The difference was immediate and astonishing. So imperfect and blemished was his mind compared to Zim's. And it was loud, but strangely quiet. His own mind didn't have that defined crack against a perfect wall - it was just all rubble.

* * *

The second connection was easier, as the pathways were already made, and more time was able to be spent on actually filtering out the human's body.

The process of taking off the PAK, however, was not any more pleasant than last time. If fact, it was harder to separate the parasitic Irken brain-helper from the boy as it tried to take over the new body.

When he reattached his PAK for the second time, he was hit by the overwhelming Dibbiness. It set Zim on alert - Dib should not have been that far into his PAK. It was almost like...he actively melded with it. The invader didn't know why the human would do such a thing, especially since it seemed Dib had been very close to his defect. Surely that would drive the boy insane. The imperfect part of him was immensely deep within his PAK and if the Dib had gone in the far, it would explain how so much data had been shared and how thoroughly the human body had been cleansed, but the data flow was the problem.

It seems that when you share a PAK, the memories and files are duplicated and transferred. Zim panted for breath as he made a mental note to never do that again should he survive whatever punishment he got dealt. At least now he knew why it was a law punishable by death to never share PAKs. Zim scoffed, but then grabbed his head at the pain. The PAK was quick to administer relief, but all the information that Zim _really _didn't need to know about Dib was just too exhausting.

Zim sat a moment, staring at the new marks on Dib's back. There was a big circle right between Dib's shoulder blades. Directly below it was a medium sized circle. To the top and sides of the big, center circle, were three small circles. They were all slightly indented and to anyone intelligent in the universe: a tell-tale sign of a PAK connection. No non-irkens live with this mark. It has been done, but the alien and the Irken responsible were both immediately erased.

Zim sighed. He'd figure it out in the morning. For now, the Irken just fit himself onto the edge of the bed, wrapping his limbs around his human companion to keep himself from falling. Not even bothering to attach himself to a power supply, Zim used the beating of Dib's healthy heart to drown out the pounding on the door and slip into a state of hibernation.

* * *

**Now review and tell me what you thought. Please. :3**


	14. Cornering a Compromise

**Hey! Surprisingly: I'm back! I had signed into FF because I was going to delete this story. I just felt like I wasn't updating fast enough and letting you all down, and I really don't have time for it. However, I looked in my email, and I see reviews! I was like: "Holy Crappers! People review even when a new chapter hasn't just been posted?" The answer is: Yes, they do! I love you, ****Nobody's Home.**

**I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed for reminding me how much I enjoyed writing this story. **

**Also, a warm Thank You to Illisandria Carthain for continuing to beta this and putting up with me. =] You're the best. **

**(Also, people have asked a very serious question: Where **_**IS**_** GIR? The answer: I did not forget about him, if that's what you are wondering. :P )**

**And so, a Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or any of its characters. I am not making a profit off of this and the views expressed in this story on the Irken PAK and society are not necessarily shared with the original creator - Jhonen Vasquez - and are my own personal opinions and takes on the race. Thank you.**

Cornering a Compromise

* * *

_Zim sighed. He'd figure it out in the morning. For now, the Irken just fit himself onto the edge of the bed, slightly wrapping his limbs around his human companion. Not even bothering to attach himself to a power supply, Zim used the beating of Dib's healthy heart to drown out the pounding on the door and slip into a hibernation state._

* * *

Invader Zim rose almost a full Earth day later. As his senses woke up, Zim made no mistakes in knowing where he was. The Irken was still wrapped around the human, who was still sleeping and had not even shifted in his slumber.

Zim sat up, untangled himself, and knew he still had to talk to his Tallests about his crimes. Sighing, and running a clawed hand down his face, the Irken noted that he should get it over with while he had energy in his PAK from resting. Already in a bad mood, he knew he needed to be in control because they would not be happy. Never before had Zim felt so down about going to stand before the mighty Irken leaders.

Metal boots tapped on the cold floor after Zim swung his legs over the side of the bed. Standing, he straightened his uniform and his posture to perfection before striding over to the door with confidence. He paused to listen. While he didn't hear anything, he was almost certain that there would be soldiers waiting to apprehend them. Zim took an irritated breath and schooled his face into a passive, determined, superior expression.

The door slide open with a _whoosh_ at the biding of Zim and the Irken stepped out daringly into a circle of readied guards. Zim gave them all a piercingly flat look. One guard bravely stepped forward.

"Commander and Invader Zim, we are hereby placing you unde-"

"Stand down." The guard hesitated when he was suddenly interrupted by the taller Irken, of whom he was supposed to be taking into custody.

"Sir-"

"I said, stand down." Zim glared, then turned swiftly to one of the lower ranking soldiers. "You." The poor Irken shrank back. "You are to go and retrieve Invader Tak. Tell her that she is to come and take care of the human on my orders."

"Y-Yes Sir!" The Irken squeaked his reply and darted off. His neighbor would have called out to him, since he was taking orders from the 'prisoner', but was halted when Zim suddenly commanded his undivided attention.

"And you. You are going to stay here and guard the human until Tak arrives. After that, you will follow her orders." The Irken guard blinked. What was going on? Zim narrowed his eyes dangerously and it suddenly didn't matter. In the blink of an eye, the Irken was like stone by the door, ready and at attention. Zim nodded and turned sharply back to the confused Irken Guard he had stolen command from. "The rest of you will accompany me to the Almighty Tallests."

It was with that last statement that Zim turned and marched purposefully off down the hall. The circle of Irkens was left shocked. It was just...none of them really knew what had just happened there. The Irken that had spoken to the Invader first suddenly animated, having realized that their supposed-to-be-prisoner was walking down the hall without them. This started a chain reaction of movement and soon all the Irkens had run to take up a troop formation under the lead of Zim.

* * *

As Zim walked on, his thoughts ran wild. As Zim's thoughts went wild, the more his anger ripened. He blamed the Resisty, of course, for what happened. But the more he thought about it, it was the Tallests. They were in control, they had the responsibility, they were the ones who could not make up their _frickin'_ minds. Zim growled, and his escorts let themselves lag back another step farther from him.

The Invader's steps got heavier, carrying the weight of more rage. He snapped around the corner and Irkens literally jumped out his path, flattening themselves against the walls despite the arc of their PAKs. It was like an ice storm thundering through the hall.

It was a quick walk, actually, and all too soon for Zim to gather his better ideas. He now stood before the door that Red and Purple were behind.

* * *

Red had awoken not too long ago, and had immediately tried to get up. The medics, not wishing that their leader strain himself, insisted that he remain seated and plugged in to medical PAK cords to relieve some of the work. Purple had agreed and so here they were: Red in bed, and Purple seated at his bedside. It was dead quiet, the medics were backed against the wall, and you could taste the tension.

It was just after Red had woken that a drone had run in screaming about Zim-

_"My Tallests, My Tallests!" A frantic Irken rushed in the door without a formal approval. Both the leaders' heads snapped to him, shocked and furious. The unimportant shorty winced, hesitated, and then blurted out his reason for being so disrespectful. "My Tallests, myapologies, Zimandthehuman'sbody!" He took a deep breath. "He',whatshouldwedo?" The Irken panted as his leaders shared a confused look. Red rolled his eyes._

_"Come again?" Purple raised a brow in confusion. The drone had an expression of exasperation as he took a deep breath and tried again, slowly._

_"My Tallests, my apologies, but...I-Invader Zim has put his PAK on the human t-"_

_"**WHAT!**" Red and Purple roared simultaneously and the Irken cringed, covering his head uselessly with his arms, cowering. But it didn't matter as Red had already forgotten about him, shouting orders into a mike from his PAK._

_"Get a group down to Zim's medical room __**now! **__He can't stay in there forever, and the second he comes out, I want him restrained. Notify us immediately when you have him in custody." Red hung up and hissed. Purple fumed. The medics wisely stayed stone quiet. The Irken Drone slowly backed out of the room._

-which brings us to the present tension. Red was furious, Purple was in disbelief. Why the _hell_ would the idiot do something like that? Oh wait, maybe because he was an idiot? Purple slammed his hand against the wall in frustration. Red didn't even flinch.

Both pairs of eyes snapped to the door as it slid open.

* * *

Zim punched the activation scan, and the door slid open. Taking a determined step in, he shoved formality out the door along with his "escorts". They seemed pretty okay with not witnessing this event though. Funny that.

Invader Zim turned smoldering deep eyes on the Irken Leaders. He could see their surprise and then how it turned to disgust and requited hatred. This _had_ to work, there was no other option.

"My Tallests, your disgust is wasted on me. I don't give a damn about what you think of me right now." Zim hissed. Purple's jaw fell open and Red's eyes narrowed dangerously as he sat up in his bed.

"You _dare,_ Zim? We are your leaders, and you _will_ show us respect, _scum_." Red barked.

"When you show me the respect I deserve, I will return the favor." Zim took a challenging step forward.

"You _are _being showed the respect you deserve! You soiled an Irken PAK! It is forbidden! We should have you executed on the spot for that! With such an act, the Control Brains don't even need to see you in trial!" Purple stood tall and hovered over to stand in front of Zim, trying to impose his superiority. Zim only grinned maliciously. Insanity and confidence had already taken it's toll.

"Then do it. Do it and lose the war when Lard Nar comes back for a third attempt. You know as well as I do that I am the reason the Empire is still alive. If it weren't for me, the Resisty would have had the _Massive_, and your heads would have rolled across the deck." In response the Invader's snide statement, Purple rammed his gauntlet into Zim's cheek. And as Zim reeled to the side from the force, the medics made no move to get involved.

"Do not make the mistake of believing that you are the only capable warrior on this ship, Zim. What you did was treason against the Empire." Purple growled. Red glared at the smaller Irken from his spot on the bed, too angry to be impressed with his co-leader.

Catching himself before he fell, Zim recovered from the blow, deliberately straightening himself out. Glaring defiantly, the Irken cracked his jaw back into place and spat a bit of pink blood onto the floor at the Tallests feet. Both leaders growled low in their throats in warning.

"I'm not the only capable warrior, but I am the only warrior capable of doing what was necessary in the battle on the main deck. It took a defect to slaughter that efficiently. No other warrior would have been able to just rip apart the enemy like I did." Zim was smirking again. "That's the problem - the Irkens have grown _soft _under your rule. You lose the energy to power our newer weapons and suddenly no one knows how to kill because you can't do it without getting a little dirty. As for the treason," the smirk fell, and a snarl replaced it. "_you_ did that long before_ I_ did."

"You have no idea what you are talking about. We are the Tallests. We _are_ the Empire." Red matched Zim's expression, as Purple was too furious for words. "As your Tallests, you cannot disobey the Empire. You _will_ go kill the human with your own hands. You _will_ continue to finish this war, and afterwards you _will_ be executed for your crimes." The red Tallest was talking with so much restrained fury, that it was almost as if he was yelling at the Invader despite the whispered tone.

"I will _not_." Zim barred his teeth at his bed-ridden leader. "You are to blame for everything that has happened. _You_ had the power. _You_ abused it. _You_ gave the Resisty reason to attack. _You_ held the public meeting, and _you couldn't fucking save yourself so a fucking human had to do it for you!" _The raging Irken was panting with the exertion now. "It is not his fault that you couldn't handle the power given to you. He should not bear the consequences for all that you have fucked up with your weakness and inability to lead!"

"_**ENOUGH!**_" Red roared and Purple went to skewer the insolent Invader with a spider leg. It met a traitorous mechanical limb before piercing it's target. Metal screeched against metal. Sparks flew. Loading his booted left leg, Zim shot it out in a strong kick to Purple's abdomen.

Staggering back with pain and surprise, Purple looked at Zim with wide eyes. Red was just as shocked that Invader Zim just attacked his leader in this relatively stable state. Traditions were being thrown out the window.

"_**NO!**_" Zim roared in return. "I'm programed to live only for the Empire. You are _not_ the Empire. If the Tallest was the Empire, then our race would have died right after the first Tallest." He was shaking with suppressed violence now. "The Empire is the _Massive_. It's the PAK. It's Planet Irk and Maternia. It's the Control Brains. It is not you, it is not the population. Our Empire is what we have made it, and it is not us." Zim lowered his voice to a dangerous level. "I will save this Empire no matter the costs, even if it means removing you as its leaders." There was a sharp intake of breath from all the Irkens in the room besides the one speaking. Nothing like this had ever happened in the history of the Irken race. The two Tallests weren't exactly sure how to go about this.

"Zim. This is a terrible joke. Take it back, or you will face the consequences." Red collected the broken pieces and his eyes were narrowed dangerously, it was clear he was not amused by whatever jag Zim was trying to pull.

"I'm very seriously, my Tallests. I will not support you any longer in this fight. But if you don't remedy this, I will, and I will cleanse the ranks while I'm at it." The Invader's voice retained the low threatening tone.

Tallest Purple wondered when this had gotten so out of hand. They were now facing threats from outside and inside the Empire. He shook his head.

"This is insanity, Zim. There are regulations that Irkens have to follow. Both you and the human have to be executed for the contamination of a PAK."

"Tallest Purple. If you kill him, I will not hesitate." Zim paused a moment and clasped his hands behind his back, his face turned downwards. "How much damage do you think I could do before you could take me down?" The question was asked innocently as Zim gazed at his leader from under his brows. Tallest Purple clenched his jaw as Red nearly ripped the thin sheets with his curling claws. Both knew the answer was a crippling amount, and both knew that the defect would follow through. They would not survive.

"What would you have us do?" Purple ground out the question through his teeth; the leaders loathed the position they had been cornered into. Zim smirked.

"Let me stay with the human while he recovers. When he's ready, give him my ship and send him back to his home planet peacefully. At that time, I'll go with you willingly." There was a long silence as the Tallests contemplated.

"You're an idiot." Purple mumbled the comment. The Invader had them in a corner, he must have realized it, yet he only asks for the sparing of one human. He didn't even ask for his own life. Red had to agree when he heard the quiet statement. Zim only shook his head.

"Very well." Red spoke up, looking thoughtful and determined. "You will be locked within your rooms. Food and supplies will be brought to you, and you will under no circumstances leave those rooms without permission. At the time that medics deem the human stable to travel, we will give him your ship, fully supplied, and let him go. _You_ will then be placed in long-term Hibernation and given Primary Rank." The last sentence was said with deliberate clarity. Tallest Purple snapped his head up to look at Red, shock clearly written over his face. Zim made no move except for closing his eyes, thinking. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and sealed his fate:

"Agreed."

* * *

Zim walked past the guards waiting outside the door, resigned. When they tried to follow, the Invader just stopped, looked calmly over his shoulder at them and continued on without a word. The group shared a look, and silently decided that awkwardly shuffling in the hall was a much more pressing matter to attend to.

The only sound that accompanied the walking Irken was the taps his metal boots made on the metal floors. He felt drained again and decided that he really needed to properly recharge tonight.

Turning the last corner to his destination, he saw the two Irkens guards he had given commands to earlier. As he neared, they snapped their spines straighter and held the rigid stance, stepping aside as Zim nodded to them and entered the room.

Inside, Tak was sitting in a chair that was tactically seated to see both the door and the still sleeping Dib. As Zim walked in, she stood, looking slightly worried. Zim gave her a small smile and she returned it.

"How is he?" Zim gestured to the prone human.

"He hasn't changed, just been sleeping." Tak shrugged, and Zim nodded in understanding. "Listen, Zim, about what you did..." The female Invader had started, but the male held up his hand to stop her.

"I used my PAK, I know, but I've spoken to the Tallests and have arranged for the Dib to be sent back to Earth when he is stable." Tak's eyes widened, such a thing was unheard of. "I do not wish to speak about it." Zim sighed, and Tak could see the dreariness in his features.

"Come, let's get you plugged in. You look like you need it. When was the last you slept, anyway?" She waved him over to the bed and picked Dib up gently. At first Zim started and almost yelled about moving the boy, but Tak cut him off fiercely. "Lie down and hook up." Zim raised a brow in question, but complied, really too tired to resist the luring power source.

After Zim was all attached, comfortable and starting to doze, Tak returned Dib to the bed, much to the laying Irken's surprise. The girl only snickered and grinned as she settled Dib on his side, his head on Zim's unhurt shoulder, and wrapped Zim's arm around back of the human.

Tak's smug expression was the last thing Zim saw as the power took over and his PAK forced a regenerative sleep.

* * *

**Reviews make me make time for this story because I feel like people are actually reading it. So you should go do that now. :)**


	15. He Doesn't Care, Obviously

**I'd like to sincerely thank all of you who sat, staring at your computer screens, patiently waiting for this update. Even if you didn't sit and stare, I still warmly thank you. In fact, if you even remembered me at all after all this time, I can't thank you enough. **

**Also, Illisandria Carthain (my wonderful beta), I love you for putting up with me. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or any of its characters. I am not making a profit off of this and the views expressed in this story on the Irken PAK and society are not necessarily shared with the original creator - Jhonen Vasquez - and are my own personal opinions and takes on the race. Thank you.**

He Doesn't Care, Obviously

Dib opened his eyes. There was none of the usual grogginess or confusion, just an animated brain that pieced together the situation. The first thing he saw was a mass of pink.

He blinked. '_I'm not dead_.'

There was a few things that he realized:  
1. He had slept with his glasses on.  
2. He must be laying on something that was Irken owned and therefore explained the pink (which was a color they seemed to favor as a whole).  
3. The lights were off.  
4. The room was dead silent.  
5. Realization four was actually incorrect.

There was a quiet mechanical humming close to his ear, coming from the pink pillow beneath his head. Arcing his aching neck up, he saw green.

He blinked. '_Zim?_'

The human studied the relaxed face for a moment in the semi-darkness. He observed the closed eyelids which were not fluttering in sleep as other beings' would. The pore-less green skin stretched over distinguished, nose-less, cheekbones. His eyes traced over the defined jaw, and down his neck.

'_Zim is sorta beautiful_.' The random thought came out of nowhere, he would have questioned it if a light knock hadn't come at the door. He turned slightly despite his protesting muscles, and looked over his shoulder to see a figure stand up from a chair. The tube attached above the left slightly glowing, purple eye gave away Tak's identity. They locked gazes for a moment before Tak broke it and called quietly.

"Come in." The door swished open, and the body there made Dib frown.

* * *

Renik opened the door to the dark medic room. His eyes adjusted quickly, if not immediately, and what he saw made his heart freeze. The human thing was still alive, staring at him, and worse than that it was clinging to a sleeping Zim. Just being in a room with a sleeping Irken was a huge sign of trust and companionship, but to actually be on the same bed was unheard of! It is insane, impossible, preposterous!

He narrowed his eyes and almost growled when the light pink-skinned Dib glared at him and turned over, pointedly wrapping his arms over Zim's body and nuzzling in to his shoulder. His hardened gaze never left their forms, even as his attention was divided partly to Tak.

"Renik. What have you come for?" The female's hard voice was commanding. It made the lower Irken pause to remember past his hate.

"Invader T-Tak, I was t-told to h-have Invader Z-Zim woken and sent to his r-room immediately, o-on order of the T-Tallests. There is a g-group outside waiting to e-escort him."

Tak just nodded.

"Very well, but you must wait a few moments more. Zim should be waking up on his own soon." Hard purple eyes narrowed in on Renik's soft pink ones. "You're going to have to wait outside." There was no question and, while Renik dearly wanted to stay within the room, he did not dare directly oppose Invader Tak. She was scary in her own right.

And so, stepping out, the waiting resumed with agitation and anticipation.

Dib had listened vaguely to the conversation, but didn't put much thought into it. He wasn't putting much thought into anything, actually, he was just feeling too lazy. And so, he lay there in the new humming silence, face pressed into Zim's chest. Yep. No thought.

Slowly the buzzing of the machinery inside the Irken beneath his ear had blended into his mind. It was that same feeling he had had in his dream. The breathing light, the Zim light. That horrible thing. However, this one was not at all the same. It did not have have that off-note, it was perfect. It was unnerving, but captivating.

Dib didn't know how long he had lay there after Renik left, and he didn't know what Tak was doing or if she had returned to her seated post. All he new, was that the wall had no scratches. He had stared long and hard - well, maybe not long, he didn't know after all - at this barrier of sturdy, shiny metal, and it didn't have a scratch. Was it a new wall? It didn't seem like they would put one new wall in a ship, so it was probably as old as the ship was. Maybe the ship was new? Possibly. But there was a battle, there should be a scratch of some sort. But if the battle wasn't here...? The human narrowed his eyes at the offending fortification and decidedly resolutely that this wall should indeed have a scratch. With a lazy hand, Dib tried to mar the surface with a fingernail. He couldn't quite reach. Trying to push himself closer, Dib tried to cross just that last bit of distance. Zim's body was in the way, between him and the wall. Rolling, almost unsuccessfully, over, and now half atop of Zim rather than beside him, Dib was able to brush his fingertips over the cold, flat surface. His hand flopped back down though, maybe it wasn't worth the effort. So, as Dib lay half on his alien friend, he tried to glare a mark onto the wall. It didn't take as much effort, and if it ended up working the he just gained a nifty new eye laser ability.

A few moments more.

There was a shift in the air. A hiss sounded below his head and clicks responded. The buzz adopted a higher-pitched whiny tone, as if a large weight had been dropped upon it. The perfection was shattered. Dib turned his head so that he was looking his pillow's face, chin resting on its chest. Said pillow opened emerald lids to reveal ruby eyes.

It blinked. It focused. Dib grinned. It growled.

* * *

Zim felt the control drain back to his own body as the ship released its hold. His senses returned. It was quiet, soft breathing was all to be heard around the small beeps and hums of a space ship. There was a weight of his chest, not entirely uncomfortable, and there was a rhythmic beat inside that pulsed against his skin. With the want to know what living thing would be so close while he had slept, he opened his eyes effortlessly. Quickly his gaze zeroed in on the culprit.

Dib.

The Irken was frozen, torn between the urge to hug and punch the boy. He was alive, alive and awake. He was not dead, spread across the balcony floor in front of an audience, cold and blue and dead. Zim had actually thought that the Dib might not live. Relief swelled through his chest. But...no. There was Tak, and hugging was not something an Irken would do. One the other hand, while punching would be much more suitable, the human was injured. Zim would just be grateful that the boy was alive so that he could die by Zim's own amazing hands. Sweet revenge and all that, of course, for making him worry.

Live or not, Dib was laying on top of him. Why was Dib laying on top of him? Why was Dib laying on top of him shirtless? The stupid human's mouth split open into a goofy expression, revealing his dirt-stink brain's stoopidity. Zim growled low in his chest in response.

"Get off me Dib-stink." A pout was offered in return.

"No." Dib's expression was childish. Really, for someone so close to death not that long ago, he sure was acting fine. Zim could feel where their bodies were touching, where Dib's weight and warmth rested against his own cooler muscles. The Irken was not okay with the feeling, or rather the way it had the ability to make him feel uncomfortable.

"Dib-filth, you will rise off of Zim this very instant." Red eyes narrowed. Honey eyes challenged right back.

"Make me." Dib smirked and Zim would have growled back another insult before a third voice interrupted them.

"You both really are idiots." Zim's head snapped around to see Tak giving them both a flat look tinted with amusement. "Now if you are quite done flirting, you have a visitor, you know." She thumbed in the direction of the door. Zim's tracked mind attached to the fact that there was a visitor and completely missed both the female Irken's comment and the human's reddening cheeks.

"Very well. Send them in." Zim stated before starting the process of sitting up despite the body on top of him. Unfortunately, this jostled Dib, a hiss signaled the shot of pain that raced like fire down the human's back. Zim could feel the muscles tighten beneath the pale skin. Immediately going stone still as Dib curled into a ball, worry gnawed at Zim as he tried to comfort the human with a hand on his head. The invader only looked up when the door opened and a few other Irkens walked in.

Zim recognized a few faces to the point where he knew he should know them, but couldn't be bothered with names. One of the group stepped forward and spoke.

"Invader Z-Zim. Your r-rooms have been prepared. You a-are to g-go to them and stay until o-otherwise instructed by the Almighty T-tallests." The drone looked sheepish and Zim knew that this one was familiar. '_Oh, yes. The cafeteria. That was a yummy muffin_.' The side-tracked train of thought only slightly brought back memories of this particular Irken.

"Of course." Zim said distractedly and flipped a hand in the Irken's direction. Looking down to the ball of human in his lap, Zim poked it lightly in the head. "Dib-beast, can you walk?"

Dib's voice was mumbled and not even the superior antennae could discover the words the sound was supposed to be. Zim's face fell to clearly unimpressed and he sighed in just barely concealed exasperation. A different Irken from the group stepped forward.

"Sir, would you like us to carry him?" Dib seemed to flinch away from this idea physically, as if he was going to try and crawl away from him regardless of the pain that had rooted him to his current position.

"No, no. Now get away from me." It wasn't said with malice in Zim's voice, just the usual superior irritation. The denied Irken quickly retreated into formation. "Dib-stink, I am going to remove my legs out from under you." Without really waiting for a reply, the invader slipped his hands under the human and lifted lightly, manuvering his legs out as carefully as he could.

Once free, he let the human down and stood, brushing himself off of the invisible dirt that came from being around humans. Tak moved forward to the Dib, shaking her head. A round device was blinking red in her hand. With an encouraging hand, she was able to turn the boy just enough to place the device on his chest and press the blinking red button. Much like the boots Dib had found in Zim's base, a dry liquid stretched over his body. A traditional Irken helmet was soon to follow, and as such, it vanished from view a moment after it had settled. Dib still didn't understand the technology behind it, it was just as well as none of the Irkens expected him to.

As Tak stepped back, Zim stepped forward again.

"Dib-beast, we have to move locations. Can you walk or do you need to be carried?" Zim raised an eyebrow. Dib narrowed his eyes, he didn't need the help.

"I'll be fine, I've had worse." The human was stubborn and slowly shifted to a sitting position with his legs hanging over the bed. He only occasional winced and paused when he tried to move his back too much - damn he was sore. Zim only scoffed and rolled his pupil-less eyes, while stabs were certain to have been received before (Zim had delivered it himself a few times after all), it was doubtful that the human had almost died from a highly lethal chemical previous to this little adventure.

The Irkens continued to watch as Dib pitifully tried to stand without assistance. The human had braced himself, fingers clenched around the cold metal at the end of the bed, back as straight as he could keep it. His knees shook and with feet planted on the ground, her tried to swing his hips up in an awkward clockwise motion. The plan failed and Dib found himself once again seated on the edge of the bed.

Getting bored, Zim stepped over to stand straight in front of the struggling human. Giving Dib a flat, unimpressed expression in return for his innocently questioning look, the Invader shook his head. Dib stopped, confused.

Suddenly, and with a great amount of swiftness, Zim was leaning over Dib, palms planted on either side of the human's legs with a loud clap. The human, with a sharp pain through his back muscles, had to lean back quickly so that the Irken would not hit their heads together. For a moment that seemed like hours, all Dib could see were deep red eyes and a jagged smirk.

"You're pathetic." Zim scoffed.

Dib frowned, but started with a squeak when hands slid under his butt. The strong Irken arms lifted his body the short distance from the bed to Zim's hip. The Invader now braced the human against himself, left arm supporting under Dib, carrying him like a child. Without thought, human arms wrapped around Zim's neck to keep from falling back, opting not to land back on the bed in a painful moment of inelegance. The human's cheeks were flushed and he glared.

"Zim, I can walk fine on my own, put me down." Dib was not comfortable, legs on either side of Zim's thin body, sitting on the green boy's bony hip. The Irken only rolled his eyes.

"Of course, Dib-stink, because your first few failed attempts proved that excellently." He scoffed. "No, I will carry you, and you will not hold us up. The faster we get to the rooms, the faster you can go back to laying down and proceeding with the inferior human recovery process-thing." Zim readjusted his hold on Dib, scooting the boy up to rest more comfortably on his side, and turned to walk out the door. The Irkens filed into formation behind him, and the entourage marched down the halls. But just because Dib was in no position to fight against Zim didn't mean he couldn't argue and complain.

"Zim, this is stupid. I mean really stupid." Dib kept a flat look on his face, as if he wasn't being carried and as if his dignity wasn't hurt.

"You're stupid, now shut up." Zim kept his eyes forward. Dib's eyebrows furrowed slightly, and with a frown, he opened his mouth to release what was sure to be a witty comeback. He was interrupted by a familiar voice from just behind them in the marching ranks.

"You're both more stupid than I could have ever imagined. Now can we please walk in silence without your obnoxious bickering?" Purple eyes were narrowed at Dib as he turned to face the one who had spoken. The other Irkens present wisely stayed quiet, sharing a look with each other. Renik just glared.

"Hey, don't be mean, we're all friends now, right?"

"No." The response was immediate from both Tak and Zim. Dib blinked, looking back and forth for a moment. That was slightly unexpected.

"But aren't you working together now?" The human questioned, genuinely curious. Tak responded first.

"Just because we are working together does not make us friends. We are but soldiers in the same platoon." The female Irken had her arms crossed. Zim had chosen to remain silent for once. The Invader had called on Tak during the preparations on Earth's moon, and she had been very helpful, but Zim would never admit it. As far as he was concerned, he could have done it better himself, but he had been slightly holed up in the lab testing chemicals.

Zim shifted Dib, much to the haired one's discomfort, so that the human was now higher on the Irken's hip, as he had been slipping over the walk. Dib just tried to remain passive, and the conversation died.

Eventually the group turned a corner and crossed through a sliding door. While the walls were not notably different, a glowing sigh said "Residence". Funny, Dib didn't remember that there before. Perhaps this was a different way than they had come in earlier.

Another hallway and Dib's helmet was resting on the back of Zim's shoulders. The human was starting to tire again. Zim had tensed at first, but it hadn't lasted long, and Dib assumed that while this was awkward for both of them, the Invader didn't mind that much. He hadn't dropped him, after all.

It was two halls after that, that the group finally stopped before a door. When it opened, Dib pulled his head up and saw the room he had been in once before, although the bed looked like it had been doubled in size and even to his human nose the smell was like a hospital. There had obviously been some heavy duty sterilization done in here. Dib's stuff, which had once been thrown in a corner, was no where to be found. Only piles of clothes from the bag was left saying that it had been there at all. Dib frowned. He had liked that bag. It was sturdy.

Zim walked in while the others waited respectfully outside. (Dib made a mental note about territorial tendencies within Irkens.) With surprising gentleness, the Irken deposited the human on to the bed before returning to the door.

Zim faced Tak, looking down on her smaller form. The female's expression was stern.

"Zim, there's something you should know."

"That's Commander Zim to you." Zim added with a haughty tone. Tak ground her teeth, seething on the inside.

"Fine." She ground out. "_Commander _Zim, there is something you should be aware of-" But Zim had lost interest and was observing his gloved finger tips lazily.

"Mhm, yeah, sure whatever. Hey, make sure that they send food the Dib can digest." Zim turned away to face towards Dib in the room and, as Tak opened her mouth to say something and reached out an arm to stop Zim, the door swished shut. A series of clicks and beeps followed and the door was securely shut, only to be opened from the outside on the Tallest's order. Now, all that had to be done was for the human to heal. The female irken cursed colorfully, kicked the door, and stalked off down the hall.

* * *

Dib had only been siting since Zim had placed him on the bed. He watched as Zim talked briefly with Tak, and sweat-dropped as the male Irken had shut the door on the female, effectively cutting her off. The only problem now, was that the now non-distracted green alien was staring at him. Dib could see the fire smouldering in the reb orbs: pure barely bridled anger and frustration.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Zim's narrowed, and he crossed his arms. Dib figured that maybe it was to stop himself from physically lashing out.

"What are you talking about, Zim?" Dib sighed and rolled his eyes in a '_what now?_' manner. The Irken growled.

"You know what, idiot. Why did you take the blow for my Tallest?" Zim was shaking with suppressed anger and Dib could only blink, thinking the answer obvious.

"They're your leaders, Zim. Don't they, you know, run your whole empire? Wouldn't it be bad if they were assassinated?" Dib shrugged his shoulders, giving Zim a rather flat look.

The Irken had to pause a moment to think. The Dib had saved his Tallest simply because it would have been bad for the Irken Empire for them to have died?

"And what would you care? What does it matter to you, human, what the Irken Empire has to go through?" The words were hissed around jagged teeth. Dib narrowed his own eyes in return.

"Because you care?" The human's tone of voice was that of someone trying to tell an idiot something painfully perceivable. "Tell me one good reason that I shouldn't have helped?"

"BECAUSE THEY WERE THREATENING YOU!" Zim exploded. "You're weren't wearing fucking armor Dib! You're mortal! Stop pretending that you are some sort of hero out here, because you're NOT. This isn't Earth, things out here are on another level that you can't even begin to understand with you're stupid head-meats!"

"Why do you care anyway Zim? Huh?" Dib raised his voice. He hated the fact that Zim was here telling him what he could and could not handle. He always had hated it, and he always strove to prove him wrong, and he always did.

"I DON'T care!" Zim threw his hands up in the air, snapping them back down to his sides in a silent display of frustration. Growling out nonsensical mutterings, the Irken stormed to the bathroom door, and slammed on the manual open button with violent force.

Dib watched the door, feeling the anger starting to drain. He really was worn out, and for good reason considering all his body had been subjected to. Zim's bloody mood swings were not helping either. With a sigh, Dib carefully laid back on the bed, flinging an arm over his eyes. He could still hear the faint grumbling within the bathroom.

It was only after a sharp crack that Dib removed his arm and lifted his head to look at the door. It opened to let Zim out, revealing a quick glimpse of a broken reflective object - a mirror type thing, perhaps. Well, that explains the noise.

The Irken marched over, still fuming. Dib gave him a flat look and opened his mouth to say something that surely would have been witty once Zim had stopped by the bed, but it closed when he didn't stop. In fact, Dib's eyes went wide as Zim climbed on the bed, over the human's body. With a hand on either side of his head, a knee on either side of his hips, and two fiery eyes looming over his, all but one reasonable response left the Dib:

"What are you doing?"

Zim's eyes narrowed, and the feeling on them boring into his soul intensified. Never had he had such an opportunity to study the Irken's eyes, and now that he did, he noticed swirls of colors other than the deep red that dominated. There were tints of yellow, and glimmers of purple. There was no pupil, there was no gateway to the soul through these eyes - or maybe there wasn't a soul, making a gate to it highly unnecessary. He mentally shoved away these after thoughts.

"No one is dying to save you." Zim's voice was a harsh whisper.

"I never expected you to." Dib didn't know what possessed him to think of Zim as the 'one' that the Irken was specifying. But it was true, Dib never once expected the alien to sacrifice his own life for his enemy's, Zim had worlds to conquer, Tallests to report to, duties to fufill. Well, he did at one point, and he does again. The time in between was just a blank void, a fumble that shouldn't have happened. "It wouldn't be worth it."

The fire in Zim's eyes flared, and he bared his teeth in anger and he smacked his hand against the mattress to the left of Dib's head.

"You need to live." The words came out as a hiss between the gritted teeth. And Dib just narrowed his eyes, this wasn't making sense. Zim had never cared for his life before, why start now?

"Why?" The tone was harsh, almost like a threat.

"Because, Dib, you are now my resistance." Zim's scentless breath washed over Dib's skin as the human's mind went reeling. He didn't even notice the distance closing, did not register the bed shifting noiselessly as the Irken elbows bent and lowered the green skin to his. Dib noticed, though, as the smooth lip-less mouth pressed against his with a certain amount of dominant roughness. Dib would have gasped if he dared intake much needed air, but he felt cornered, like a predator had come too close, and that if he moved he would be attacked. Obviously this was not supposed to be happening, and once the Irken came to his senses, whatever was wrong would be blamed on the human.

The deep red eyes had long fallen shut, and the uncertain gesture held no hesitation as Dib's body forced a shuttered breath, two sets of lungs exchanging air, signaling the snapping point. Pink lids cut off the light, and everything sane was abandoned recklessly in the dark as the human pushed back - gave in.

The mouths pressed against each other, and Dibs arms lifted to wrap around the back of the Irken's neck, pulling the alien closer. This was not the human's first kiss, as he had once kissed a girl in the beginning of high school, but this was his first _kiss_. Compared to this, that previous encounter was simply a peck, hardly qualified to be a kiss at all.

It was as a serpentine tongue slipped into his mouth and wrapped around his own, that a small whimpered groan vibrated in his throat. And just like that, everything was gone. All contact was ripped away and the loosely clasped hands were forced to release as Zim's neck wretched through them with a sharp pull back. Dib's eyes snapped wide, mouth still open, and lifted his head to spot a PAK disappearing around the corner as the bathroom door slid shut behind it. Another shattering sound came not much after.

After a moment of staring in shock, mind reeling with nothingness, Dib heaved an exasperated sigh and let his head flop back down onto the mattress with a dull thud. He threw his arm over his eyes again and mentally screwed it all, not wanting to deal with anything just yet.

'_Well, fuck_.'

Eventually, the human fell asleep, lips still humming with the warmth of the other's skin.

* * *

Inside the bathroom, Zim picked broken pieces of mirror out of his glove. Casting each piece to the ground in anger. How could he be so stupid?

A growl tore up his throat as he angrily took up a large fragment of the broken vanity equipment. With a narrowed gaze, he studied his steaming tongue. He poked at it. It wasn't badly harmed, just felt oddly tingly as if he had eaten something spicy. It would be fine in the morning, surely.

With another huff, Zim chucked the piece to the floor, watched as it shattered into smaller pieces and sank to the edge of the tub. He rested his elbow on his knee and his head in his palms, cursing the existence of pretty much everything.

* * *

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